Y/N has always known Emily, growing up together and bonding over shared trauma. Even going as far as going undercover for Interpol. After the 9 grueling years, she had given up on love, it would always lead to heartbreak even if it's a good guy. Tha...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
TW: Mentions of drug use
"Springtime funeral, I miss you but I'd rather be alone"
Spencer sighed looking himself over in the mirror. It had been three weeks since y/n died. Three weeks since he lost his rock in the world. Three weeks since he went to work. Three weeks since he left his apartment.
Three weeks. Twenty-one days. Five hundred and four hours. Thirty thousand, two hundred, and forty minutes. One million, eight hundred and fourteen thousand, and four hundred seconds.
He knew that if he left his apartment, he would have to face reality. The only reason he was leaving was to get closure. He slid his glasses on, trying to block out all of the thoughts of y/n. He sighed, hearing a soft knock against the door.
Emily had been on him for trying to cope healthily. She would stop in whenever she was home from a case. "Reid, come on" Her voice rang through the apartment. Spencer straightened his tie before heading over to the front door. He opened the door, revealing Emily prepared to knock again.
"Emily, I'm trying okay" He voiced, turning back to go get ready "I just wanted to know if you were coming today" She started entering his apartment and shutting the door behind her. Spencer scoffed at her statement "Emily of course I'm going to her funeral. I need the closure, I need to tell her that I do love her and that I always will love her. Even if it's to her grave"
He was hopeful during the first week, answering every single unknown caller that called him. It slowly diminished as the time went on, still answering the calls hoping that she only just forgot the time she said she would call. "I'm ready" He hesitated, trying to convince himself that he was ready for the closure that would come.
Emily looked over at him, doubting if he was telling the truth. Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets, prepared to face the outside world again. Before he left he took one final look around his safe space, books were strewn about, empty coffee cups scattered on the coffee table. The only two things that kept him going, besides the memories of you.
He took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air as he exited the building. Emily put Bella in her car seat, if Spencer was being honest he had no idea how Emily got Bella to cope with her mom's death. She didn't even shed a tear, since he's seen her.
Spencer got in the passenger seat, staring out the window as Emily drove. This was the part he was dreading, meeting her family. Telling them, yeah she was killed because of him. He couldn't save her even though he tried. He wasn't fast enough, he could've been but he dismissed the idea.
He gazed off, a tear falling down his cheek as he zoned out. Trying to go back to his memories with you, all of the dates, all of the late nights at his apartment. All of the late phone calls felt effortless. The good morning texts, the stolen glances shared, the long walks when they needed to clear their heads.
Spencer's thoughts were broken as Emily stopped the car, reaching over to wipe the tear off his cheek. "We're here," she stated, giving him a sad smile. She hated having to put him through this again, but it was for the best. He nodded, unbuckling before getting out of the car.
Garcia ran over to him, pulling him in for a hug "You made it," she cheered, even though it was a funeral she was trying to be optimistic, trying to bring joy to the boy wonder she hadn't seen in weeks. Spencer hugged her back, giving a soft nod.
Emily placed a hand on his shoulder "Her dad and sister are over there" She motioned over to a gravesite, the plaque next to where Emily was buried. Ironic wasn't it, the woman who was supposed to be in the ground standing next to him. Spencer nodded, his converse hitting the asphalt as he walked over to his dead girlfriend's family.
"Scarlett, Amos, meet Spencer, Y/N's boyfriend" Emily introduced, Spencer shuddered at the introduction, he technically was her last boyfriend, it still hurt to hear her name being mentioned in the present tense. Spencer nodded "I'm sorry for your loss" he solaced, trying to keep any mentioning of their relationship slim.
Scarlett tilted her head at the introduction, looking over at Emily. "What do you mean boyfriend? She never told us she was with someone else." She started before turning to Spencer "Sorry it just never occurred to me that she would love anyone else, Devin was perfect for her, he was everything, I mean that man turned her world"
Spencer bit his tongue trying to hold back all of the evidence that proved that Devin wasn't perfect for her. Starting with the fact that he killed her. "It's okay, It might not have occurred to you, but you also didn't have to comfort her and build her confidence back up after he abused her. Oh yeah, and you weren't there holding her in your arms as she died because of his torture. Also, who's here at her funeral? But I digress, my condolences for your loss" He commented, turning on his heel to find comfort in his friends at the BAU.
"Devin was here an hour ago, you don't know the real him" Amos voiced as Spencer wandered off. "I don't know the real him? I know the psychopath who has murdered over a hundred people including your daughter. You know his facade, I know the real him." Spencer spat, his blood boiling at the defense against the psychopath who murdered the love of his life.
He wanted to stay for the funeral, he did, he just couldn't if they were defending someone they didn't know. He blocked out the protests of his team members, all he needed was to clear his head and get away from this place.
He needed to numb the pain, needed all of his feelings to stop. There was only one time when that truly happened, when he was with Tobias, 8 years ago. He felt the tears running down his cheeks, his mind filled with the intrusive thoughts of relapse, that he was debating to let them win.
That's when his phone rang. He looked at the screen, stopping in his tracks on the sidewalk, wiping at the tears in his eyes. Unknown number.
He answered the call, answering with a shaky voice "This is Doctor Spencer Reid", a soft voice that he recognized immediately filled his ears. "I'm a little late, but I promise that isn't because I forgot, I was in a coma. But I think you owe me something Spence", Y/N.
A/N - I told you guys in fifteen he would find out eventually.
