if by chance | ✓

15 | to kiss the stars

[ 15 ]

C O R A

✦

"So how's therapy?" I ask Nathaniel who is currently seated beside me on a chunky log of wood facing the camp. I gaze at the sun slowly drowning itself amidst the soft lilac and pink clouds, making the sky blush.

Nathaniel Amherst, my next door neighbor and guy best friend since kindergarten, has been on therapy for over a year now. He was apparently improving, although you can never predict things such as OCD.

"Great. I am still learning... to control myself." He sighs, running fingers through his slick side parted hair.

"Mhmm. How's your dad?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

Nathaniel's parents were divorced when he was seven years old. His mom remarried and at present, Nathan lives with his dad and a nanny. The panics attacks and the obsession to clean had started when he turned eight. Back then, we were too young to fathom mental health issues. Naturally, nobody talked about therapy until last summer when he had a major breakdown at a college event.

Hence, the counselling.

"He's dating someone from office. That's all I know. Can we talk about something else?" Nathaniel suggests, fidgeting with the twig he held in his hands.

"Anything you want to talk about? Whatever makes you happy." I smile, playing the role of mom friend.

"Amber." He blurts out, taking me by surprise.

"Amber?" I repeat.

"Uh, I meant she was waving to me from the tent." Nathan smiles nervously, his cheeks flushing crimson.

I sensed something was up between him and Amber. It didn't go unnoticed how Nathan and Amber had taken a break from the usual bickering. They seemed, distant. But the idea of asking him right now was moot. So I change the topic instead.

"Alright. Uh, I'm going for a walk, you wanna come?" I ask, getting up to feet and brushing the dust off my denims.

"No, I'm kind of sleepy. We're leaving early tomorrow right?" He asks, straightening up. The hollow of his eyes were proof he wasn't just giving an excuse. I don't push.

"That's true. I'll just go alone then." I say before softly jogging away towards the cliff.

We were leaving Sydenham at five next morning and this would be probably my last chance to have the place to myself. My last chance to sleep under the stars before diving back into the immense pressure of the semester incoming. The intensity with which I dreaded college now was ridiculously contradictory to my high hopes back in highschool. Soon, I were to drown in assignments and essays and group projects.