Before She Knew

Chapter 31 - Funeral

Chapter 31

Today was the day. The day I got to dress in all black and mourn the lose of my friend. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to see her body there, lifeless. I wanted her to come home with me, alive. I was there laying in bed, realizing I didn't need to get up for 2 more hours. Niall lay beside me, his breathing regular. I couldn't go back to sleep, that was a unthinkable idea. I looked over at the Niall. The way his face was perfectly made, his eye lashes, the light freckles on his cheeks. He moved ever so slightly wrapping his arm around my stomach. He buried his head in my head and I sighed.

"What's wrong?" I heard him muffle.

"Death." He kissed my neck and held me tighter.

"Babe, you need sleep, come on," he said putting his hand on my eyes, closing them.

"I can't Niall I can't," I said pushing his hand away and getting out of his grip. I got out of bed and went down the hall to the living room to find Harry there on the couch.

"Can't sleep?" I asked him. He shook his head and I sat next to him. We sat in silence before I turned the TV on to cartoons. Hours later I heard people getting up and ready. I looked at Harry and patted his hand then walked back to my room.

Niall was still in bed and I do believe he was naked. I fell alseep way before he did and he must have joined me later on. I threw sheets over him and started taking my pajamas off.

"Didn't know I was getting a show," I heard Niall say who was now sitting up in my bed. I stuck my tongue at him and went into the closet to change. I put on a simple black dress and black tights.

I walked out and Niall was standing there naked. "Seriously put some clothes on!! What if my mom walks in?!" I whispered to him. He looked embarrassed and put boxers on first. I left the room to go to the bathroom and do my hair. I decided I'd curl it because that's the way Amanda liked it. I put my makeup on and went back in my room to find Niall in a suit. He looked so good. I wish a funeral didn't have to be the reason we was wearing a suit.

"You look gorgeous," Niall said walking over to me, grabbing at my waist. I half smiled, and hugged him. "I have tissues in my pocket just on case."

"Good," I said already knowing I wouldn't be able to hide my tears or stop them.

I grabbed my shoes and Niall and I went into the living room to see all the boys dressed in their best looking all quite sad. "Let's go boys," I said motioning them to my car. My mom was letting me drive her van and all the boys piled in. Amanda's family already had a showing but we were still in the UK and couldn't make it back.

"Are you going to be okay Avia?" Harry asked me. I looked at him in my mirror and shook my head.

"Honestly? No." We drove in silence the rest of the way. We arrived at the church and took our seats. Amanda's family all walked in in a long line and sat down, the casket ahead of them. I tried to hold back my tears and to think of something else. I just didn't understand why she was taken so young, and how it felt like she was still here just asleep, in a coma. When Amanda's mom and cousins came to talk I broke down and cried into Niall's shirt. Harry squeezed my hand holding back the pain.

After the funeral, there was a dinner at Amanda's house. It hurt me to go back there but I did. All of her family talked to the boys and were quite friendly. They talked to Harry the most. I think they could tell he loved her an awful lot. We stayed there for awhile until I got tired and we drove back to my house. My mom left to go on a trip with her friends so the house was all ours. The boys all calasped on the couch and so did I.

"You guys want food? I asked knowing they did. I went and made tacos quick, hoping itd cheer Harry up. And it did. We all sat around in our nice clothes watching movies and eating endless tacos. We all forgot the pain and were just teenagers/young adults for the night.

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The next day the boys and I went to the mall and the movies. I figured they wouldn't be noticed because my town was tiny. And I was right. It allowed Niall and I to be more intimate I guess. When there's people taking your picture all the time, it's kinda hard to be yourself. But we all managed us to be real and I think the boys liked it. I could see Harry getting better, not complete just yet. I don't think he'd ever be. I'm not sure why I worried so much about him and not myself. Niall always said I need to give myself some attention.

We shopped till 7 then got some food. After that we went to see a movie. We had to fly back to England the next morning so we didn't stay out late. Plus, none of us were 21 and old enough to go to clubs. I personally didn't even like clubs or drinking which was odd considering I was dating an Irishman. Niall respected my decision so he never pressured me to drink.

We got back to my house and Liam and Louis went downstairs to play video games and Zayn and Harry watched TV upstairs. None of us were tired so we didn't sleep. I went into my room and laid on the bed, reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I only started it yesterday and was nearly finished it was that good. Niall sat at the foot of my bed on Twitter. I was reading the saddest part ever and I started crying and wiping my eyes so I could read the rest of the book. Niall heard me and got up asking what was wrong.

"It's just, my book, it's very sad..." I said buring my face in my pillow. Niall rubbed my back slowly and said, "It's okay babe."

He knew I cried about everything. I was just so emotional. I always imagined characters in books real and that they're part of my life. It's the most difficult thing ever. Niall bent down and kissed my head and went out of my room.

I managed to continue reading all the way to the end. It was the sweetest, most heart breaking book ever. I was so thankful I had an Augustus Waters in my life. (Reference to the book). Niall came in around 2 in the morning telling me all the boys were passed out. Our flight was at 10 so hopefully they'd wake up. Niall took his shirt off and pants, just being in boxers. I looked away embarrassed, not quite sure. I'd seen his kid naked! Just days ago! And he was the one who interrupted my shower, lets not forget.

Niall snuggled up against me and I ran my fingers through his hair. I put my book down and laid down next to me. He smiled and so did I.

"I'm happy I met you that day, outside in the snow. I saw you fall," Niall said looking quite shy. "I debated f I wanted to help you because you know, crazed fans, but I did anyways. I loved how you were concerned with your tights." I looked down embarrassed. He gently stroked my face. "You are so beautiful, you know that right?"

"Maybe to you," I said smiling. He pulled me into him, his body warm and skin soft. He fell asleep much sooner than me. I was too busy thinking and over thinking. One of my many flaws.

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Thanks for reading! Keep sharing??? Augustus Waters is a boy in The Fault in Our Stars and he is amazing so yeah. But read it if you haven't yet! You'll get emotinal!! :)