The rest of the day I felt miserable.
I heard some noises from Emerson's apartment, like he was lifting furniture of something. And all I could feel was pain.Was I a bitch? That I didn't even let him explain? I should've listened to him. Give him a chance to explain himself.
I kept thinking about how he looked when I opened the door. He looked drained, exhausted. And I wonder what could've happened to his brother that bad that he had to go with that urgency.
I felt bad for him. I felt bad at myself.
So I stood up from the couch, from the misery I was feeling, and wrote a note on a post it
ONE MINUTE
And just when I was about to leave it at his door he opened his. He looked surprised to see me there, leaning at his doorstep.
"I...I was leaving you a note" I said embarrassed.
"Me too" he said smiling as he raised a note that saidCHINESE?
We both looked at each other smiling.
And time froze. Oh god I've missed him so much. My inner self wanted me to just throw myself at him.He snatched the note from my hand, read it and then said
"So just one minute?" He said with a smile and hopeful eyes.
"Just one" I said smiling
"Ok but we'll order Chinese after" he said
"That depends on what you're about to say" I said.He took a deep breath then said
"My brother was in prison" he said
"What?" I asked surprised.
"Yeah, he got into big trouble, he call me when I was getting to the bar that morning, and I left immediately,I wanted to call you from the airport but I lost my phone, I didn't had your number, and then I got caught up trying to get my brother out of jail" he said, then he started to get closer to me "I know you must be mad, Andy, I'm a jerk, I know, but on my defense there wasn't a single moment that I didn't think about you when I was there, and I know you must be mad"
I stood quiet listening, processing what he was saying.
"I want to make it up to you, please, give me a chance" he plead with hopeful eyes."Look Emerson, I'm going to be honest with you, you know how you ask me a lot why am I scared of you?" I said and he nodded
"Well, I'm not scared of you, I'm scared of what you make me feel, like you said the other day you have a lot of power over me, and that day I let myself go, I opened up to you, letting all my feelings out, giving myself to you, I trusted you, and when you where gone I was crushed, I felt like my world collapsed and that's the power you have over me, so I buried my feelings at the back of my mind and put up a wall" I said.
"So I can give you a chance, I can do that, but just as friends" I added.
"Andy please don't" he said desperate
"Emerson, I can't feel that way again, I'm not in control of myself when I open up my feelings like that, and look where it got me" I said honestly
"Andy, I have those feelings too" he said
"Please Emerson, don't make this more difficult, that's my final decision" I said.
He grabbed his head in desperation.
"I don't want to be friends" he said almost shouting then added "Not after what we did, after what we felt the other day" he said the man added.
"I know you felt it too, we belong to each other and you know it" he said desperate as he grabbed my hand. I took it from him as I said.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't" I said firmly.
"Please just... I didn't call you because I didn't had my phone" he said powerless.
"I know Emerson, I know, it's not about that, it's not because you didn't call me, it's because what I felt when you were gone, I felt things that really scared me" I said.
"Like what? What things?" He asked.
"Like... like.. like I couldn't breathe without you" I said honestly. And I felt tears coming down my eyes but I stopped them.
He stood there shocked.
"So no, Emerson, I can't open again to you, at least not for a while, so I offer you my friendship for a while and then we'll see" I said firmly.
"Ok I'll give you time, we'll be friends, but promise me that you will try to trust me again" he said showing a little bit of hope in his eyes.
"I will" I said.He sighed defeated.
Then he changed his expression and said smiling
"Chinese?" And I nodded.
——————————————————
A/N:What do you think about this chapter??
Hope you like it and vote!
YOU ARE READING
Quarantine swipe
RomanceBEST RANKINGS #1 best seller #10 online dating #20 Covid-19 *************************** Fucking virus. It has all the world upside down. And I was in a dark place thanks to it. I lost my job, I was having and existential crisis, nothing to do...