College trip is an annual trip Juniors and Seniors take to go visit various colleges within Idaho, Washington, Montana, and Utah. Of course I signed up because I desperately needed to be away from home for two whole days. I was excited. I wanted to go see the two colleges I had been dying to see since we did a college project in sophomore year. When class was finally over, I happily walked out of American Studies. It's four o'clock and yes, I hate being home, but I hate that class just as much. I only had to survive the weekend, and on Monday we'd leave for the trip. As I cruised down the hallway, I saw Danny sitting in the back hallway. He never sits in the back hallway, which is my red flag to let me know something's wrong. I walked closer to him and we make direct eye contact. When I look into Danny's eyes, they aren't the same bright eyes he's always had. They're all red and tearful and filled with pain. "Danny, what's wrong?" Danny looks away and tries to hold back his tears. "I don't-I don't know." He stutters. "Is it your parents?" I ask. Danny usually only talks about three things to me and our friends-video games, his family and his current girlfriend, Lacey. Danny shakes his head. That means if he's crying like this, it can only be one other thing. "Is it Lacey?" He pauses and begins to cry again. His reaction answers my question. "I'll give you some time. When you're ready, I'm here." He smiles a broken type of smile at me as I get up and walk outside to walk home. Deep down, I'm pretty thrilled they broke up. I've always hated Lacey. Not because I'm jealous-there's no way I could be jealous of someone who looks like a fish and pretends to be all that. Lacey may have been a total bitch to me in middle school for just being...Andy, but that's not the reason. No, I hate Lacey because I know Lacey isn't good enough for Danny. I knew she would break his heart. Danny deserves so much better than her. And today was only proof of my theory.
Monday morning finally came around. Danny and I along with some of our friends, Zax, Nate, Alex, Naomi and Sara all got on a Salt Lake Express bus to go on the college trip with some Frontline peers. The first stop was Brigham Young University-Idaho. While walking through campus in the cold, late October air, I noticed Danny was still off. He was not the Danny I know. I figured I talk with him about it a little bit. "So can I ask what happened?" I asked Danny as our tour guide and our peers walked through a garden. "She said that there was too much pressure and she wants to be friends and then try dating again." Typical Lacey. She does this too all of her boyfriends once she gets bored with them. I honestly didn't know what to say. What was there to say? All that managed to come out of my mouth was, "Well, that's gay." Still noticing his soppy mood, therapist Andy kicked in. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked him in a smooth tone. "No, but we're just gonna pretend like I am." I knew that was going to get him in trouble. I should know, I've done that my whole life. "Well, I'm always here." I say to him. We continue walking around the school trying to talk about something other than Lacey. Anything other than Lacey.
Later that day, we sat on the bus and listened to various 2000s music such as music by Britney Spears, Avril Lavigne and more. I just laid my head down on the head rest of the seat and closed my eyes, vibing to the music. "Hey, are you okay?" I heard someone ask next to me. I look over and there sits Grace, Brooke and Alix all looking at me with concern gleaming in their eyes. "Uh, yeah, I'm chillin'." I lowkey kind of panicked. I didn't really know what I was supposed to say. "Why do you ask?" "Oh, you just looked really sad and stressed, so we thought we'd help a girl out!" Grace said gleefully. Maybe it's just my resting bitch face, who knows. "Oh well, yeah I'm good." Out of nowhere, Brooke dropped a bomb on me without any warning whatsoever. "You don't have friends on this trip do you?" I did a double take. I looked in the back of the bus where Danny, Zax, Nate, Naomi and Sara all sat jamming out and having a good time together. I looked back and the girls and shook my head sadly. "No, not really." It's not really the fact that I didn't have friends, it was more of the fact that I didn't want to be a burden. Their attitudes and aesthetics are different than mine. Plus, Danny needed time with people who could help distract him. I'm not much of a distraction if you really think about it. "How would you like to spend the night with us?" My heart kind of skipped a beat there. These girls were like the chill, stoner type girls that had such a perfect energy. That definitely isn't me. But why not take the risk? I had nothing else to lose. Plus, now seemed like a good time to step outside of my comfort zone anyway. What's the worst that could happen?
We went shopping together that night and even went to dinner. We slept in the same hotel room too. I liked them. I liked who I was with them. I've spent her entire high school life with boys and now I'm branching out to high school girls. They hated all the same people I hated, liked the same things I did, and I even felt comfortable talking about girl stuff without feeling awkward about it. After talking all night, bonding, playing games and having a good time, things got a little serious. "So Andy, you ever smoked before?" I froze for a hot second. "Like...like weed?" the girls looked at each other, then me. You'd think I was a fucking comedian the way they laughed at what I just said. Brooke, finally taking a breath said, "Yes Andy, weed" "Oh well...I haven't no...but I've always wanted to try." It's true. I have. The reason I never did was because I was told that I wasn't allowed to drink or smoke with anyone outside of family and even family I didn't trust. "Would you wanna try?" Alix offered to me in a soft, convincing voice. I raised my eyebrow and really thought about this. I could feel myself getting really bad mentally. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to finally try it on my own terms. Maybe, just maybe, it could help ease the pain I feel every minute I'm home and every minute time ticks closer to the time I have to go home.
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Why Fools Fall (Rewrite)
RomanceAndy made a promise in freshman year that she would never fall in love again. Soon in Junior year, Andy has her whole world turned upside down when a huge family secret is finally revealed. For comfort, she turns to her friend Danny, whom she's know...