We're Classic Hysteria// Awsten Knight

29- You Know I'll Always Be Around

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR SELF HARM/SUICIDE

-Aria's POV-

We flew back to LA and met up with Chloe and the kids at the hospital. I let Awsten go in and say his goodbye.

He came back out with tears streaming down his face.

"I was sitting next to her when she flatlined. I don't wanna stay any longer" He spoke and I got up and hugged him close.

"Give it a few minutes and let them do what they need to do and then we can go okay?" I spoke and he nodded

About an hour later they gave us all the official information we needed and we headed down to Awsten's moms to give the news.

"Hey mama" Awsten spoke as we walked in and she just looked at us.

"Shouldn't you guys be in Pennsylvania?" She spoke and I sighed, letting Awsten do the talking.

"Yeah, but we're here, because we actually have some bad news" He spoke as he handed her the last of Gracie's stuff that hadn't been claimed.

"What happened? Is she alright?" She spoke and I wanted to breakdown so bad.

"Mama, she's gone. She flatlined in the hospital this morning, surrounded by family. It's alright" Awsten spoke and she broke down, I went and held them both close.

"She asked me to tell you not to forget about her, that she'll always be around even if just in our hearts, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna continue touring, we're gonna come back, get married, she also asked us to not make a big deal out of her death, so no big funeral service. I'll post about it and we can deactivate her twitter. It's all gonna be okay" He spoke and she calmed down.

"Okay love. Have fun on tour" She spoke as we left. We caught another flight to pennsylvania and had the bus pick us up when we got there. The minute we got back on the bus awsten tweeted.

@/awsten: hey all. I'm not gonna be logging off or anything like that but I do want you guys to know that after a long few months of back and forth, medications, and constant problems, my sister passed comfortably in the hospital late this morning, sending love to my family and my close friends who held her as close as I did. All my love, Awsten.

-> @/clusterstan: can people please stop dying :( I hate seeing Awsten sad.

I was done being unproductive, I had now almost a weeks worth of photos to edit, but first I needed to check on everyone else.

Chris being first. He was acting all types of weird when we got back, and I wanted to make sure he was okay.

I found him sitting outside on a bench near the bus.

"Hey, it's been a minute since I've seen you. You look upset. What's wrong?" I spoke and he just shrugged before speaking. 

"It's Ronnie, something happened to her the same day something happened to Gracie." he spoke

It was then that it dawned on me. I had been so wrapped up in worrying about Awsten, and Gracie, and my kids that i didn't think to notice anyone else worrying.

"You wanna talk about it?" I spoke, not really knowing what else to say.

"My mom had went to go see the twins, and help out a bit, and she noticed cuts on her arm, and that they had reopened. Ronnie fainted and was taken to the hospital, she had lost a lot of blood. But she is fine. She had to have stitches. And my mom has been with her ever since" he spoke and was balling by the end of it.

I hugeed him and just sighed.

"I'm so so sorry. That sounds absolutely terrifying. I'm also sorry I didn't ask sooner. I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't think about it" I spoke, now feeling like a kinda shitty person knowing that I had asked them to cover the shows we missed.

"It's ok, you had your own issues to deal with, but i have been thinking about getting a separate tour bus for Ronnie, the kids and I. i miss all three of them." he spoke 

I sighed, knowing how insanely tedious that would be since we were constantly traveling.

"We'd have to talk to our tour managers, because funding stuff like that gets super expensive but we'll just have to see. Hopefully they'll let you. It'd definitely be nice to see ronnie and the kiddos" I spoke and he nodded, we talked for a little while longer before I wandered off to find Geoff.

He was on the phone with Chloe so I decided to leave him be.

"Wait, Aria come back!" He spoke and I went back over to find that my children were actually eating, with no struggle.

"Chlo, how the hell did you do that?" i spoke and she laughed.

"I brought out the chocolate milk" She spoke and I laughed.

Of course she did.

I checked on everyone else pretty briefly before going to find Awsten.

"Awsten, hey it's me. Can I come in?" I spoke and he opened his bunk curtain, his face was tear stained and he was looking at old photos of him and Gracie.

"It's just not fair" He spoke and I pulled him close.

"I know baby, I know. If it makes you feel any better Chloe got the kids to eat with no struggle" I spoke and he just looked at me shocked.

"No way. How?" he spoke and I giggled.

"Chocholate milk bribe" I spoke and he laughed. I pulled out my laptop and started working on the photos while Awsten layed in my lap.

He wound up falling asleep there, but he needed the rest more than I did.

I finished up the UK Graphic and dozed off myself, they were announcing the UK tour tomorrow, as we were about 2 weeks away from finishing up the US tour and heading home for Christmas.

I was awoken in the middle of the night by Awsten's soft sniffles. I got up and pulled him close.

"It's alright baby, cry it out. I know"

-Awsten's POV-

Losing Gracie was one of the worst things to ever happen to me, let alone the fact that I was now being bitched at by our tour managers because someone had asked for a second tour bus.

I was stressed out, I missed my kids, and I was seriously struggling. We were going home for Christmas in a few weeks, we'd spend a few days at home and then head to Vegas for our wedding, then spend a week or two in Vegas before heading to the UK. it was a lot to handle, but I was working through it.