If you looked at us from the outside, we look like the perfect family. But I’m not a part of it, I’m just the babysitter who Louis kisses occasionally. I get it, they need bonding time, but I just kind of feel a bit left out, you know?
And that makes me feel selfish because Josh and Louis need father son time... But I just kind of wish that I could be a part of their family. Sure, Josh loves me, he loves hanging out with me, he loves my cooking, he loves my company... But he doesn’t think of me as a mom, not that I’m expecting him to.
I’m not his mom, I know that. But with all of this hate that I’m getting...
I had a vision of Louis and my future; getting married, going on our honeymoon, then having kids. But instead it goes; Louis has a kid, I don’t. And now I’m unsure of what I want...
I feel like someone third wheeling on a date, except instead of a date, I feel like I’m intruding on quality bonding time for them. Which is why I’m currently lying on Niall’s couch, where I slept last night.
I didn’t tell Louis because I know he’d just argue, but when they were curled up watching a movie, I snuck out and came here, and now it’s morning and I guess they fell asleep while watching or something.
“You want to come down for the breakfast buffet?” Niall calls out from his bedroom, and I think he’s changing. He just got out of the shower I think (well, I heard the shower running a bit earlier).
“Nah, I’ll just go out to eat a bit later,” I respond, scrolling through twitter.
He’s not your son, bitch. I knew Julia and I know she doesn’t want a whore like you replacing her in her sons life!
y the hell do u bother tryin? louis doesn care bout u anymore hes too busy with his son 2 think about u
“Stop reading that stuff,” Niall scolds, coming out of his room and struggling to get his shoes on.
“I’m not reading anything,” I lie, putting my phone away.
“I saw the look on your face, Jess,” he shrugs.
I sigh, nodding slightly, “I know I should stop but it’s like a drug or something, I just can’t.”
“Well try not to. You know they’re all just jealous fangirls,” he attempts to convince me and I fake a smile.
He frowns even more so I flash him a genuine smile.
“Niall, I’m fine,” I state firmly and he hesitates before leaving to get breakfast.
I throw my phone onto the other couch to reduce the chance of me reading the tweets. I know myself and I know that I would much rather stay here than get up and get my phone.
Closing my eyes, I let sleep overtake me some more.
“Jessie?” Louis’ voice wakes me up from my dreamworld and I look over at the clock on the wall. I’ve been asleep for three hours.
“Mm?” I hum, closing my eyes again.
“What are you doing?” He questions and I feel the couch dip as he sits down by my legs.
“Sleeping,” I say in ‘duh’ tone.
“No, I mean, in Niall’s room,” I finally open my eyes again to see him frowning.
Sitting up, I intertwine our fingers.
“I love you,” I start, kissing his knuckle, “And I love Josh. But you two need some time to bond.”
“We can bond with you there!” He protests, pulling me onto his lap.
“Lou, I’m fine. You two need time alone and so I’m just going to be staying with Niall for a while,” I shrug.
“How long?” He asks, placing a lingering kiss on my forehead.
“Um... A few weeks?”
“Weeks?! Hell no!” He freaks out, looking at me as if I’m crazy.
“I don’t know, I think maybe a bit of time apart will benefit both of us in some ways,” I try to explain.
“What are you talking about?” By now he’s let go of my hand and is scoffing at me as if I’ve just suggested that I move to the moon or something.
“Boo, it’s just for a while. I just think that you’ll get time with your son and I’ll get time... With myself,” I fail at explaining my logic.
“Why do you need time by yourself?!” He panics, hurt flashing in his eyes.
“It’s not you-”
“Oh don’t give me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit,” he growls, practically shoving me off of him and standing up.
“What the fuck, Louis, listen to me!” I shout out to him as he begins to walk away.
“What?!” He snaps.
“I’m not breaking up with you and I think you’re being way too dramatic right now! All I’m saying is I need time to think things through,” I sigh.
“Think what through? Our relationship?” His angry facade falters slightly.
“No! God no, I love you, Lou! I need to think things over about my mom and about all of this... You can’t expect me to just forget everything you told me,” I state.
“I thought you were okay with it! You even babysitted him!” He points out.
“I found out my boyfriend had a son six days ago! Of course I’m okay with it, and it’s not like I need to think about whether I’m breaking up with you or not, I just need time to collect my thoughts and make sense of it,” I says softly.
“So what, we’re taking a break?” He pouts.
“Wha- No! Stop assuming things, I’m not leaving you, we’re not ‘taking a break’, I’m just staying in Niall’s room,” I laugh slightly, “It’s not that difficult to understand. I’ll see you every now and then, I’ll wish you luck before shows, I’ll even sit with you on plane journeys and when Josh is with someone else I’ll probably end up pouncing on you and-”
I rant on but he cuts me short, “Pounce on me?” He begins to laugh hysterically and I blush, biting my lip.
Rolling my eyes, I move closer to him, “Yes. But anyway, as I was saying- Wait, where is Josh, anyway?” I suddenly realise, looking around the room.
“Oh, Dani and Liam are babysitting him for the next two hours,” Louis nods.
“Okay then, I guess that means I should pounce on you now,” I say stupidly but he just laughs even more.
“I guess you should,” he chuckles, and I literally jump on to him, giggling as he laughs. I crash my lips onto his, the butterflies in my stomach going crazy.
How does he still have this affect on me?
“I’m back- Oh hi Louis,” Niall walks in on us and I pull away, bursting out laughing at Niall’s expression.
“Hi Niall,” Louis grins lopsidedly before pulling me towards him again and connecting our lips.
“Ew,” Niall grimaces, walking to his room.
I hold up the middle finger with my eyes closed, still kissing Louis, and hear Niall chuckle slightly.
“I love you,” he mumbles against my lips.
“I love you too,” I respond, our lips moving in sync.
I really do love him, even though he got a girl pregnant, left her when the baby was born and then had to take him in four years later when she passes away...
Everyone makes mistakes.
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Half A Heart
Fanfic"So you're saying I'm being kidnapped by two members of a boyband?" I raise my eyebrows at the two creeps. "Exactly." "I feel so special now," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “We’re not kidnapping you, we’re just... Borrowing you,” Harry s...
