Eternally Ours

31- Cup of Tea?

Jack went to football practice, after a lot of reluctance, he wanted to make sure everything was okay. But he was right sleeping on it was something I needed, last night was a lot to process. I still haven't wrapped my head around everything, all I know is I need to talk to my Mum. Last night I ran off because I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn't even begin to think how my mum would be feeling. He didn't just leave me, he left her- I always knew she found it too painful to talk about, that's why I never pushed the subject. He may have walked out from being my Dad but I never knew him, whereas my Mum loved him. 

When I walked into the house, I was half expecting my mum to be asleep, but as soon as I step in she is ready standing in the hallway waiting for me, she must have heard the door. My heart breaks when I see the dark circles under her eyes, a sad smile on her face- she is still wearing the clothes from last night. A tear rolls down her face and that's when I drop the clothes I have in my hands and run to her, I just need my mum. She latches her arms round me and holds me tight, running her hands down my hair. We manage to make it into the living room where we sit on the sofa, and she holds me the way she used to when I hurt myself as a child.

"Mum, are you okay after everything last night?" I asks her.

"I was just worried about you my baby," She kisses the top of my head, pulling me closer.

"Are you not angry? Like at all?" I'm confused, I just thought she would be mad about this.

"I was, but we spoke about it and I was surprisingly not angry. I know you're angry Emily because you think you wasn't wanted but I think you owe it to yourself to hear him out," She hugs me tighter. I wish she wasn't, oh boy do I wish she wasn't, but I know she's right, she's always right.

"Why does he have to be my friends brother? Mum I told you Harry's surname, did you not recognise it?"

"Emily you are aware that Smith is the most popular surname in Europe, plus I never knew that Jesse's parent were having another baby, Jesse told me they kept it pretty under wraps until the last minute" I laugh at how stupid I was to say that, if she doubted everyone either she or I met with the surname smith, we would be thinking that everyone is related to Jesse.

"What happens if I don't talk to him?" I mumble into my mums side.

"Then you don't talk to him, I'm here for you either way. All I will say is that I'm glad I did," She reassures me, "I have work, but I can stay if you need me too? Pull a sickie?" She questions.

"I'm fine," She looks down at me, I can tell she doesn't believe me, "honest," I add, laying my head back down on my mum, "I love you Mum."

"I love you more Emily," My Mum leans down and kisses my head.

***

When your alone it's just you and your thoughts, no one to help distract you. So once my Mum left for work I was alone in the house with nothing else to do than let my mind race on Jesse. I just never thought this would be something I would have to deal with, I had accepted that I was never going to have a dad, made my peace with it. But now I just don't know my mind feels frazzled, confused with what I want to do, I don't want to make a rash decision I'll end up regretting in years to come.

I hear a knock at the door, has Freddie finished work already? No he would have used his key. I scurry out of the kitchen, still wearing Jack's football shorts and jumper having not been bothered to go upstairs and change, to open the door. Harry is standing outside in the same clothes he was wearing yesterday, he looks as nervous as I feel. I have always gotten along with Harry, he's funny and easy to talk to and is just a really good friend. But a small part of me is scared that this might ruin things, I mean how often does someone find out that their friend is in fact their Uncle?