Dalliance

Sixteen

"What the heck is wrong with you!" I screamed. I threw the book across the room. It bounced off the wall with no satisfaction of release for me.

There was so much anger and hurt trapped inside my soul. I could feel the wrath seethe beneath my skin. These books were useless, they were filled with nonsense that didn't matter. I was so tired and frustrated beyond belief. My heart felt heavy with so much sorrow and grief.

What if I never see you ever again? What if I never save you? What if everything, the war, the pain, the crying, what if it was all in vain?

What if?

I slammed my fists down on a stack of books flinging them across the room. I picked the books up one by one throwing them as hard as I could screaming after each and every throw. I ran to the stacks of books ripping them off the shelves and projecting them against the walls of the library. I opened the drawers of desks thrusting them into the air, flipping the desk on its side.

I turned around to see Judge standing at the door. He leaned against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest. He smirked at me with his black eyes piercing through me. His hair was pulled back into a tight bun that sat on top of his head. He still wore a crisp white suit.

"What do you want from me!" I screeched.

Judge smiled shaking his head, "You still don't get it? You've read every book and you still don't understand?" He kicked a book in my direction.

"Why am I here?" I yelled.

"We've already been through this."

"No! Tell me what I'm doing here! Now!"

"You do not tell me what to do!" Judge yelled and the books shook falling all around me. He straitened his jacket fixing his sleeves, "Be a good imbecile and figure it out."

I rolled my eyes at him but he was gone. I threw another book at the door.

You walked into the room then. You stood so tall and proper with your hands clasped in front of you. Your head was held high. My breath caught in my throat and I choked out my surprise.

"Are you really here?" I asked stunned.

"Why do you ask?" You said.

"Because there's a high possibility I'm hallucinating."

"I am really here."

"What happened to you? Where have you been?"I took a step towards you but you didn't move.

"I'm only here to help."

"But what happened? In the court?"

"I'm only here to help."

"You've said that already." I knitted my eyebrows walking closer to you. You were acting so strange. I reached out my hand to hold yours but it went through your body. Perplexed I asked, "What the heck? I thought you said you were really here!"

"I am really here."

"What are you a broken record? What is this? I want answers!"

"I'm only here to help."

"Stop it! What's going on?" I slammed my fist against the wall by your head.

"I'm only here to help."

"And who are you here to help?" I sneered.

"The cause."

I rolled my eyes slapping my hands against my thighs, "Great." I walked over to the desk I flipped over resetting it and leaning against it facing you. "What about the cause?"

"You are reading the wrong book."

"Awesome. I've wasted all this time reading the wrong books. Just freaking awesome!"

"You are reading the wrong book."

"Stop this! Where are you?"

"I am dead."

I stood there shocked. My heart began pounding frantically. I couldn't breathe. I shook my head slowly biting my lower lip trying to focus on an object.

"Dead?" I whispered.

"I am dead."

"Yeah I got it the first time." I pushed myself off of the desk walking around you, "So, how are you here?"

"I'm only here to help."

"Why do you repeat yourself?"

"I am dead."

"Is that all you know how to say?"

"I'm only here to help."

I bit the inside of my cheek trying to fight the urge to throw the rest of the books off the shelves. "Okay, okay." I took a deep breath letting it out slowly, "You're here to help. I need help. Let's start over." I looked over at you but you stood there staring at me, "You said I'm reading the wrong book?"

"You are reading the wrong book."

"Okay great. What is the right book?"

"You are reading the wrong book."

"Which is the right one then? Is it in the fiction? Non fiction? Biographies?"

"You are reading the wrong book."

"This doesn't help me!"

"I'm only here to help."

I stared at you with tears in my eyes, "I miss you my old friend."

Silence.

"I really thought... I-I really thought I was saving you." I let the tears flow.

"I am dead."

"I know. I killed you."

"I am dead."

"I'm sorry." I cried. As soon as I blinked you were gone.

I kicked the book near my foot. It was black with gold lettering on the cover. I peered at it curiously. I couldn't read the writing. I picked it up dusting it off. I flipped the book open.

And then I blacked out.

Author's note:

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