Just A Nerd

Chapter Eighteen

JENNIE

"What took her so long, Rosé?" I ask impatiently, looking at my phone a hundred times for the last hour now, waiting for my dear best friend's girlfriend to come and eat together.

She can't blame me for pissing off at Jisoo, though because I haven't eaten lunch yet. I was so damn happy when she asked me out to have dinner here, our favorite place, but I haven't thought that she sometimes can be a late freak.

Jisoo has been so weird since this afternoon when she invited us to our favorite restaurant. Not to mention she asked me to wear my most beautiful dress and do my makeup. In fact, she wanted me to be drop-dead gorgeous for just eating dinner. What's weirder than that is I am not even her girlfriend, and Rosé seems to be okay by that.

Yeah, you heard me. She wanted me to dress up and do my make up just for a dinner tonight.

Make up for what and who, you might ask?

Well, I don't know either. She even threatened me not to ask Mino, my boyfriend to come with me. Two years ago, they knew my decision that I chose to let someone go completely, and I am sure they didn't feel good about that, but they didn't say anything.

I am happy that they finally accept Mino and I's relationship now.

"Maybe, some traffic jam. I guess," Rosé smiles softly, sipping her wine a little more. I sigh, "Traffic jam? I think Jisoo should learn to be more punctual if she wants me to dress up in this short black dress even without my boyfriend here. What is the problem with her? I don't really get-"

"Rosé?" My voice cuts off when my best friend's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets when looking behind my back. Her mouth opens wide, and her eyes still do not blink even once.

I glance back to see Jisoo walking normally with a wide grin on her face. She wears a black suit like the businesswoman she is. I wonder why Rosé gets really shocked and-

As soon as my eyes turn to the person beside her, my voice, my body, everything that belongs to me doesn't seem to work anymore. I can't utter a single word even though I feel Rosé's hand on my shoulder. I know why she was stupefied now. The sight is beyond handling.

Even though I want to be strong and run away from this world in this very second seeing the person I don't expect to see and never thought that there will be the return of her, I can't do anything, but my tears have their own way.

I have no idea when I cry, but my face is wet already. Bad for Jisoo, she wants me to be beautiful for this person. Eventually, everything clicks now.

The black dress I am wearing.

The make-up I have done.

Everything is unconsciously done for her rather than my boyfriend.

Why was I so stupid not to think about it?

Jisoo seemed so weird, and she's the reason why. I wonder how calm or angry she was when she first saw her best friend coming out of nowhere.

As they came nearer, the sight of her becomes clearer. She seems taller, toner, better in every aspect of her life. Her black pants, which by the way, look so good on her, a loose white blouse, and black jacket scream richness, and success. There are no big glasses on her face anymore. No sight of the girl I saw when I was in high school.

This woman is much fancier, much sophisticated than her.

She changes in a better way.

I am not the reason.

That's why she left.

I stand up, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible. I have no right to be here anymore, nor have I had something or anything to say. There's nothing to be sealed anyway.

"Rosé, I am leaving now."

"But-"

I don't listen to her, and gathering my purse, preparing to leave as fast as possible. I am afraid that if I stay longer, I would yell at her, hit her, punch her, and do everything that might lessen my pain when seeing her again.

As I turn around, a hand clutches my wrist. I swallow hard, looking up to see the big eyes I used to love. A smiling face I used to adore, and everything I used to love. Suddenly, everything around us seems to disappear as I look at her for the first time since she ran away without telling me. Well, she might think she didn't run because she just chased her dream. Nothing is wrong with it.

But.

She destroyed me along the way.

I hate myself for missing her innocent touch. I hate myself for wanting to throw myself into her arms when in reality she didn't miss me even a bit.

"I miss you." As if she can hear what I have been thinking, she mumbles softly, pulling me into a tight hug as I am still in my own fantasy. I don't believe that she's here.

And, if she is here, I'm afraid that everything is late now.

I gather my strength, pushing her from me, wanting to get away from here. From everything that belongs to her, including her scent, her body, and her voice.

I miss all of them, yet I hate myself for it at the same time.

"Jennie, I-"

"No need to explain. I don't want to hear anything of it right now."

"But I-"

"Stop!" I shout, not caring that everyone is looking at us now. If they want, they can. I don't care. "You don't need to say anything. It's okay now. Everything is okay now. You can't just come back, hug me, and expect me to be some silly moron out there to forgive and forget easily. I am not that stupid..." Mumbling the last sentence, hoping that she doesn't hear, I lie.

I was stupid.

I was waiting for her for all days.

I was crying almost every night.

When she takes a step forward, I take two backward. "Don't follow me." Then, I bolt.

I might not be stupid now, but I am a coward.

I am afraid that if I stay any longer, I might want to touch her, hug her, and kiss her more than the person I should do it to.