Wildfire - H.S

54

My heart is pulled apart with each agonising word he speaks. But it's only the last three that I need. I feel sick, and lightheaded and I can't breathe. I can't breathe properly.

He's not sorry. He's not sorry that he went and slept with another woman.

All this time, I was falling in love with him and he doesn't even have the decency to apologise. Why would he though? We were already broken up, I guess. And like he said. He's not sorry.

The three words keep playing on an endless, torturous loop. I'm not sorry. Three words could have changed anything. Everything. I guess it was a toss up between who caved first, my 'I love you' or his 'I'm not sorry'.

It's better I suppose. That he spoke first. You know, it'd have only made me look even more idiotic, when I tell him that I'm so in love with him that I no longer care about this soulmate crap - because it's him, and only ever will be him. Wouldn't have been too good I guess, not when all he responds with is how he's not remotely sorry that he had sex with another girl.

"Get out." I don't allow my face to falter as I whisper, barely above my breath because it's all I can manage. I need him gone. I can't let him know how much this is killing me on the inside.

The tears continue to flood from his eyes and I don't understand it. Any of it, because it doesn't make sense. He's telling me he's not sorry, yet every inch of his body is screaming remorse. Why else would he be sobbing like this. I've never seen him like this and it's making it all that much harder for me not to cry with him.

Maybe he's not crying for me. Maybe it's for him. His reputation. After all, cheating on your girlfriend can't be all that good for publicity.

"No." I almost don't think I heard him right. He can't seriously be refusing to leave.

"It's over between us Harry. You don't care so-"

"I never said I don't care." He's quick to cut me off. I inhale a deep breath, my hand touching at my eyelids, feeling how heavy they are, how much pain behind them there is.

I'm staring right at him. The boy I fell in love with, yet I don't recognise a single thing about him. Because I refuse to believe this is the same boy I fell in love with.

"So what, you care about me? But don't care about this relationship enough to apologise." My voice is thick, the emotion threatening to burst through me at any undeniable moment. But the anger in me is currently overpowering the hurt.

"We don't have a relationship any more Evie, you made that clear yesterday when you broke up with me." Harry crawls closer to me and I can do nothing but sit here, frozen with disbelief of this whole situation. This cannot be my life.

"A relationship isn't always romance Harry, our relationship, whether we could have ever been together or not, is now ruined. Completely and always, because of you and your decisions and your words." My words are harsh and my voice cold. But it's exactly how I feel. And I know I'm right in saying it, I just wish for once, I was the one who was wrong.