Eternally Ours

55- It Would Mean A Lot To Me

I haven't gotten out of bed in three days. I know I need to move and I need to eat but I can't move. Coming home from the hospital and the hard dose of reality hit me like a ten tone truck. Jack has held me and tried to get me to talk to him but I just can't seem to move my mouth to answer. My parents have both held me and cried for me to answer them but I just can't, my Mum has slept in my bed every night but still I can't seem to answer anyone. Both my grandparents have tried and Harry won't leave my room either. The first night they dragged arm chairs into my room, my mum asleep in the bed with me, Harry asleep on one of the arm chairs, Jack on another and my Dad on the third and Freddie curled up on the chez lounge. That is how it has been for the last three nights, I am on my own though just staring at the wall the same way I have for days and my mind is screaming at me to do something. To stop being so useless but all I can see is Annie's dead body and then all I can imagine is how her parents must be feeling, how much they must blame me for not doing more.

The door opens and quickly closes, I don't move to see who it is, I couldn't even if I wanted too. "Emily, it's Dad please talk to me. Everyone is really worried." He whispers but I don't move a muscle, I feel him pull my hand into his and I just feel numb to the touch.

"Please Em just talk to me, everyone is out it's just us and I need to you too speak Emily Turner Smith because you are scaring the crap out of me. I've held off calling a doctor in, but I don't think we can hold off anymore. This isn't right Emily, I know you're hurting baby I know you are, I know how you feel. Remember when I told you about my friend who died? His name was Robbie, he was my best friend, he told was the one who told me I screwed up with leaving you. I was away at uni when Robbie had a brain haemorrhage, he wasn't much older than Annie, I know how much it hurts and how sudden it is but Emily you need to stop blaming yourself. Let me carry some of the weight on my shoulders because I can take it." He pleads tightening his grip on my hand and I feel a few tears trickle down my cheeks. This is probably the first reaction I have had to anything in a long time.

"Come on Emily please, you need to eat something darling. You haven't eaten in three days. You're going to make yourself ill! Annie wouldn't want this, your Mum is going out of her mind Emily and she is getting herself into a right state darling and I don't know how long I can stop her from going full mumma bear on you." And then as if on queue the door goes flying open and my Mum comes storming into the room.

"Lizzie you were supposed to be out!" My Dad demands.

"You want me to go out for lunch with your mother while our daughter lies in this bed?" She demands and he does answer her. "Look I stood behind this door letting you talk to her, but Emily I can't do this any more! Get up! Move! Speak! Grunt! Do something or I am getting a mental health doctor in here because you're going to get sick if you don't eat and drink! You will have to be put on a drip if you carry on! I know you are hurting, I know that! I can't even begin to image how much but you need to eat." She is crying and that sparks something to life inside of me, she is sitting on the side of my bed now yanking my other hand into hers. "As your mother I am telling you that you need to eat Emily!" She cries.

The sudden weight holing me down, not allowing me to move is lifted slightly as the realisation of what this is doing to her gets to me and I shift to look at her and she gasps. "I-I'm s-s-sorry." I stutter a whisper out and my mum gasps. Putting her hand to my faces she slowly caresses it, "I knew my girl was in the somewhere." She whispers leaning over and kissing my head. "Jess would you go and get her something to eat please." She asks him and he nods and kisses her lightly on the lips before leaning down and kissing me on the head. "That's my girl. Little fighter." He tells me but I don't feel like a fighter, I feel weak. Harry is the fighter not me.

After taking for what feels like hours with my parents I finally bite the bullet and ask for what I really want. "Could you get Jack for me?" I ask them and my Dad laughs.