if by chance | ✓

02 | hello, crapbag

[ 02 ]

C O R A

✦

"Cora! You've been toying with that fork for like, twenty minutes!" My mother shoots me a death glare which she usually does everytime I am inattentive towards food or my work and it immediately sends me a signal that I need to eat and not procrastinate.

"You need to relax, Iris. Let her eat slowly." Dad offers, taking a sip from his wine glass.

"Stefan, you're really spoiling her." Mom shakes her head and I decide its better to shove the pumpkin pie into my mouth than attract more trouble.

Besides, I don't want her to start again on me going to Spain alone ─ clearly, she wasn't over that yet no matter how many times I tried to convince her that I was with the nicest of people there.

"Are you thinking about tomorrow? I mean, you look anxious." Noah asks from the seat beside me.

"Keep your voice down. And how do you know I'm anxious?" I roll my eyes at him.

"Duh, just the twin thing." He snickers.

"But we are fraternal!" I argue and he gives me his classic you-are-being-stupid-now look. So I decide to shut up and continue chewing like a moron.

"Noah, look after your sister. Make sure she doesn't do stuff she shouldn't be doing." My mother says, getting up and collecting the plates.

"Actually, mom, it's the other way round. Noah's a baby!" I retort.

"Hey!" My twin scowls at me, earning a sigh from my dad (who, in my opinion, is the best father in the entire world).

"Now both of you, get to bed early. And you!" Mom looks at me with her tired periwinkle eyes, "I'm still annoyed with you. Please don't give me another reason to worry."

At that moment, maybe for the first time, I feel so massively guilty that I wished I could go back in time and change my plans. She has been worried sick when I was out of reach for hours while I was travelling to Barcelona (which she didn't know of and thought I was in trouble). I don't blame her ─ she had told me when I turned thirteen, that she had me at a really young age. So whatever she's doing, it's perhaps the best she can, and I respect her for that.

"I'm sorry mom." I mutter softly and she nods.

"Goodnight kids. Stef, will you please help me out here?" Mom says before moving over to the dishwasher.

✦

Riley fills me in with all her summer stories while Nathaniel and Amber continue to bicker down the hallways. It's a drill, I was all too familiar with this yet, this was what I was waiting for, through out the holidays.

When we reach the lockers, Amber comes up to me, looking a little dazed, as if she almost feels guilty, which she never does even when she breaks the rules (quite proudly).

"What's up? Oh ─ is this about the guy you're crushing on?" I quirk up an eyebrow.

She clears her throat, scanning the vicinity before lowering her voice.

"You're the only one who knows. Please keep it to you." She says with pleading eyes.

"What's the matter with you? I mean, who is this guy? Now don't give me that look, you got to tell me right here, right now."

"Cora, I don't think this is a good idea." She sighs.

"Huh?"

"It's Noah." She whispers and my eyes go wide in shock. It takes me some moments to process the information in my brain before I could speak again.

"Noah as in my twin, Noah?"

"Yeah, look, I'm sorry. I know it's never gonna happen. It's just that, this summer we spent an awful lot of time together, since you were not around and I got this stupid crush on him. It will go away, I assure you." She shrugs.

"Amber, you know he is into boys, right?" I ask as if to reconfirm.

"I know! And that's why I feel so embarrassed ─ " she pauses for a breath, "and stupid."

"Hey relax, it's gonna be fine. I'm sure you'll meet the right person ── oh hello crapbag, watch where you go!!!!" I yell as a certain hazel eyed boy interrupts me mid-sentence, stumbling right into me with all his books spilling out of his arms.

"I'm sorry, um, I am super late for class. Oh shit, where is my essay paper?!" He freaks, rummaging through his books as he kneels down to the floor to pick them up.

"Creep." I mutter under my breath before strutting away with Amber in tow.

The whole situation was more complicated than it seemed. Noah came out about two years ago when a girl had tried to kiss him at a Christmas party. He completely freaked out, scaring off all his classmates and it resulted in a lot of chaos. I vividly remember him trying to explain himself but nobody actually getting him because they were all drunk and high on hormones.

Maybe it's the 'twin thing' as he likes to call it, but I understood. Noah was terrified. Terrified of being bullied, being laughed at and being disowned by society. But luckily enough, people here at White Oaks University don't really care. All that matters, is keeping a near-perfect GPA and excelling in all aspects of life.

Every person in our friend circle have been truly supportive of him. And him being gay was never a problem but today when Amber stated his name as her 'crush' ─ she just kind of took me by surprise. She had known me and Noah since we went to middle school. And all three of us had chosen to attend White Oaks, which is an in-state university. Noah and I wanted to stay close to our family.

And in case of Amber, she had no choice. She had to look after her grandparents while her parents worked out of town. Her brother, Archer had won a scholarship to White Oaks based on his impeccable skills in music.

But what never happened back in high school, happening in college ─ I mean, how am I supposed to handle this? I can't let my brother know. Neither can I hide it within me for long.

"What are you thinking?" Riley asks as we seat ourselves in Professor Smith's Cognitive Psychology class.

"Nothing. Are you free after lunch? We need to talk."

✦

a/n : in case you haven't noticed, i re-edited the first chapter, changing 'school' to 'college'. simply because i think it would be easier to write for me since i am in college now. happy reading!