for now

.09

I'd finally found myself being able to sleep through all the noise when I am awoken to the sound of loud thumping. 

A faint voice plays in the background of my mind until I realize it isn't imagination.

"Ivy? I brought burritos. I know you told me not to come but I just wanted to check on you." I heard the voice say.

I got up and rubbed my eyes. I looked in the mirror that was covered in different colored pigments and saw how underdressed I really was. I didn't care though. I walked to the door and opened it slowly. 

"Hey Iv. You look terrible." I looked up to see Luca with a brown bag in one hand and 2 drinks in the other.

"That's encouraging." I whispered as he locked the door behind him and followed me into my room.

 There were shattered picture frames and ripped up papers all over the floor, but he ignored them and sat on my bed with me. 

"Why'd you come over Luca?" I asked as he placed the drinks on my window sill.

"You were crying. Burritos make everyone feel better." 

I smiled a little.

"See? You're happy now." 

"Far from it." I laid down on the side opposite from Luca and looked at him while I was on my side. 

He moved the brown bag that was full of burritos and put it adjacent to the drinks on the window sill, scooting towards me. He laid in the same position I was laying in, looking into my eyes. He took his hand and moved my hair out of my face, leaving his hand on my cheek.

"It's that guy, isn't it?" He insisted as he continued looking at me. 

I sighed. Maybe Luca thought I felt this new found love for him, but I didn't. 

"I feel like I led you on or something. I never meant to do that."

He nodded his head no,

"I never thought that."

"Then why are you here?" He moved his and away from me now and placed it under his head as he rolled over to his back. 

"Would you rather me leave you alone?" 

"I mean yeah kind of."

"Look, I'll go if you want to be alone seriously. But I know a lot more than you think."

"Does Roger ever stop talking?" 

He chuckled, "No, he doesn't," 

I sniffed, "Well, he's leaving. I thought it would be easier because I was starting to feel better, but it's just the same feeling. I didn't know how much someone could mean to you until I met him." 

"I get it. I think." He sat up and grabbed the bag, taking a burrito out, "We should listen to some music, music is like food for the mind." 

His comparisons were always horrible. 

"Sure, here's the remote." I throw him the remote and he catches it with one hand. 

"Here we go." 

He puts on some Joji song, it's almost like he wants me to cry. 

For a few seconds I just look at him as he eats his burrito, it made me laugh a little how he just came over here for technically no reason gifting me food. 

"Did you come over so you'd have company for lunch?" I questioned.

He smiled a little and wipes his mouth with his forearm.