Just A Nerd

Chapter Thirteen

LISA

Time flies.

Jennie and I have become so closed gradually. I don't feel uncomfortable anymore, being near her. Jisoo and Rosé also love seeing us that way.

I love every moment I have to spend with Jennie, but the thing is that the high school year is about to come to an end. As it was said, time flies when you are happy and satisfied. One time, you are just laughing and talking and being surrounded by someone you love. In a blink of an eye, it will fade away.

It's fate.

It's called 'life'.

You can't expect to be happy all the time, otherwise, it will hurt you when reality hits in.

I can't win it, and I won't lose it by pretending that I don't love Jennie anymore. For the past few months, I show her my affection, which is unusual of me. I shower her with the only thing I have: love.

Obviously, there is nothing much about me to give her, but she's happy about it. The girl is delighted that I finally open up to her.

Sitting under the tree with one book in my hand, I look straight to where Jennie, Jisoo, and Rosé are. They are talking happily while Mino still walks beside them. The man is still into Jennie, apparently, but Jennie makes sure that he can't get near her than she wants.

As soon as Jennie's eyes catch me, she literally bolts to me. "Lisa, I am finding you!" She shouts, having arrived in front of me, panting heavily. "You're always finding me if you don't know." I reply, laughing at her clinginess. She always texts me even if I am working, and studying. It's not that I am complaining, though because she always makes me smile no matter how exhausted I am.

It always makes me wonder why she cares for me this much, sometimes.

As if on cue, she answers with a cute pout. "It's because I love you." She comes to sit near me, placing her head on my lap, not caring the fact that a few pairs of eyes turning our way weirdly. Some are from confusion, or disgust, or jealousy, or even curiosity, but Jennie never cares, and I learn to be like her.

"I love you too," I smile, mumbling.

She frowns, looking away. "But you will never agree to be my girlfriend. And, you spend too much time with a girl called 'Yeri'." Her voice becomes sour when uttering my friend's name.

"I never say I love her, Jennie." I brush her hair off her face, admiring her beauty, and wonder how comes a girl can be this perfect. Her smile, her attitude, her beautiful thoughts, her kindness, and all the things that belong to her are flawless.

"Whatever." She pouts looking away as Jisoo and Chaeyoung walk to us. Since I become close to Jennie, the four of us are always together most of the time when we are at school, and they are so considerate and thoughtful friends I have ever had.

They know how I feel about hanging around the places that I can't afford, so they choose somewhere that I can go without discomfort.

I love all of them.

I know that no matter where I go in the future, what university or college I will be attending, I will never forget them. Never will I get new friends that are so understanding like them. I can't help, but feel sad about not meeting them again.

I get out of my gloomy thought by the voice of my best friend. "Jennie, I never think that you are the clingy type." Jisoo teases as her girlfriend pinches her playfully, but the girl whose head is on my lap now doesn't pay attention to her friend's tease. She's still annoyed by the fact that Yeri and I still go home together. "Come on, Jennie. Don't be sad. I promise I won't choose anyone besides you." I lean down, whispering the last part into her ear, my breathing tickles her as she blushes.

"What were you telling my friend, Lisa? Look like, she turns from the grumpy old woman to a teenager with red cheeks faster than I have thought I could do to Jisoo." Rosé laughs along with her girlfriend while Jennie trying to hide her blush more with both her tiny hands.

She peeks through her fingers, signaling me that I must not laugh or else she will kill me or something because she is still embarrassed about her shyness. I lean forwards, hugging her head against my stomach, making sure that she isn't suffocated.

Our friends come to sit beside us as the older one asks, "Lisa, you seem strange to us these past few weeks." Jisoo is so sharp in terms of observing people, or maybe she just knows me well because I am her best friend. The answer to her question is I don't know why, but the closer the year comes to an end, I feel like I drift away from them.

All of them have their ways. They will go to the same university in Seoul, expectedly that I would do the same, and it's far more expensive than I have thought as I did a research one time after they told me their plan. I lied to them that I would work and get into the same school as them, but I couldn't lie to myself that I couldn't afford it even if I work more or my aunt works more, and I can't pressure her for telling her that I want to go to study at that university.

I also checked one more thing. There's no full scholarship there. Even if it changes after I graduate, or if I have the opportunity to not pay for the full tuition fee to study there, the place is too far from my house, and I couldn't afford the things, the technology I need to have to be there as a proper student. I know I think too much, but I am not delusional.

I don't fit there.

"I am alright. Just a little tired from work."

Jennie pulls back from my hug, looking at me with adoration as she tries to hide something that I hate to see—pity.

The last thing I want from her is a pity.

If I want to be her significant other, at least I need to have something equal. I need to have something that could make her live a good life. I can't be selfish enough to have her stay low because of me.

"I am okay." I assure her again.

"Stop working for a while, Lisa. We have only got two more months before our final. Then, we can be a college student altogether. My parents won't control me anymore if I pass the entrance exam of that damn university, and I am sure you will, Lisa. You will get a scholarship, and we all will be adults. We can do whatever we want by then."

I smile along with her.

I lie both to her and myself that we will be together, and I am not sure anymore.