Just A Nerd

Chapter Forty-Four

JENNIE

Six months.

Six months that I haven't seen Lisa.

I don't want to sound pathetic, but my life went upside down since she left. The day I went to the hospital just to make sure that Mino was okay, then I would be back to her was when I really realized that my life will be meaningless and worthless without my purpose.

Never have I known that Lisa would leave me like that.

Everyone knows where she is, and I know it. I just don't want to force anyone to tell me something they don't want to. No need to force anyone to do something they do not fancy of, right?

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about this half of the year. After three or four months, I gave up trying to know where Lisa is. It's not that I don't miss her, or whatsoever. I miss her so much. Actually, I use all the times I have mostly to work, and besides working, I would reminisce about our past and all the faults I have made.

I know I have got problems, but the solutions aren't found easily, and I am so sure of it. Everything is so complicating and complex. Lisa is away, and Mino is awake. It's not that I am not skeptical about his accident. I just do not want to think about it. Whether I believe Lisa or not, it doesn't matter now.

I love her.

The problem is I need time to tackle the problem between Mino and me first. I feel like I owe him a lot. That's why I felt the need to go and look after Mino for the last time at the hospital, but when I came back, everything was gone, including Lisa.

She is gone until now.

Actually, I can feel her presence now and then. However, I never see her or anything.

Well, it's not something that she wants, right?

She runs away from me again. This time, it's my fault I know. In fact, it's all my fault, technically. I am that selfish toward the person I love. It serves me right now.

I am out of my thought when I feel someone knocking on the door to my office.

"Come in," I look down at the paper, not wanting to discuss anything with anyone. But, when I hear the steps, I know who it is before glancing at him.

Mino comes in, carrying a box of lunch. "I know you haven't eaten anything yet. I bring this for you." He smiles, putting it on my desk.

"I am not hungry now."

"Huh?" He frowns, "Your assistant said that you haven't had any breakfast yet. You should eat more. Look at you," He sits across my desk as I exhale loudly. "I am sorry. I know I act like a bitch to you even if I know that you just recover."

He places his hand on mine, "That's okay. I know you have a hard time with her. Jennie, if I find her, I will drag her back here. You need to get divorced, Jennie." He says in a serious tone as I scowl in response. "Why would we?"

He laughs as if I am joking. "Huh? Because we love each other. When you break up with her, we can be like before. In fact, we would marry as soon as possible. I can't wait to give you the happiness you deserve, Jennie."

"I don't want happiness. I don't deserve it." I look down at my laps, avoiding his gaze.

He raises my chin up with his finger, using his long arm. "You deserve everything. The one that doesn't deserve anything is Lisa."

"No. That's where you are wrong, Mino. Lisa deserves everything; she is a good person. The selfless person I am used to knowing." I look at Mino. Flame in his eyes, he states loudly. "Am I missing anything here, Jennie? When I was in an accident, don't tell me you grow the love for that girl again."

I close my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. "I never stop loving her. I am just confused, Mino. I am sorry for all the pain that I inflicted on you. I know you are not deserving it, but I really don't know how to stop loving...her."

"Despite her leaving?" He asks, his tone gets smaller.

"Yeah. Despite everything, I still love her. I wanted to hate her before, but when I know what she has been through. I can't. In fact, I love her more..."

He stands up instantly, "I can't believe it. How about me? Anything besides pity you want to say to me. I love you since high school. Been with you since there. Any love left for me, Jennie?"

When I don't respond, he storms toward me, grabbing my wrist. "Anything?"

My tears fall, but I just remain silent.

"God, Jennie. I am so stupid. All these years, am I just a puppet that is following you around?" He exhales. His breath hot against my face.

I turn away. "I am sorry. I just I can't love anyone else besides–"

The next thing I know is his lips against mine. He forces himself on me, and I gather my strength to push him away. Then, my anger explodes. Not with him, mostly. With myself. How can I be that kind of person? How can I use him to forget someone I know I would never forget?

The kiss has me realize that no one can replace Lisa. Without her, I should always be alone.

"I am sorry, Jennie. Can you give me another chance, please?"

I sigh, "Mino..." I grab his face, brushing the unconscious tears from his face. "Can you stop loving me?"

He shakes his head rapidly as I smile softly at him. "Mino, you know it's hard to forget someone you love very much, right?"

"She doesn't love you anymore." He retorts.

"I know she still does, Mino. Please, I know you hurt, but you can't talk bad about her like that. However, even if she doesn't anymore, I am sure I can't...forget her. I will always be her wife even if she...has someone else."

He brushes my hand away from his face. "I understand now. You don't love me anymore. In fact, you never do. I myself am stupid. Crazy. Stupid. But, if I can't have you, do you think she will have you?"

I widen my eyes in shock. "Don't hurt her. If you touch her, I will..."

"You will kill me?" He scoffs, anger all over his face.

"Yes, I will. But not you, as much as I hate you for that I will never kill you. But, I will kill...the person who started all of this mess."

"Who?" He asks, but then the realization hits him. "You will kill yourself? I can't believe it." Then, he storms outside my office as I slump on the chair heavily.

Tragically and sadly.

At this moment, I realize that I lost everything.