for now

.03

(tw: mention of suicide)

I walk to Charlie's house with my hands in my pockets and my hood fitted onto my head. I already told her what had happened yesterday and we talked about it for hours. She told me that I just needed to block him out of my life. We both knew that wouldn't happen, so instead we decided to go to Riley's party. We knew Kai wouldn't be there because last time he was there—let's just say Riley's mom is lucky she's rich. I haven't been out in awhile, my mom hasn't been home for a few days either, so I wouldn't have to come home early, it seemed like the perfect get away.

I text Charlie that I'm outside of their house and she comes downstairs.

"Come in." She smiled, I could tell that they were trying there best to not ask questions about Kai, God knows that I didn't want to think about him anymore.

"Okay, I have a few outfits that we could wear." She had laid out multiple outfits on the ottoman in front of her bed for me to choose from, they already knew which one I would pick.

"Wear a dress, dresses are fun." Charlie said as she threw her piles of clothes at me.

"Maybe I will." I thought about it for awhile, I usually just wear sweats and sweaters, I dress like Kai, but maybe I should just wear something out of my comfort zone.

"How about you wear these fishnets, with this dress, and bring sweats just in case?"

I put it on to make her happy.

"You look good Ivy. Stop thinking about him and you'll look even better." She was right. It sounds so stupid and that's because it is, but I couldn't get him off my mind. It made me sick the way I desperately needed him. Somehow my confidence boosted, and I knew Char was right,

"Yeah, fuck him. Let's just go have a good time."

After a good hour, or two, we made our way to Riley's. Charlie had their own car, so we hopped in it and listened to music on the way to Mayford. Mayford was the little enclosed town that Riley lived in. His mom is super rich and has like thirty properties but funny enough she's never at the one where her children stay. Riley usually throws the party's every weekend, but they're never super big, except this time he invited a lot of people, people from all over the county.

We arrived in his parking lot and Charlie took her designated spot. Did I mention they have a thing? Well, they do. They've been super flirty ever since freshman year, but they both never really wanted anything other then what they have. It's crazy to think that two people could be so happy together even though they are apart.

"Come on! Let's go inside." Charlie rushed to the front door while I locked the car. She walked in and I shortly followed. I had almost forgotten what this place looked like. High ceilings, super cool marble walls, it was almost like stepping into a museum. There were a lot of people everywhere in the house, it almost looked like a television show. People were on the steps talking and drinking, people were outside on the patio smoking and hanging out, and the majority of people were in the living room listening to the Top 100 Hip Hop Songs of 2019, the dynamic was playful and I throughly enjoyed it.

Sitting on a really big L couch were a whole bunch of friends, and friends of friends, so I walked over to all of them so I would have at least someone to talk to while Charlie was gone.

"Ivy! Come over here." Roger yelled from the other side of the couch. I walked over there and sat alongside them. There were a few people I didn't recognize but I didn't mind being around people I didn't know too well.

"Dude, did you come alone?" One of the guys said over the loud music.

"No, no, I came with my friend but I think she's with Riley." I told him, one of the guys on the couch stood up a little taller when I spoke,