Just A Nerd

Chapter Twenty-Five

JENNIE

Waking up to being hugged by a person I used to love very much, I stunt because of not knowing how to react. Not to mention the fact that she's against me with the warmth of her skin and my almost naked body now makes me tremble.

I wore only undergarments now.

It only means...

She took off my bathrobe. My face burns, thinking about it. I want to yell at her for doing that, but I have no energy to do so.

Besides, it's two o'clock in the morning now.

What can I do?

I am a little hangover due to my low tolerate of alcohol, and it's not like she has done something to me besides helping me getting out of my bathrobe.

And.

Fucking hug me.

I sigh, trying to close my eyes again, but the figure behind me clinging to me too much that I can't breathe normally. "Lisa."

"Lisa!" I shout, causing her to sit bolt upright. By looking at her face, the sweat coming down, I know she has a nightmare. If we were like before, I would go to hug her, comforting her. Now, I don't know what we really are besides the fact that we are married, and I had a boyfriend. She broke us up.

When our eyes meet, she looks pissed as she walks to the bathroom without uttering a word.

Fifteen minutes later, I feel a hand on my waist. A face against my neck. I squirm away, but her grip tightens. "Don't touch me."

She doesn't respond, still not releasing me. When I try to brush off her hand, she bites my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Don't make me do something that we are supposed to do tonight," She whispers sensually against my ear. She blows her breath on it, which is already wet from her saliva.

Disgust.

And.

I feel so hot right now all over my body, but I count to three to calm myself down before turning to her. As I face her, her eyes close, but her arm brings me closer. Our body against each other. Me in my red lacy undergarments, which I am stupid enough to wear, thinking that would make her amused enough to laugh it out and walk away or show her that I extremely hate her so that it would turn her off me instantly.

God, how am I so stupid to come up with this idea.

It takes me a minute or so to realize that she doesn't wear her pajamas anymore. She is currently in her black sports bra and some shorts that exposed her long legs. I take a glance at her abs before turning away instantly. Lisa really changes. Not only mentally, but also physically.

More confident in herself.

More lean and fit.

I close my eyes before uttering. "Please, don't do anything that you know you will regret."

"What thing I know I will regret, huh?" I don't expect her to answer, but she really does after a while.

"You know what I mean."

"Open your eyes."

"No."

"I will kiss you if you don't." My eyes are instantly wide open to see her chuckling for the first time. The genuine one that reminds me of the nerd in high school that I fell in love with. Her smile and innocence are nostalgic. I glance away. I am afraid that I remind of her too much that I might forget her faults.

"Why don't you want to look at me?" She asks after a while.

"Because...I hate you. I don't want to see you, hear you talking. You know that, and you still did that to us." Some parts are true, and some are just my pathetic lies. I am everything but hate her. How can I hate her when I know my heart would betray me if I say so?

Her eyes show pain but blink it away instantly. She doesn't want to show her vulnerability anymore. She embodies the confidence, and the badass now. She's not someone I knew before.

"Do you think I care? Look Jennie, I think you already understand this. I get what I want, and now you are mine whether you want it or not. If you escape from me like in the-" She shakes her head, sighing heavily before gripping my shoulder a little harsh for my liking. "You won't go anywhere with anyone."

"You are a monster. I don't know you." I try to fight back my tears from seeing her smirk, her being indifferent. If she were my Lisa, she wouldn't talk like this to purposely hurt me.

She hugs me again as I don't fight back. I know I won't win. In fact, I am already lost. She gets me without my consent. "I hate you..." I mumble against her shoulder as she embraces me tightly. "No, you don't."

"What are you doing?" I ask trembly feeling her slender fingers on the straps of my bra. She laughs devilishly as she whispers. "If you say you hate me one more time, I will do anything I can do to make you love me."

I pull back, pushing her with all my strength. She leans back a bit, looking at me. "You won't win, Jennie."

"I know. But, I won't let you win easily. I want to make sure you suffer-"

"You want to see me suffer?" She asks, cutting me off. Silence engulfs us. Her question stunts me. Do I really want her to feel my pain? All the suffering that I have been through...

Looking up at her, I do my best to put on my dead serious face. She needn't know that I still care. That I still have some nostalgia from the past embedded in my memory. That sometimes when I was with Mino, I betrayed him. I missed her. Even the time I broke up with him. When he kissed me, I still fucking missed this monster. I couldn't give him what I intended to give him when we went to Hawaii.

I don't want to tell her anything.

That I want to see her change to the one I loved...

That Mino had left me before our last holidays ended.

I want to hurt her and to show that she can't get my body nor my soul when we get married. Eventually, my pathetic self can't ever forget her despite all the things she has put me through.

Then, my tears fall. I can't fight anymore.

Who am I to be able to stop my tears at this very moment?