Dalliance

Seven

My vision was blurred and the lights were harsh. My head felt as though a hammer was continually nailing a spike through my brain. My skull felt crushed and there was a single high pitch note piercing through my ears. My tongue was heavy like lead and my mouth completely dry. My lips were so chapped I could taste droplets of blood on them.

I brought my knees close to my chest and hugged them. Pain shot through me and I gasped in surprise. My entire body hurt from all the Love that was pushed through it and it aches for more like an addict for one last drop of liquor. Squeezing my eyes shut I let the memories of us course through my mind racing to the next neuron to display happiness and then more happiness. Images of your smile and laughter until finally the last image I saw of you, bitter tears and sour words clung onto you. The taste of sludge lay on my tongue as I recalled you calling out to me.

I rock back and forth in my cell of shame as I recount the times you called my name, even to this very day.

I let you down. And if I had the chance, I would have let you down all over again. I truly hate myself for what I became and though you have no right, I humbly ask for your forgiveness for what I did next.

I wanted so badly to be the person you taught me to be. I wanted so badly to be a Halcyon. My hair was half red and still changing. I was in the stages of transformation. Once completed it takes the pure will of a soul to change back. I knew it was wrong but the drug of Love was too strong for me, it was already I. My veins pumping to every inch of my body.

I just needed one more pulse of Love. I just needed one more and then I swear I would've been done with it. I could have changed had I been given more time. At least that's what I told myself.

I pulsed myself with Love. I let it run through me freely. I was in so much pain, Halcyon. I hurt so badly and I just wanted so much to be numb. I just wanted so much to feel nothing, to forget it all. I hurt. My entire body hurt. Everything hurt. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to cry. I just hurt. And I just didn't want to hurt anymore.

I could hear the walls laughing at my weakness. The shadows dancing in circles like I was a human sacrifice. I suppose I was sacrificing myself for myself. I let everything go in that moment. Inching closer and closer to the line, growing bolder as I reached the point of no return.

I laid on my back, the cold damp cement pushing against me. I couldn't help but smile and laugh, tickled with myself. I ran my fingers through my hair and felt the static of it all. Colors became more vivid and exciting. I couldn't help moving my legs around, squirming on the pavement.

The door opened then and a Devotion walked in. She watched me make a fool of myself. She watched me look stupid. She smiled and turned to walk away. She paused at the door as if debating with herself until finally nonchalantly she said, "You will be pleased to know, by tomorrow there will be no more of the old ways. The last of the Halcyon's will be gone and the Devotion will come out of the darkness."

I know you don't remember anything. The deal was everyone was reset back to their original state without any knowledge of their true identity. The hope is that we can all live in unity. It breaks my soul to know people have gone back to living for themselves which is why I have to make you remember. It's up to you, Halcyon, to start the movement. To remind the world to live for others, to be a servant and to not listen to your heart! The heart is deceitful above all things! Who can understand it?

Remind the world Halcyon. And if you can find it in yourself, I beg of you to forgive me because what I have to tell you next is how I killed you with my own two hands.

If you stop here I'll understand, if you decide to continue, you may not like what I have to say.

Authors note:
Hey readers! Tell me what you think! What do you like and not like? And please vote so I know I should continue!! Thank you all so much!