Why Fools Fall (Rewrite)

The Truth Comes Out

"Yo, she's gone!" Grace joked and she looked back at me while I was laying in the back seat with my eyes barely open. Alix and Brooke looked at me too and laughed. "I think we just made her a stoner guys." Alix said with a smile creeping on her face. Of course, I had no idea what was going on because I was on the border between conscious and unconscious. I knew beforehand that if I got caught, I would put a lot at risk, especially college. At the moment, I really didn't care. The only thing I knew what that the car was moving....even though it wasn't. 

This kept going on every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon for about 4 weeks. I joked with Danny about it a lot. He's more of an alcoholic, but he thinks it's funny as hell when I'm high. I also started hanging out with Zax a lot. He always seemed to have some, given as how he had a lot of mental issues of his own. I don't blame him for using this as an escape, it's just sad how people like us have to cover things like our mental health up. Today, I smoked a lot. More than I was used to and more than I could take. I don't remember much of anything, and I didn't even fully know what I was doing during that time. I turned on my voice recorder app and recorded our entire conversation. They were definitely hilarious both during and after our conversation. There was a moment of silence for a second. I lost control, but my brain knew what it was doing. I turned to Zax, eyes droopy and almost unconscious. "Hey Zax, I have a secret." Looking back at me as he mirrored my appearance, Zax mumbled out all of the words he could. "What secret is that?" I smiled a very blank smile and slowly blinked. "Wait till I tell Danny" 

I stumbled over myself as I walked down 100 hall and approached Danny, who was sitting alone while playing on his phone. "Hey Danny, we need to talk." I told said, as my words slurred just a little bit. Danny looked up and me and paused and Danny being Danny, he stood up to take a closer look at my eyes and said casually, "Yep. You're high." He laughed and sat back down. Is it really that obvious? I thought to myself. Clearly it was. I sat down next to Danny and gave him a look that says I'm serious. Danny put away his phone and faced me and gave me the same serious look I'm giving him. "I really need to tell you something and I don't know why I decided to tell you now but-" "Because you're high." Danny interrupted. "Probably. Anyway. So..." I suddenly started to get nervous. I knew it was coming and being high didn't make it any easier. The feeling didn't go away but I knew being high was going to make it easier for the words to slip out of my mouth. My heart is pounding and I can feel my body starting to shake. "I've never said this to anyone but...since Freshman year..." I paused. I didn't know how else to say it. So I just...said it. "I hate going home. I'm afraid of being in my own house. I don't know who to tell but I need help. I'm glad I'm high or else I'd never tell you. But..." I paused. I took a deep breath as I looked into Danny's crisp green eyes. "My step dad abuses me. A lot. Physically, mentally and even...sexually" I exhaled sharply. I looked away from Danny because I didn't want to see the disappointment and disgust written all over his face. Danny paused and thought about it, but finally understood it. "Oh god." He said. He shook his head in disbelief. It finally clicked to Danny and then finally clicked to me as well. I stared at Danny while feeling like my body was on fire. It felt like I just ate a ghost pepper. Danny's head is resting on the cubby next to him and I just stare at him with fear coursing through my veins. The only thing that I could think about right then and there was, Oh shit. Now my friend knows that I'm being sexually abused since Freshman year by my step father.

A few weeks ago, Danny only knew of me. Since yesterday, he officially put two and two together and figured out everything. He figured out why I keep to myself. Why I refuse to disobey my parents in any way. Why I'm so anxious for college. Why I don't put myself out there. Everything made sense now. A few weeks ago, Danny just knew my name. Now he knows everything.

It was kind of an accident telling Derin. We were in American Studies and we were going back and forth talking about stupid stuff. Then he made an incest joke about me and my dad. He's always made those kinds of jokes to me, and they've always hit way too close to home, so I figured I might as well bring it up since Danny knows about it. I figured these "jokes" would only continue if he didn't know the truth. "Derin, do you know my secret?" I ask him. "You're gay?" He asked me. "No Derin. As much as you guys want me to say it, I am not gay." I tell him. "Did you fuck your dad?" He asked. I paused and casually said, "The other way around." He looks at me in confusion and while thinking out loud, he says, "Your dad fucked yo-" he gasps and his eyes got as big as saucers. He looked shocked and sympathetic at the same time. "ANDY!" he yells in shock. All I could do was laugh. I mean, the situation isn't funny, but his reaction was. "Is it like...yeet?" He asks me as he pelvic thrusts in his chair. As horrible as the situation is, I chuckled. "It's full yeet." I respond. He cracks up a little. "That's not funny, but the way you said that..." We both paused. "Andy, put his ass in jail!" He finally says to me. "It's not that simple Derin. I mean, I have siblings and my mom needs him and I can't do that to them" He still didn't understand. I didn't expect him to. I knew that it would take them a minute for them to comprehend what was going on, and I want to be patient with him and Danny, but I don't have much time left. My depression is getting worse. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can get out of bed on my own sometimes. I need their help and I need them to be quick. I can't do it by myself anymore.