Just A Nerd

Chapter Five

LISA

"Jennie." I shout as I see Jennie running to the corner of our school, a place where everyone is gathering there when the time is up or to cover from heavy rain when the downpour happens.

I sigh when she continues to spring away from me. This girl can be stubborn sometimes, I know especially when she is mad, and right now mad is the right word to describe her mood. The fire in her cat-like eyes showed anger and distaste when she turned my way before she left the class.

I was really crazy at times. I always think this way when something like this happens. I am the one who intentionally said something loudly to provoke her to make her stop her motive of doing something related to me, but Jennie isn't what I have thought she could be when she is angry.

Taking a few deep breathes, I take several big steps and run faster, stopping right in front of her. When she tries to escape, I stand still, not giving up. She turns away, wiping the liquid from her face. Her sweat.

How about if that is her tears?

Fuck!

I don't know how to deal with tears. I have never seen her cry before, not this time, please. Well, it must be her sweat, coming right from her eyes. Fuck you, Lisa!

Don't think.

She then angrily looks at me, her eyes bloodshot. "Why are you here?" Her face shows no emotion. It's worse than I have thought to see her with this inscrutable expression.

"I saw you running outside. I think you might have...uh...p-problem." I smile. I bet you a hundred dollars that the smile I am wearing is so damn awkward to the point where it's like a crying face or something. I do not have that much money with me, and I am sure I will win. That's why I bet.

She scowls, "My problem. You have nothing to worry about,"

"You are my, well, c-classmate. I-"

"Yes, I am. I am just your classmate. You shouldn't worry much. Go back to the class and learn and do whatever you want I don't care. Just don't stay in front of me for another second. It's suffocating." She finishes with an exaggerating sigh.

Ouch!

It's a lie if I were to tell you that it doesn't hurt me. It's painful, hearing that my presence makes her feel that way. It hurts a lot, but somehow, I couldn't be sad or bitter about that because it's all I want. I am in denial. Even though I know she likes me in some way, in a friendship way or whatever, I don't want that. Because one way or another, I will be the one who needs to leave, and I hate being the one to leave. Leaving means you are not enough, or you are the problem, and I'd rather be the problem now, not in the future.

Because I have got to learn that, the longer you stay, the harder you are able to leave. It's ridiculous, but it's painfully true.

I am not expecting her to pull back from reality and be with me like we are the same in every possible way that a couple or at least a friend could, but I really can't. Hopefully, you understand. Hopefully, she understands.

"I am sorry," I mumble, swallowing my pride. She already hates me. So, no need to pretend to be a cool and arrogant nerd anymore.

"Why?" She asks suddenly. Her voice becomes harsher.

"I am sorry if my words make you...mad." I finish within a breath. I don't know I have held it for too long since the first sentence of our conversation.

She scoffs, "Since when did Lisa Manoban give the fuck about my feeling, huh? As you said, I am just your classmate, so my feeling is not your worry. Go away,"

"Alright," I turn my heels, walking back to the class. She doesn't need me here, and I have said my things. I shouldn't be here anymore.

A step.

Two steps.

Then, "Lisa Manoban!" Suddenly, I hear her voice calling my name with an angry tone. What's wrong this time?

I turn back to see her closing and opening her eyes in a way to calm herself down. The thing she does whenever she tenses.

"Huh?" I bite my lip, anticipating her next outburst, but her next step makes me taken aback. She flings herself into my arms, clutching my shirt tightly as if her life depends on it. Well, it's cliché, but it's what she is doing right now. "Jennie." I tap her shoulder slightly. "What's going on here?"

Her face snuggles into my chest, exhaling and inhaling loudly, still not releasing me. She's being impulsive. What should I do at this moment? "Jennie." I tap again. "Please." I panic when I feel my hearts beat loudly, and the problem is there. Her cheek is right on my chest. I pull her back, but her grip becomes stronger.

"Jennie!" I shout again. Luckily, nobody is here. If it were a break time, I would be in a limelight right now, having this beautiful girl from the school hugging me. "Jennie, please." My voice trembles. I am about to have a panic attack right now. Then, she finally gives up, pulling back while wiping her tears and giggling like a child. What the fuck!

"I am just borrowing your shirt to wipe my tears. You act like you are about to faint or something. Your heart beats so fast." Her sentence widens my eyes. She shouldn't know how I feel for her. What should I do? How should I-

"Calm down, Lisa. Your heat is up now. Your face is flushed. Is something wrong?" She laughs even more while touching my forehead as I brush it away. "Nope. It's so hot right now. Let's get back."

She then brings my pinky to entangle with hers, "Today after school, we will have a coffee? You don't need to pay me, and I don't need to pay you because I have a coupon from my friends. I will be waiting at 'Couple Coffee Free Love' in front of our school."

When I hear the name of the café, I almost choke. Who the hell has their café named this repulsive? I am about to open my mouth when she cuts me off. "If you come, your apology will be accepted. And, you must come because if I have to wait forever, I will do."

"Jennie!"

Well, she disappears into our class now.

Lisa, what have you gotten yourself into this time?

Look like, you have fallen more and more into this rabbit hole now because your fucking heart won't stop beating so fast anytime soon.