It isn't your decision *D.M*

T e n

I'm on my way back to Hogwarts sitting in a compartment on the train . Oliver and Daphne are asleep and I think of the past month before winter break.

It's January now. Daphne and Oliver are official since December and he even went home with us for winter break. We didn't tell our parents about the thing with Flint.

Daphne and Oliver are a really cute couple everywhere they go, they go together. I'm happy for both of them but they barely have time for me.

They always tell me I can go with them, but I don't want to be third wheeling. That would be weird.

Draco left Hogwarts short after our conversation. There were rumours about family problems and that he studies from home. But I overheard Snape talking to Dumbledore that he'll be back after winter break.

I'm not afraid to face Draco again I'll try to ignore him at my best.

Adrain is still pissed and I can understand him, I don't expect him to forgive me but he's really mean to me. He's very close with Flint now and instead of Flint terrorising me Adrian does.

I'm alone most of the time, since Draco left I'm always alone at the Astronomy tower and there is nobody who I could possibly meet up there.

Sometimes when Oliver is in our dorm I leave and sneak to Draco's dorm. I know it's actually wrong and a big mistake but I can be alone there. He has lots of books and nobody cares about his dorm. When someone asks where I've been I just tell them I was studying at the library.

I mostly sneak into the kitchen after curfew to eat. It's literally been a month since I ate at the table with everyone. I've lost about 25 pounds. When I sit down you can see my spine and you can definitely see and feel my ribs. My parents didn't even notice although in some clothes I look like I'm drowning.

I just suffer much from Flint's abuse and the fights I had with Pucey and Malfoy. Trough the strangulation dark marks were left on my neck and my eyes were slightly suffused with blood, everyone glared at me. Some students and especially professors asked me about it, I always told them some strange lies and most students thought it was a weird preference from me in bed.

Out of this thoughts there were many rumours, and I was often called slut or whore trough the halls. It hurt me but I didn't want to tell someone about it. Oliver, Daphne and Draco were enough people to know about it. I don't even know if Adrian knows exactly what happened, he never asked me about it.

~..........................................~

A few hours after arriving we got the timetables for the rest of the year, together with it list of who attends the same class.

I lay down in bed and read trough it, unconsciously i search for Draco's name and a smile escapes my lips when I find it on the list for my Potions class. I clasp my hand over my mouth in shock about myself. Why do I smile, he's an asshole. And he's so bipolar, I just hope he won't annoy me or start unnecessary arguments.

While I read trough the lists I realise that I have every class with Malfoy, the smile on my lips escapes them and I don't know how to feel about this now. He will definitely bother me, for anything. It's always me, always am I the one who gets the problems. It's like I'm the magnet and the problems are the paper clips.

After three weeks back at Hogwarts I got already many questions about my weight loss and some very weird stares. I hate it when all the attention is dragged on me, I get nervous then but. Today I overslept for Potions. When I step inside the classroom Snape clears his throat hand stops his class.