𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 (𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚) || hsmtmts au

39. happier (2)

N I N I 'S P O V

ONE WEEK LATER

i smile to myself as i walk up ricky's stairs, hanging onto my light pink backpack while i make my way towards his room. i peep my head through the open doorway to see him jamming out to jessie's girl (which is-you guessed it-on our playlist). he doesn't notice me at first, tapping his pencil against his desk like a drum and singing along. i admire him for a second, biting my bottom lip to try and contain my smile.

i giggle when he finally notices me, his face heating up in embarrassment. it goes away when i start singing along too though, setting my backpack down on his bed and grabbing his hand to dance. i look up at him when he gets out of his desk chair (because our height difference is super apparent when we're standing like this) and intertwine our fingers in between us.

"ricky!" i laugh when he unexpectedly picks me up, spinning me around before tripping onto his bed.

"my bad," he giggles, hugging me tight and kissing my cheek. i move my hand over to his chest, holding the ukulele pick that he's still wearing around his neck (i'm pretty sure he doesn't even take it off to shower, because he insisted that he kept it on to get in the pool the other day).

i trace my finger over the engraved words and snuggle into him before i remember that we have finals to study for.

.•.•.•.•

"i love how you do little hearts on your i's," ricky tells me, looking at my biology notes as he slides an arm under both of my legs and scoops them up so that they're overlapping his.

i get butterflies for some reason, either at the gesture that lets us have more physical contact or the way he notices something so little about my handwriting.

either way, it's nothing.

it's not romantic, we're literally going over our notes we took on the frog biopsy we did earlier in the semester-and there's nothing romantic about dead frogs. and this is ricky we're talking about, that's..i told you i'm not doing that again. besides, i'm kind of talking to e.j again, and it would be crazy to think that-

"hey, nins?"

i shake myself out of it, "hm?"

"can i talk to you about something?"

"of course, luvies."

"okay, i've just..i've been thinking about it for a while, and.."

i grab his hand on top of my textbook, "hey, talk to me."

"i'm kind of.." he takes in a deep breath, "i think i'm gonna spend freshman year in california."

i feel my face drop, "...what?"

"i don't want to be away from you, but-"

"but? everything we said about sticking together, the gap year..are we just pretending that didn't happen?"

"no, luvie, you don't understand-"

"yeah. i don't," i say, wiping at my watery eyes and taking my legs off of his.

"i get why you're mad, but you're going to new york, neens. that's your dream."

"no, it's my nightmare if you're just going to leave me all alone and move across the country.."

"you won't be alone luvie, i'm sure you'll find some friends easily. i'll be one call away."

"so you want me to just find a new best friend? is that what you're planning on doing?"

"what?!"

"why are you even doing this? did i-"

"no, no, it's not about anything you did. i just got into a good school in california, and i think it's what's best for me. i think i'll be happy there."

i sigh, "oh..are you not happy now?"

he looks down at his hands and then back up at me, "i didn't say that. i just think i'd be happier there. look, you have every right to be upset, but i promise you're not gonna be alone, okay? i'll..i'll call you every day, and we can see each other on holidays.."

"oh.."

"..and we've still got what's left of school, and all summer to spend together."

"i guess.."

"you guess?"

"yeah. i guess i just thought that we didn't come fourteen years of being inseparable to just seeing each other on holidays."

"i'm sorry, nini, but it's what's best-"

"you keep saying that, and it doesn't make any sense," i say, getting up off of his bed and shoving my textbook into my backpack.

"no, stay, we need to talk this out. i'm not letting you storm out mad at me, that's not what we do."

"i'm not mad, ricky. i'm hurt. i know i'm
being super dramatic, but come on. you just spring this on me out of nowhere and expect me to just be happy for you-and i'm trying to be, but i don't know how i'm gonna function without you."

"nini.."

"and i'm being selfish, i know, but i thought you felt the same-you said we would stay together. you promised. you told me there was no way we were not gonna-"

"i know what i said, but i can't.."

"-you even made a backup plan for us, because we just couldn't fathom the thought of not being together. and now you're..i just don't get it. and i don't think i'm going to anytime soon, so.."

"so.."

i sniffle, "so..i'm gonna go, i guess. i'll see you monday. or the next holiday, or who knows? maybe you'll pretend you didn't say that, either."

"ni-"

i shut the door to his room behind me and wipe my eyes as i walk down the same stairs i had been so happy to come up earlier.