Its graduation day. Kai left me a "present" for today. In the box he gave me the instructions said to open it today. So, that's what I'm going to do, open it. Kai and I haven't talked much since he moved. Maybe one call a week, he did leave a year ago anyway-- although still today I feel a piece missing. Most days I wake up during the night and bawl my eyes out knowing I won't see him in the halls, or at all. It's gotten a little better though, mentally. I know how to navigate through different aspects of life better, so that's a start. But you don't really care all that much about that right, you're here for the gift I assume? Me too. I'm staring at it now, I miss him, and I don't know if opening this will make me miss him more or less. Here goes nothing...
dear iv,
hey? remember me. im writing this in jail. just kidding, its not jail. im not the best at writing, or the best at anything really, but i just need to tell you a few things. im writing this a little early from the time i actually leave, did i actually go? if i did, please know i think about you everyday. i was contemplating whether i should stay or not, but my therapist told me that it would be better for the both of us to have some time away... i dont know if shes right. i hope she is. i told you to open this when you graduate. i hope you did. if you did and you waited, im so proud of you for making it so far. i dont think i tell you how much i appreiact you often (i know thats not how you spell it im using a pen give me a break). i love you more than life itself. you know all those times im with you i fall into this deep happiness that is hard to explain. i know you wont take this easy, i wont either. ive never felt the way about anyone the way i feel about you. i dont know what else to say besides that i love you man. i do. im sorry for all the times i hurt you. its never my intention even though its always comes out that way. im going to make you some more things btw. so please dont read them all at once trust me. i love you ivy. more than you know. i hope that youll wait for me okay? just let me get my shit together and i promise if its right, we'll see each other again. i hope i didnt leave but if i did just know someday i will find you again but until then lets just hope we both grew and saved the stories we wanted to tell for each other. i love you ivy. im sorry for everything.
love you forever
-kai
YOU ARE READING
for now
Ficção Adolescente"He makes me feel like I am bouncing on a cloud made out of cotton candy. The thing is, Kai is a storm cloud. Rain, thunder, lightening, all of it...and cotton candy doesn't do too well when soaked in rain." ( sequel "forever" is out now )
