a/n
i just got out the phsychward sorry for the unexpected break ... i was thinking about writing my first book again. i will write up a chapter tonight.
i was driving chase to school and the project was due today and chase and i had to present. and standing in front of my peers and presenting something as stupid as this have me unbearable anxiety.
"i think i'm just gonna drop you off then go home, i feel like sick."
"what? no! we have to present today."
"ya i know that's why i feel sick. i hate presenting it gives me soo much anxiety."
"it's okay i'll be there the whole tim, plus i'll do all the reading so all you have to do is stand there and look pretty." i roll my eyes at him and smile
the day went on fine, well as fine as it could considering i'm in highschool and i have social anxiety. but i kept myself distracted with thoughts of chase, and i feel horrible with how much pleasure i found in making up fantasies about him in my head. but the heart what's what it wants. i think i have to break up with abby. the time to present came around and i was having a mild panic attack while standing there but it wasn't all that bad because chase subtly put his foot over mine, to comfort me and he didn't even make me talk just like he promised. the rest of the day passed by slowly and painfully but i made it through and it was now was the time i dreaded. i have to go home. i met chase at his locker, because i drive him home now.
"hey" he said smiling
"hey." i said lowly
"what's wrobg?"
"i just don't wanna go back to my house." he frowned
"aww i'm sorry. you could come over to mine?"
" can't ive gotta make dinner for my dad."
"aw ok. i'm sorry you've gotta go through that i wish i could help... uh can you come over after?" he says pulling me into a hug.
"ya i think."
"okay just text me when you're done" i look around the parking lot to see a couple girls staring, and i don't even care it was like we were in our own little bubble and i just felt so comforted in his arms i wanted to savor this feeling before i got homw. we let go of each other and i dropped him off. i slowly made my way back to my house and started with dinner, even thought it was not even 4 yet, i wanted to get it over with. i put some chicken fingers in the oven and added some fries, i didn't wanna put effort into a meal, especially not for him. i go upstairs and watch tiktok as i wait for them to cook, i lost track of the time and forgot i was making them and suddenly the smell of burnt food catches my attention.
"shit." i run downstairs and i can see that the food is burnt.
"noen?" i hear my dad tell
"ahh fuck." i whisper under my breath. he must've smelled the burnt food.
fast forward to later
i had just finnished cleaning and plopped down on my bed and decided to distract myself with tiktok, and wait for noen to come over. i realized hours had passed and still no text for noen. i texted him a few times but he's failed to reply. hmm i hope everything's okay. i get a weird feeling like somethings wrong, it's weird it's like i can feel his emotions without really being there. i text again, no reply. i wait 5 minutes but decided i can't wait any longer so i get up and leave to go to his house. my mom is at work and my sad is a asleep so i carefully and quietly slip out the front door. the house is big so he won't wake up. and i begin my 30 minuet walk to his house.
i turn to the back of the house and find his window, i see him laying in bed, reading a book. he's so beautiful. i never thought someone could be so beautiful doing such simple tasks. he resembles a model doing his daily chores. luckily there was a tree that draped right next to his window which allowed me easy access in his house. i climb up the tree and tap on the window gaining his attention. he looks shocked and a little uneasy at first but excited soon takes over. he hurries to the window cautiously looking back at his door, probably to see if his dad had noticed me.
"chase what are you doing here?"
"i missed you and wanted to know if you missed me too."
he rolled his eyes and a light black spread across his cheeks, he tried to contain a smile and keep his cool with an eye roll but i could see right through his lame attempt.
'he missed me too' i thought to myself smiling.
"soo can i come in?"
"fine but we have to be very quiet my dad is here but he's asleep and he's a very light sleeper."
"okay." i said keeping my voice low and carefully clinking in his room. he tried to help pull me in but it didn't help much in fact it make it kinda harder but i thought it was cute he was helping. he slightly turned his head, revealing more of his face to the light i frowned when i noticed a fresh bruise accompanied by a small cut on his lip and another new bruise on the left side of his temple.
"aww shit noen." i say pulling him into a hug. mostly to comfort him but partly to help ease my pain too, i can't stand to see him go through this anymore. i have got to do something.
"it's really not that bad chase, it doesn't hurt honestly."
"i know it doesn't." i knew it hurt.
"it was my fault, i was cooking and the i-"
"hey noen it's not your fault. it's never your fault no matter what you do, he shouldn't be laying a hand on you. it's not your fault honey i promise."
"mmhm" he replies
"i'm serious it's not your fault." i say trying to convince him. and i think it worked because i felt him ease up.
"how about we lay down, watch a movie and fall asleep? hmm?"
i asked with my head resting on his head.
"okay." he said, his grip remaining tight around my torso. i waited a second before attempting to pull away but he would sh let got.
"you knwo you're gonna have to let go first?" i laughed
"just a few more seconds." he said sorta muffles with his face in my chest. i waited around a minute before trying to pull away again but his grip remained tight.
he finally let go and got into the bed and i followed, shortly after setting my backpack on the floor next to the bed. i lay down and he latched onto my side almost imiediatky , i wrapped my arms around him and smiled. i let go ajd sat up, cashing his face to fill with work.
"hey we can cuddle in a sec, i have something that will make you feel better okay? he nodded. i grabbed my bag and pulled out a smaller bag, a rectangular shaped pouch. i reached inside and grabbed out blunt wraps, a grinder and a plastic container of weed. i cut open the wraps and empty the tabbacco inside before replacing it with the grinder up green plant with red and purple accents. i rolled it and licked it, then ran my lighter across to seal it before lighting it and taking a drags. i handed it to him and he took a few drags. i laid back, resting against the headboard and he leaned into my chest. i wrapped my arm around him and plaid with his hair as i watched him smoke it. it was so hot to watch his lip wrap around the blunt, inhale the smoke and exhale it. i could watch him smoke in my arms all day long. his gaze was vacant and he stared at the wall as he hit it. i feelt sorry for him, i wish i could remove this pain he has it hurts me so bad when he's hurting. it feels like i'm hurting as much as he is. we pass it back and forth for a while until it's all gone and i put it out. i turn the lights off and pull out my laptop and play a movie for us to watch. he cuddles into me and quickly falls asleep. but i remain awake, terrified and riddled with anxiety.
'what if his dad comes in here and hurts noen?'
'what if one day he beats him so bad he dies?'
horrible thoughts such as those run through my head. i lay there in fear and i wonder if he feels this fear every night in this horrid house. it hurts me to think about what he's going through. i have to save him i need to do something. so i decide that tomorrow at scgool i will talk the conselor, and j can finally save him from this horrible hell. i feel at ease knowing taht soon he will be safe and not have to fear his dad and his dad will be locked away and get the punishment he rughtfilly deserves. and i finally begin to fall asleep
