for now

.05

I woke up in the middle of my dark room, clothes surrounding me in piles from clean to dirty. All of the emotions from last night still making my head pound.

Charlie called me last night and told me what had happened.

I hadn't been to school for a few days, I was overwhelmed and decided to take time for myself. I had not spoken to Kai since last week and I didn't know much about what he was doing. There was another party at Riley's that I didn't go to, but Charlie and Kai did.

Saturday night is when I got the call.

"Hey Iv, I miss you, everything okay?" Charlie asked.

"Hey. Everything's okay I guess, just needed to have a few days to get over everything."

"I know. Don't let what happened last time happen again... you'll end up like Kai."

I was confused, what did she mean I'd "end up" like Kai?

"What do you mean I'll end up like Kai?"

I could hear them sigh.

"Charlie? What are you talking about?"

She didn't speak for a few seconds after that,

"He's back in the ward."

"Oh god, what did he do this time?" I mean, I didn't expect any less from him. It was probably another fit he had--probably destroyed everything in his house again.

"It was at Riley's."

"Riley's house? He went to the party?"

"Yeah, he was looking for you. He was really mad, like how he got last year when you were talking to that guy..."

Last year, we ignored each other on and off for a couple of weeks but impulsively I decided I was done with him and started talking to a guy, James, who was in the grade above us. Kai didn't like that, when Kai doesn't like something he makes sure that he'll never see that thing again. Moral of the story, James transferred and had 3 broken bones from a "football accident".

"Jesus. Did what did he break?" I asked.

"Everything? He tore apart random parts of the house? The guest room, the patio, the end of the couch? He also had spray paint with him."

"Spray paint?"

"Yeah, he sprayed 'ivy' everywhere. He laughed while doing it almost, like it was a game for him."

It was a game, his plan was to go back, but I'm not sure why.

"What the fuck? So, he does like me I guess." I laughed, Charlie didn't.

"It was bad Iv. I've never seen him like that. They strapped his legs on a stretcher you know."

"Oh my god. Did he say anything when he was leaving?"

"Yeah, he said 'tell Ivy it's all for her, everything.'"

Well shit, what do I do with that? One minute he hates me the next he writes my name on 3000 dollar furniture?

"Shit Char, I don't know what I do with that? Should I try to call?"

"No, not a good idea. I've been telling you that dealing with Kai will make everything worse. Look what he's already done, he's lucky that Riley is a good guy, otherwise he would be in jail. You can set him straight even though I know you desperately want to. You have to let him go."

She was right. Everything they said was right, there's no denying, no fighting it, no saying it was a one time thing. Kai is destructive of anything in his way, I'm not sure what he would've done if I had gone.