A Silent Serenade

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Alone

"This---This isn't me," I said, almost a whisper. My eyes started to water and as soon as Almira saw it she immediately enclosed me in her arms.

"I know, I know..." She's caressing my hair, comforting me from the distress.

She showed me a supposed nude photo of me. But I swear in my life that I never took one. It looked real, but real or not, no woman deserves to be exploited and humiliated by exposing their private and intimate photos. It looked a lot like me that it made me scared.

"I know that it's not you okay," I was still crying in Almira's shoulder. She cupped my face and made me look at her. "Tell me who did this, hinding-hindi ko palalampasin ang ginawang 'to sa'yo. I swear to God, Emilia. Whoever did this is gonna fucking pay." I can see her angry eyes, but I do not have the heart to involve her in this. I know she cares a lot about me. Pero siguro ay isa na akong duwag kung hindi ko 'to mareresolba sa sarili kong paraan.

I shook my head, "I don't know." I lied. But she sighed and faced front. She sighed deeply.

"Kilala kita, alam ko kapag nagsisinungaling ka." She softly said after being silent for almost a minute. "Alam kong alam mo kung sino ang gumawa nito Emilia."

"I'm sorry," bulong ko, humihikbi parin. Pinalis n'ya ang mga luha ko.

"You shouldn't say sorry, it's those who did this should say sorry." Tukoy n'ya sa larawang pinakita. "I understand that you wanna fight this on your own, I know you're strong. But always remember that you have me, I won't and will never judge you for anything." She hugged me as I cried harder.

I feel humiliated. Ito siguro ang dahilan kung bakit puno ng bulungan at mapanghusgang tingin ang binigay saakin ng ibang mga estudyante noong palabas na ako ng campus. Gusto ko nalang mag tago at hindi magpakita sa ibang mga tao, pero kung gagawin ko naman 'yon ay papatunayan ko lang na ako nga ang nasa litratong 'yon.

Almira drove me to the place where I work, she comforted me and though I felt better, the harsh reality just keeps on crashing in my mind. Lutang akong nagtratrabaho pero sa kabutihang palad naman ay maayos ang lahat at walang naging problema. Peromas naging magugulatin ako, kahit pagtawag sa pangalan ko ay napapa-igtad ako. Hindi ko alam pero nandyan ang pakiramdam ng takot na baka malaman ng mga katrabaho ko at bigla nalang magbago ang tingin nila sa'kin o di kaya ay matanggal ako sa trabaho.

I know I had issues and they're rooted deep within me. And this situation right now is opening up the wounds I've been trying to heal for so long.

Naka-uwi ako ng maayos, nadatnan ko si Simon na nanunod ng TV. I just stared at him, he didn't seem to notice me since he's so absorbed with what he's doing.

I do not have the heart to tell him what is happening. This is my life and I should deal with it on my own. I tried to silently walk to my room without bothering him, but I guess he still heard my footsteps because he turned around to see me.

"Hey, have you eaten? I cooked---"

"Oo, tapos na." I cut him off, pacing uneasily. "Good night." I left without even looking at him. I just feel like if I look at him, he'll know about everything. That's the level of how scared and traumatised I am by what's happening.

Nang makapasok ako sa kwarto ko ay napasandal nalang ako sa sarado kong pintuan. Thinking about how will start putting the pieces of my life in place again.

Napahilamos ko ang kamay sa aking mukha. The night was another challenge for me, for I waa tossing and turning in my bed to sleep. 

The next day, pumunta ako sa school ng para bang nanliit sa sarili. Na gusto nalang magtago sa lahat, pero kahit na ganoon ay tinibayan ko ang damdamin dahil kailangan ko harapin ito. I found Joan at the cafeteria with her friends, agad ko s'yang nilapitan.