Why Fools Fall (Rewrite)

The Day We Reported It

A week has passed.

Lately, I've been stressed and now the whole group of guys I hang with knows why. The girls don't know yet. We aren't that close. My head was spinning and pounding. My throat hurt. My body felt like it was going to collapse. I decided I needed to go home. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't do it. Usually, my dad knows better than to bother me when I'm sick. I went home and changed into my pj's and climbed into bed. My dad opened my door. "Hey come here, I have something for your head." he said. I followed him downstairs to the basement. That was my first mistake and I should've just ran instead. My head told me that it was wrong and something was going to happen. But I'm sick. I'm defenseless. He wouldn't hurt me right?

I smoked weed. I knew it was against my better judgement. Since I met Brooke, Grace and Alix, I had smoked with him twice. I never got high. It helped with my headaches, yeah, but I never got high. Never. This time, somehow, I did. He gave me some pills for the flu symptoms and then I went to bed. The pills were blue, and he said it was for nausea, but the pills weren't for nausea. I'm not sure what they were. I thought he was trying to help me. 

I've obviously been high, but this was different. I went unconscious. I blacked out. I've always at least been aware of where I am. What I'm doing, it's a blur, but I always realize in a delayed amount of time. Not this time. I was out. Had no idea where I was, what I did, or what happened until I woke up. When I finally came to, it was happening.

I hope you understand what I mean by "it" because I'm not going to define it for you.

I tried getting away, but I couldn't. He kept pushing me back. I tried reaching for my knife in my backpack, but I couldn't reach it. My voice was gone so I couldn't scream, all I could do was struggle and try to stay conscious so I didn't let it happen.

Hours later, I wanted to call Danny. I would've called him right after but he was in physics. Same with Derin, the other guy friend I have who's just as protective as Danny if not more. He was in physics too. I didn't want to call Zax because the chances of him even being at school that day were slim. So, I let it go. I decided that I would take this L and not bring anybody else into it.

Everyday since then, I've had panic attacks and nightmares.

The next day after the last incident, I was going to tell Danny. He ended up going to Burger King with his friends. I wasn't about to hold him back. So I kept it in.

A week later, I had to tell someone. Derin and I sat in the hallway and talked about it. I told him everything.  "You really need to tell Danny." he said. I knew he'd say that. "I know but I just...I don't know how." I told Derin. "The same way you just told me." "It's not that simple. He was so hurt over the fact that I waited two years to tell him it was happening, what's gonna happen when I tell him a week later about something that was my fault in the first place?" Derin smacked me lightly on the head. "It is not your fault." he said. I sighed. There's no way I'm gonna win this one.

"First of all, I'm a dumb ass." I stated. Danny and Derin were sitting on the other side of the hall as me. "Why are you a dumb ass?" Danny asks me. "Oh you'll see why." Derin said. I tell him the whole story from beginning to end. Danny looked hurt and confused. "I wanted to call you guys so bad but you were in physics and I didn't want to bother you." Danny rolled his eyes and smacked his forehead. "Andy, you are way more important" "Than Physics!" he and Derin yelled at me. Derin looked at his phone and said one thing that I never thought someone would ever say to me. "What day is it? Wednesday? You have until Friday to do something about this or we will." I was shocked. "I agree. If you don't report it, we will. And I don't care if you hate me or not. I'm doing this to protect you." I sighed. "Okay fine. I'll report it tomorrow." I paused. Damn it. I thought to myself. What did I just get myself into? I can't report this! I have siblings and would my mom even have my back on this one? Everything that could go wrong believe me, I thought of it. We were walking towards the back doors so Derin could take me home. Danny put his pinky up and said "Promise me that you'll do this. Promise me that you won't give up and you won't tell anybody else." I connected my pinky to his. "I'll go start my car." Derin says as he walks out of the door. Danny stares at me as I stare at the ground. "Hey," Danny says to me. I look up at his eyes and he looks back at me. "I'm sorry Danny." I say. "Don't say that. This isn't your fault. There's no way this can come back on you." I sunk my head to the floor. Derin walks back in with us. "You ready to go?" He asks me? I look at both of them. "Will you go with me?" I asked. "Of course. Are you kidding?" Danny said to me. "Of course we'll be there." Derin answers. "We're always gonna be here for you." Danny says. I take a deep breath and walk out of the doors.

That night I took advantage of the fact that this would be my last normal night of my life. 

Danny, Derin and I are sitting in the dean's office. "So what's going on Andy?" Mr. Williams asks. I pause. This was it. I had a quick flashback of my life and remembered that this is the last time I'll ever be normal. "Um...so you know how I have panic attacks?" "Yeah?" "Remember how I said that I didn't know what triggered it?" "Uh huh..." "I lied." We all pause. "It happens because I'm afraid of going home." "Is there some kind of abuse going on?" "Um..." I look to Danny who nods lightly. "Kind of" "Ok..." "My dad, he um..." I don't know why it was so hard, but it was hard. It was like trying to choke up a tennis ball. "My dad..." "Is it violent or sexual or something?" I begin to whisper stutter. "Se-sexual" I say. Taking in the blow, Mr. Williams leans back in his seat looking shocked. "How long has this been going on?" He asked. "Since Freshman year." I whisper, but say loud enough that everyone can hear me. "Its been a while then, huh?" I nod. I look over at Derin who can't keep his eyes off of the ground. I look at Danny who's staring at me. "I'm sorry" I mouth to him. He shakes his head and mouthed "No" back to me. I didn't know what to say or what to do.

The only good thing to come out of this was the fact that I got excused from all of my classes. At least the ones I hadn't gone to yet. The dean had me tell the principal, who had me tell the resource officer, who had me go to the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Center to tell the forensic investigator who had me tell an actual cop.

"How do you feel about calling your dad to try to get him to confess?" Officer Sparks asked. Thousands of emotions ran through my body. Why? Do I have to? Isn't there another way? God, no please! I wish Danny and Derin were here. "Can I make a call first?" I asked.

"Danny, I'm so scared" I sobbed. I tried so hard to hold my tears in. "I know, Andy. It's going to be okay." "I can't do this." "Yes you can." he says softly to me. "I know you can." I took a deep breath. How could Danny believe in me when I couldn't even believe in myself? "I'll call you after to let you know what's going on." "Hey" he says to me. "You can do this" I hung up and went back into the interrogation room to do the dirty work. 5 hours later, I'm still here at the DVSA center. Crying my eyes out. The police went to go get my clothes to get evidence, CPS is listening to my mom attempt to convince them that me and my siblings shouldn't go to foster care. My dad caught on and didn't say anything and it was all for nothing and I'm faced with the fact that this whole thing was my fault and I just destroyed everything.