How To Be A Heartbreaker | James Potter [COMPLETED]

Chapter Eighteen: Somewhere Along in the Bitterness

James Potter was never very religious during his short sixteen years on Earth. But as he stared at the empty stairs leading down to the Gryffindor Common Room, he found himself subconsciously praying any higher source to save him before he collapsed. He never thought he could feel so much hurt in so little time. It was never like that with Lily, the pain never lasted long enough for it to leave traces. Even after hundreds of rejection, he didn't falter and he thought he was almost invincible to heartache. But with Sapphire, everything was more magnified, more present, his nerves would sit on edge. and he'd be impatiently waiting for her every unexpected move.

The erratic beating of his heart didn't stop as he stood, his back to her while she cried and he did too, and while he tried to compose himself to not show how hurt he really was. From the sounds of her gasped whimpers, Sapphire was in no better state than he was. The purple- haired girl stared at his back with pain in her irises, not knowing what to do or what to say or how to act when he just stood there, so close to her yet so far away. In such little time, she lost so much from her close friend to her boyfriend, it was an endless spiral of depletion.

"You think I don't care about you?" James' voice came out husky and on edge, bordering between calm and complete rage. He refused to look at her, clutching the doorknob to her dorm room for dear life.

"If you care, you'd let me explain." Words bubbled in her throat, screams and accusations that would only further her losses threatening to escape her. "But no, you're running away. You're not giving me a chance to speak to tell you the truth, you just keep running away from me, James."

"Then explain!" He turned around suddenly, scaring her with the tone of his yell, and closing the door loudly behind him. "Explain to me why there are letters coming to you from the guy you left-- letters that contain his love confessions to you letters that you were going to respond to! Explain to me why you're always disappearing every evening and coming back soaked or freezing, why you're still friends with the slimiest git who deliberately tried to break us up," James' voice cracked as he looked her in the eye, his hurt shining through his gaze. "Explain...explain to me why you need Snape so much and not me."

Sapphire's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets, mouth opening and closing like a fish's "What?"

"I'm not an idiot," he said, sadly. "I know that if you didn't need Snape so much, you'd stop seeing him, you'd stop being his friend. But for some reason, you do, because you sneak out to meet him at night even if the weather's absolutely shit and you find time to talk to him during breaks and classes. Why--why don't you need me like that?"

She couldn't find the words, but she wanted so desperately to have him know how much she needed him. Hesitantly, she moved closer to him, her heart breaking a bit less when he didn't move away, and placed her hand over his fingers curling over his palm. "You think I don't need you? God, James, I do, I need you so much you have no idea. But Severus, he's my friend. And he needs me, you have to understand that--"

"Why?! Why does he need you so much and why do you assume I don't you need you, as well?" The air around them was thick and laced with tension. James held Sapphire's hand tightly in his, as if thought the answer would come to him physically. When he saw she wasn't backing down from her original statement his hold loosened. Painfully, he let her hand go. watching it fall limply to her side. He let out a bitter laugh when she opened her mouth, cutting her off, "Don't bother. Don't bother at all. You must think I'm such an idiot to have fallen for your games twice to have fallen for you twice."

---

Sapphire held her inner cheek between her teeth, her arms wrapping around her torso in an attempt to warm herself and do something with her hands. Her eyes were drooping bags evident underneath them. She didn't get a blink of sleep after James left her, and how could she, when everything she'd known fell and scattered.

Alice and Lily heard of their fight and didn't speak a word about it. Well, Lily didn't even look Sapphire's way, but Alice tried her best to get her to open up. She clenched her fists in anger as she remembered the dirty look Lily had given her the previous night and she felt furious at how the redhead thought she had any much of a say in Sapphire's love life. Not only was she one of the biggest factors in Sapphire's insecurities, Lily was being a brat about the whole situation and acting as if her cousin was the spawn of the devil. It didn't take a genius to know Lily was jealous, and that only fueled Sapphire's rage toward the redhead- finally, the table had turned.

She knew she should beat herself up even more for standing in front of the portrait of Salazar Slytherin on a Sunday morning, the hallways void of students, giving the painting of the former headmaster a weak smile.

"I've come to see someone. I need you to call them for me." Her words were barely above a whisper, so much so the headmaster dramatically rolled his eyes and told her to repeat herself. She waited for ten minutes in the deserted hall before the painting moved and a familiar body came in shot.

Severus looked less tired than her, though she didn't need to look farther than his dark eyes to know how exhausted he really was. He was dressed in Muggle clothes, something she'd never seen him wear before black skinny jeans black shirt and his house tie. His hair was down to his shoulder, black seemingly painted lines covering a part of his face. He put his hands in jean pockets and leaned against the stone walls and looked at her quizzily.

Sapphire sighed, moving on the pads of her feet. "I'm not here to apologize, so we can set that straight." Her eyes watered when a small smile played at his lips and he nodded, his hair further hiding him from her.

"I didn't think you'd apologize, either," He cut her off. "Before you say anything. I just want you to know that I've thought a lot about last night. I know why you're mad and, although I don't see your point. I recognize your anger."

"Oh. Well," she stuttered, fingers playing with the ends of her jumper. "That doesn't matter anymore. I mean it does matter, a lot, just a bit less now. I. James and I we're done. I think. No, yeah, we are done."

Severus' eyes noticeably widened, taken off guard. "Why? Wait, don't answer. Just hear me out. I know I was an ass yesterday, I shouldn't have treated you like that. I was mad, I felt betrayed, I do feel betrayed, still. But I care about you. I guess. You're my friend and I want you to be happy. So if it's with Potter you want to be, then who am I to stand in your way?"

Sapphire was caught breathless and wordless once again, not knowing what emotion to decipher first. She was so confused and tired of all of the events that occurred altogether. She was emotionally drained, the feeling of confusion and heartbreak never leaving. She felt happy that Severus understood her happiness, but what was the point? James made it clear he didn't want to see her, ever again. Her head was whirling.

"Wow. Okay, well, I need a drink. A strong one," Sapphire whispers, looking down at the stone- covered ground. "So, what now? You're not going to start ignoring me, too, right?" Minutes of silence passed before her eyes teared up; Severus didn't need to talk for her to understand him. Yet again, the heartbreaker was heartbroken twice in the span of two days, and there was nothing she could do about it. Wordlessly, she nodded her head, moving away from the portrait from Snape, from a broken friendship.

She couldn't believe her luck; her absolutely unwelcome luck. Her smile was sour as she walked away from the dungeons, the bitterness of the occurrences burning holes through her soul. Or better yet what's left her soul Sapphire knew that Severus wanted to do what he thought was right, but that didn't make the pain any more dull With tear- stricken cheeks the purple- haired beauty found herself walking towards the Owlery. Maybe there was someone she could talk to and would understand.