A Silent Serenade

Prologue

Prologue

There are times when I feel alone, then I just play a song and the loneliness goes away. It's like some kind of magic and it always works.

Music has been my shelter from everything. It comforts me in many ways. Kahit sa mga pinakamadilim na yugto ng buhay ko at iniwan na ako ng lahat, nandyan parin ang musika para sa'kin. Para iparamdam sa'kin na "I still have a lot more in me." that "I am strong." Dahil hindi lang ito musika o kanta, it speaks to my soul and it makes me feel inspired. It makes me live on. It's one of the things that keeps me going.

"Lia, ikaw na susunod. Standby ka lang d'yan, pag tinawag ko ang pangalan mo labas ka na okay?" Sabi ni Jomari, ang host ngayong gabi dito sa restobar. I sing for a living. Since I can't do anything else, I'd better do something I'd enjoy while I work. I need to support myself to get through college. Kahit na mahirap ay kakayanin ko, it's the only hope I have.

"Okay," ngumiti lang s'ya sa'kin. We've been friends for a while now. It's been a year since we met at marami na s'yang naitulong sa'kin. Kapag naghahanap ako ng gig minsan, sa kanya ako nagtatanong. I can say that he's someone nice pero may mga panahon nagpaparamdam s'ya sa'kin. Hindi ko nalang iyon pinapansin, hindi ko rin naman iyon inaa-acknowledge. I'm too busy for it.

"And now, for our final performance and the most anticipated performance tonight, let us welcome Lia!" I took a deep breath. Humakbang ako papuntang entablado. This same feeling of excitement, adrenaline and thrill makes me strive to live. I held on tight to my guitar, as if my life depended on it. I held on it, cause it reminds me of how dad used to watch my every performance. I held on to it because I imagine him, being in the crowd, smiling at me proudly. He's not here, but he's still in my mind and my memories.

When I finally let go of my guitar and let it rest upon my body, I held on to the microphone. Nagfeedback ito kaya napangiwi nalang ako at narinig ko rin ang daing ng iba dahil totoong masakit nga ito sa tenga.

"Oops, I'm sorry 'bout that," I laughed it off and smiled.

"Hi everyone, my name is Lia Del--- I mean Lia Sanchez." Pagpapakilala ko sa sarili ko. I almost slipped back there, glad I saved myself. I never use my real name, because I'm scared of people recognizing me as the daughter of the Natalia and Paolo Del Real . And I've suffered all my life for that. And now that my life's pretty quiet, I try my best to keep it that way.

"I'm gonna sing The Only Exception by Paramore, enjoy." I held on to my guitar and started strumming my guitar.

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

I looked at the crowds, I saw how they were enjoying my singing so I closed my eyes to give out more emotion and to feel the song. In fact, this is my favorite song. It reminds me of myself and my life so much that I hate it. I hate how true that I'm scared of loving, that I'm broken and I'm a mess. But I love how it tells my story without even giving out details, it just gives out emotions.

And my momma swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist, but darlin'

I feel pain everytime I sing that part. I felt numb. Like it was an anaesthetic to my heart. Before I sang the chorus, I opened my eyes because I felt a piercing stare from the crowd, it feels different. I looked around and saw a man sitting in one of the bar stools, looking straight at me. Our eyes locked, but then I quickly looked away but his smile didn't escape my sight. I felt annoyed but continued to sing anyway. Not letting the piercing stare of the stranger bother me.