Summer to Forget ✔️

34

As soon as I stepped unto our house, I looked for Dad's presence.

"Auntie!" tawag ko sa kasambahay namin. Naramdaman ko namang nakasunod si Czesar sa akin. Dala iyong ibang bagahe ko.

Kakarating lang namin galing sa aming mahaba habang flight, kahit na pagod ay hindi ko pa rin maisawala sa isip ko iyong anunsiyong may sakit ang ama ko.

"Ate!" tawag ko ulit nang walang ni isa ang sumagot sa tawag ko.

"Ga, how many cars are there in the garage?" I asked him despite of panicking I managed to deliver it soft.

"Four. Tito's car isn't there." he answered and I muttered him thanks.

Our three helpers we're all not here. They must be out with Dad. Nang wala talaga akong makita ni isa bahagya akong kinabahan hindi dahil nakabukas lang ang bahay na walang tao kung hindi dahil pare pareho silang lahat na wala rito. Even if I feel my knees wobbling, nakaabot ako sa kuwarto ko at agad na napaupo sa kama. I can't help to feel nervous and afraid. Ilang minuto pa ang nagdaan bago ko tuluyang nakausap si Czesar ng matino.

"Are you going to stay here for awhile to rest or you will be heading home now?" I sincerely asked. Ayaw ko namang makadamay ng tao dahil lang sa kinakabahan ako.

And the fact that I knew that he was as tired as me, I would dare to order him just to be with me. Being together does not validate me to control my partner. After all, we have our own lives to live.

"I am staying here until they'll return home. But for now, let's call Tito to make sure that he is well." He gave me that idea na halos ipokpok ko ang ulo ko dahil hindi iyong pumasok sa isip ko.

I must be really nervous and overthinking that I never thought of another choice.

"Oh damn. Thanks." I looked for my phone and saw it inside my bag. I was hesitant to call the twins to inform them but I chose the latter.

Ayaw ko na rin silang mag-alala pa.

And thankfully, Dad answered the call and told Czesar that he was on his weekly check up but his voice sounds so weak. So I mouthed him to ask if how is he feeling.

"I am getting weaker each day, nak. I don't know how to say this to my children." iyon ang huking sinabi niya bago ko pa napigilan ang sariling sumabat sa usapan nila.

"Dad? Nasa bahay na ho ako, hihintayin po kita." mahinahon kong sabi sa kaniya at pinatay na kaagad ang tawag.

Our conversation with my father after he went home that day were full of tears. We both planned to tell the twins once they got home but we failed to tell them when Bella went missing after a week since we got home from Switzerland. It's been a year now since Rawl started to look for his family but every month he got can't find them until one day, Dad died. I was so down that time that I have to close the studio just to deal with my health. Czesar was there but there were times that I had to make him leave because they have a concert to prepare.

And also on the same month when Dad died, we lost our first baby. It was really our family's downfall.

The three of us were basically not earning good for a year now so we had no choice but to manage the ricefield, the three of us.

I sighed and tried to stop my tears by looking up before I could start a word. I don't literally know how to start. "We should break up." it was almost a whisper when I said those words. I can't feel any strength in my body. All I wanted was to lay in my bed 24/7.

"No." matigas niyang sabi.

I faced him. "We should."

"Break with your sadness instead and focus."