His Magic - Magic Kaito

38. Feelings are Confusing

1022 Words excluding (A/N)~ I no own MK/DC~

Written December 28 2020
Posted January 18 2021

NEXT UPDATE is on February 1 2021

Things had been nice lately, Yozora had really been enjoying the last few days living in the hotel with Kaito and Shinichi. They hadn't touched her without her permission, and what touches there were hadn't been sexual at all. It was odd, almost surreal. She'd grown up with the expectation that she would never have a choice when it came to her own body, so actually having a choice was almost daunting.

Yozora was kinda thankful that she was basically confined to their hotel room for safety reasons. She already had so much freedom even here that she knew that she wouldn't know what to do if she'd been allowed to roam outside. There was just so much to the world, it seemed never ending. So she was content to snuggle up in a pile of pillows, browsing the amazing thing called the internet.

She'd known how to read a bit, so with the combination of voice controls, having things said out loud, the dictionary, a thesaurus, and Shinichi or Kaito's help she was going along at a decent pace. Yozora was still nowhere near able to go at the insane speeds that they could when it came to browsing, but she was still learning things at a fast rate. More than her mother had been able to teach her at the very least. There was only so far that explaining without good references could get you.

It still hurt to think about her mother, but she hadn't cried as much as she was supposed to. According to the internet she should be crying and feeling depressed, she shouldn't be feeling the happiness that she felt about being free. She'd loved her mother, her mom had been awesome and had always done her best to help her. So why wasn't she more sad?

"What's with the sad sigh Yozora?" Kaito inquired, looking up from the files he'd been going through. Contact tracing was a pain.

"I don't know why I'm not as sad as I should be about my mom's death. I'm not crying enough" She fiddled with the iPad, her gaze downcast as she spoke.

Kaito frowned "Everyone feels sadness differently" He himself had been a distraught wreck when his own father had died "You've been really busy learning lately, I doubt that you've thought much about it right?"

The girl nodded "Yeah, I haven't been thinking about it much" There was so many better things to think about that didn't make her chest hurt.

Indigo softened "You're made of much tougher stuff than a lot of people due to how you've lived so far. You can still feel sadness but your ways of expressing it are probably more subdued" His fingers curled around the edge of one of the papers, bending it "You were usually punished for crying, so it's normal for it to be harder than usual for you to actually cry"

"But I cried on the first day I was here" Yozora sighed, heart feeling heavy. So why hadn't she cried again?

"You did" The magician agreed softly "Your mother had just been killed and then you were at the mercy of the two strangers who'd bought you" He offered a small smile "You were overloaded with so many negative emotions, I said that it was probably harder, not impossible" He forcibly flattened the piece of paper that he'd bent "You feel much safer now, so you're more calm" He tilted his head, eyeing her curiously "Do you feel horrible whenever you think about her death?"

Yozora gave a hesitant nod "Yeah, I don't like how my chest hurts, so I just go on the iPad to distract myself" It was an uncomfortable feeling, and it was scary when she thought about it too much.

Kaito grinned "That's proof that you're sad about it, avoidance is something I'm very talented at" He went back to bending the paper "The internet doesn't always explain things properly and often doesn't give enough information when it comes to things like feelings" Feelings were too complicated to just easily search up, there were just too many variables.

"You shouldn't sound so proud about that" Shinichi drawled as he removed his raincoat, a small puddle forming near the door. He'd left to grab some more food and supplies. Kaito had used a lot of his supplies up when he'd rigged the iPad to bypass the crazy firewalls and barriers that North Korea had. The iPad was completely untraceable and therefore wouldn't put their mission at risk "It made you such a pain to deal with in the beginning" Kaito was still a pain, but much less of one than before.

So she was similar to Kaito in that way? Yozora tilted her head, confused "Does that make me a pain to deal with too?" She didn't want to be a bother.

The sleuth spluttered "No, Kaito's an ass when he wants to avoid things" An evil hellion that's not afraid to use whatever's in his arsenal to get away. Shinichi offered Yozora a small smile, ignoring Kaito's indignant refute "You're more behaved"

"You're always the one to leave to do things though, leaving Kaito as the one to watch me" She must be hard to deal with too. That wasn't good.

Kaito snickered, amused by the girl's conclusion "No, I'm just the more social one out of the two of us" So even here Shinichi's poor social skills are hindering him "I'm better with kids so we both felt that it would be best if I interact with you more" He paused, grinning "Awkward silence is something you don't want. He socializes best if you're a criminal, part of law enforcement, or he's talking to a witne-Ow!" The magician rubbed where he'd been smacked on the head "See, instead of using his words he whacked me" Kaito pouted.

"It's not like I hurt you" The sleuth countered, face red from embarrassment "Not everyone is freaky good with people like you are" Kaito could easily turn those against him into friends, if they were good people. He turned towards Yozora "We felt it was better since Kaito has a knack for making friends" It was hard to truly dislike the magician.

Me: So Yozora is utilizing the internet... 

Hope you enjoyed~

... I use a steak knife whenever I need a knife, unless I need a butter knife.

Sometimes when all the butter knives were dirty, I used a paring knife 0.0

That's bound to bug someone someday ^~^