A Silent Serenade

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Meant

Ang mga salitang nabibitawan natin sa bugso ng damdamin ay ang mga salitang pagsisisihan o ang magiging pinakamahalaga sa'tin.

But what I said last night made me confused with myself. It made me want to bang my head on the wall.

As soon as I said those words last night, I saw how Simon's eyes changed. That's when I realized that I said too much! So I ran back to the house like a headless chicken.

"Fuck," bulong ko kinaumagahan ng maalala ang nangyari. Paano ko ipapaliwanag ang sarili ko ngayon!? Baka akalain n'ya na may kung ano pang kahulugan iyon? Hindi ko rin naman pwedeng sabihing dahil lang iyon sa kalasingan dahil pareho naman naming alam na isang lagok lang ng alak ang ininum ko.

What I really wanted to say that night was...he wasn't as bad as I though, that he isn't just about those rumors. But I guess trying to cover it up with flowery words made me stressed. It made everything complicated. Paano ko nga ba dapat iyon sinabi?

Kaya kagabi, hindi pa man s'ya nakakapagsalita at dali-dali kong dinampot ang pagkain at pumasok sa bahay, iniwan s'ya doon. Wala rin akong choice ngayon kundi harapin s'ya, nasa iisang bahay lang kaya kami. Hinding-hindi ko maiiwasan.

Pagkatapos kong maghanda papunta sa internship ko ay nadatnan ko si Simon na nasa kusina at nagluluto. I tried so hard to keep myself calm. Nakatalikod pa s'ya saakin. Tahimik kong pinupuri ang malawak n'yang likod. His white T-shirt defines it even more. He's hair is quite messy but not the ugly messy, it's the nice messy. I know that he always looked good with his slightly curly hair. I wonder how he looks when his hair is straight? I'm sure, girls will go gaga over him even more.

I shoved those thoughts off my mind. Kay aga aga iyon na ang iniisip ko. I just proceeded to the dining table and sat there.

Napa lingon naman s'ya saakin, "Good morning," he smiled at me, but why does it feel like he's moving in slow motion? I quickly snapped out of it and looked away.

"Good morning." Bati ko pabalik. Kalma ka lang, Emilia. Wala kang ginagawang masama.

Inilagay n'ya sa plato sa harap ko ang nilutong sunny side up egg. Meron ding garlic rice. Nagsimula na rin kaming kumain. I was so delighted that it's going very quiet. Pero akala ko lang pala iyon nang biglang...

"Uhm, Lia, about---" I cut him off.

"I didn't mean anything weird about what I said last night. I just meant that I want you to know that I know you're more than just those rumors." Mabilis kong sabi. Para naman akong hinahabol ng kung ano sa bilis ng pagsasalita ko. Napa-awang lang ang labi n'ya, then it eventually turned into a smile. He chuckled umiling.

"There you go again, inuunahan mo nanaman ako." I got confused with what he said, so it wasn't what he was gonna talk about?

"Alam ko naman 'yon, Lia. What I was supposed to say earlier was, gusto kong itanong kung may isusuot ka na ba sa kasal ni Aiden on Saturday?" Napa-tango-tango lang ako sa sinabi n'ya. Then I remembered, ngayong sabado na nga pala talaga.

"Ah...yun ba? Wala pa eh," sabi ko.

"Bibili ka ba?"

"Hindi, siguro mang hihiram lang. Sayang rin kasi, isang beses ko lang masusuot."

"Kung ganon, I know someone, do you maybe want to...?" Napa-isip naman ako sa naging offer n'ya. Wala na rin akong gaanong oras at wala rin naman akong mapaghihiramang iba.

"Uh...sige." pag-sang-ayon ko. Wala na rin naman akong choice. Gustuhim ko mang maghiram ulit sa mga gamit ni mommy, hindi ko magawa dahil wala rito saakin ang mga iyon.