𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 (𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚) || hsmtmts au

45. the right thing

N I N I 'S P O V

that..just happened.

it still doesn't even feel real. i just kissed ricky. twice. four times, if you count-

oh my god, what am i gonna tell e.j?!

i can't just not tell him, i mean, i pretty much just cheated on him. great. another thing to add to the piling list of things i've done to hurt other people. well, technically i didn't do it, ricky kissed me, but there was just no way i was pulling away from that. i still don't know what to think-but i need to do the right thing.

i need to tell him, and hope he forgives me and gives me a second chance (like i did for him). it's the mature thing to do.

i walk into what's left of the party, looking at the stovetop clock to see that it's already 4 in the morning. i see e.j over by the punch bowl (which we all knew did not have any punch in it, just whatever was left in the alcohol stash) and suck in a deep breath before walking over to him.

"hey. sorry i was gone, i was just saying bye to ricky."

"it's fine, i didn't notice," he says, leaning up against the table.

"oh. okay. well..i need to tell you something. please don't be mad, but i'll understand if you are."

"what's you do?"

i hold my breath, "ricky kind of..we kissed. i didn't mean for it to happen, i didn't see it coming-"

"you did what?"

"i'm sorry, i didn't know he was going to do it. but this is the only time it's ever happened, i promise. that's why i'm telling you, it's not-"

"bullshit, nini! i'm not gonna stand here and let you manipulate me, i fucking knew it! and what, you just let him?!"

"what?! i mean, yes, i did..but i'm so, so-"

i'm cut off by the sharp pain of e.j slapping me hard, right across the face.

"how could you do that to me, nini? after everything? you know i love you, but.."

looking into e.j's eyes, holding my stinging cheek in my hand as i listen to e.j yell at me..everything ricky said in the car finally gets to me. i made a mistake back there (probably the biggest one i've ever made). what e.j and i are doing..

this isn't love.

he just intentionally hurt me. you don't do that to someone you love-ricky would never, ever do that to me. every time he touches me it's loving, but this...i messed up. all this time, staying with e.j because i really thought that's what love was supposed to be. e.j and i don't even cuddle anymore, because he thinks it's gross! we don't ever have good times together, it always ends in a fight. and by fight, i mean e.j saying terrible things about me to my face and me letting him.

but i'm done with that.

"fuck you."

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.

"what?"

"i said.." i start, quickly grabbing a plastic solo cup and scooping up some punch. without even thinking about it, i pour the dark purple (disgusting) liquid right on top of his douchey groomed hair and outfit.

"what the hell?!"

"be better, e.j. and never touch me again, you hear me? don't get close to me-and delete my number, for real. no more games, no more bullshit. i don't need you in my life anymore."

he scoffs, "yes, you do!"

"no, you need help! like, serious help-and a shower!" i call out as i rush through the crowd and out the door, running down the sidewalk as i dial ricky's number in the pouring rain.

R I C K Y 'S P O V

i'm in line for boarding, having already said goodbye to my dad at the gate. there are just a few people ahead of me when i check my phone, seeing 2 missed calls and a voicemail from nini. i sigh and decide to listen, hoping it's not any more of her friend-zoning me.

INSIDE RICKY BOWEN's PHONE

- 💌 -
1 voicemail from "neenie 💖"

transcript:

--

hey..it's me. i even don't know if you'll see this until it's too late, because by now i'm sure you've got some crazy interesting life in los angeles to get to. which i am so incredibly proud of you for, by the way. but i really hope you do. i'd completely understand if you don't, though..if i'm being honest, if i were you, i wouldn't.

because..i look back at these past few months, and i realize how much of a complete idiot i've been.

and i know you hate it when i call myself that, but it's true. i've just been completely ignorant and oblivious. i mean, you telling me you had feelings for me was all i've ever wanted to hear. ever.

and i was just..so caught up in trying to do the 'right thing' that i didn't even realize how stupid walking away from you was. i realize now that in reality..e.j doesn't love me. at least not like how you do. but it's okay; because deep down, i've always known my heart belongs to someone else. ever since kindergarten.

and i know it doesn't make any sense, but i stayed with e.j because morally.. i thought that was what i was supposed to do. it sounds stupid, i know, but it was the right thing in my head. but now i finally get it. the right thing wasn't staying with e.j, it was you.

it's always been you, luvie.

okay, that's it. well, no, that's not all it..but the voicemail is going to cut me off at the 60 second mark, so here it is:

i'm so in love with you, too.

like..the scary, watch you in your sleep, keep your flannel on my bed for months and snuggle with it when you're not there, wanna get all old and wrinkly and gross with you kind of love.

and i mean that in a romantic way, if that's not obvious. well, in a platonic way, too, i mean-really just all the ways you could think of. you're my best friend. and i want you to take me out on a date-like..a real date, not a friend date. although i'm not really sure if there ever was a difference.

and i'm so, so sorry that i couldn't even figure everything out, because i was just so scared of change. but i'm not scared anymore. shit timing, i know, but..i know now. i love you, ricky. i always have, and i always wi-

--

"your ticket, please," the flight attendant at the desk says, suddenly making me realize i'm next in line to board.