Heal the broken

Four

But robby had never shown up that night which completely broke me. I had hope he would come back still so I insisted on not sleeping at hawk's house or miguel's which they always offered not feeling super comfortable with me staying alone.

Robby. He was now the newest person to have abandoned me and it was the newest wound I had on my heart. The deepest too. I just told everyone my mom was on vacation or whatever which they believed.

Hawk drove miguel and I to the dojo in his new car his parents got him for his 16th birthday. I had just gotten him this chain with a hawk on it. He loved it though and I was so glad.

"Hey you ready?" Hawk asked rubbing my arm

"Oh yeah... you sure he won't be too mad I'm here?" I ask

"No not at all" hawk says

"Quinn I don't know you're full story or past but I do know sensei. I know he has this weird perspective on life which seems to match yours exactly. And I know he wants to do better for his students... and now you" miguel says. Which was what I needed to hear to give me the confidence to go in.

I walked in and sensei's eyes met mine.

"O-oh hi" he says and I just smile at him. The thought of starting over hurt me so much but if my two friends trusted him I decided I would too. After hanging around the cobra kais I have learned to open up more and to put down my walls at least a little. My mind set on life was still the same but I did realize I needed friends.

"I hope you don't mind if I join class today" I ask him and I could see a spark in his eye. Glad I was here and so that was answer enough

"Alright everyone fall in!" He yells

Hawk and miguel have taught me a little about the terms so I knew a small bit

I was now asked to spar with hawk and I could tell he was going easy on me. Hawk had become a bit hot headed but he had a soft spot for me I could tell. I'd be lying if I didn't have one for him too.

I didn't do too bad for my first time which I was proud of.

"Okay guys that was it for today get out of here" he says and heads back into his office and looks back at me and nods and I smile at him again. It felt good to finally getting rid of this pain I had held in my heart because of him my whole life. And now that pain got replaced and heavier with robby.

"Hey! Were ganna watch that movie sensei told us too at my house. You should come" hawk tells me.

I quickly check the time and see it was going to get dark out

"You know I think I'm just ganna head home" I say and he sadly looks down but nods.

"Okay I'll see you at school okay?" He asks and I nod and smile at him waving goodbye

I walk home praying to god robby would be there. But once I got to my door I found it hard to open it. If I go I will be disappointed if he isn't there and did I really want that? I thought

But I didn't want to disappoint my brother if he was there so I walked in...to no robby. I sighed to myself closing my door a tear falling down the face.

I hoped in the shower and blasted my music. Drowning out the noise of the world. Like I usually do when I feel this way.

I got out of the shower putting in black joggers and one of robby's hoodies. Missing him more than ever right now. I just curled up in my bed and cried. I cried for hours punched some walls until I got tired enough to finally go to sleep. But I was doing that for a long time and I was not surprised when I woke up to bruised and cut knuckles.

I just put on my dirty white tennis shoes and went to school. Robby might have given up on me but I wasnt about to give up one me. The world was cruel but I wasnt a little bitch.

I walked into school. Feeling very confident. I headed straight up to my friends and I could tell they were surprised that I was talking.

"Hey how was the movie?" I asked

"Boring but we had fun together. I wish you were there" aisha says which makes me smile.

"Yeah sorry about that guys I thought my mom was ganna come back last night but I got the date wrong" i tell them. Everyone seemed convinced. Everyone except hawk. He just looked at me trying to read me but I knew he couldn't. Thank god I didn't get johnny's clear blue eyes or my moms hassle ones like robby.  Instead I got these dark dark brown ones. Basically black. And no one could ever read me which is how I kept it.

we all headed to our classes and I had forgotten all my classes were with miguel. Which honestly was a relief cause I did not want to be alone. Woah that's the first time I've thought that.

Class was so fucking boring but hawk had texted me asking if I wanted to hangout after school. Of course I said yes and I just figured he would stay till karate and we could go together.

-

It was finally the end of school and the only reason I got through it was miguel. We actually got along really well and I was happy about that.

"You ready?" Hawk asks as I walk out the doors

"Yup" I say hopping in the passenger seat of his car.

I had to tell him how to get there and I could tell he was a little sketched out thinking about me sleeping in this sketchy neighborhood by myself

We walk in and I had totally forgotten about what I had done the night before. Holes in the wall and even some dried blood. My eyes just widened but hawks didn't

"So that's what the hell happened to your knuckles" he says grabbing my wrist and checking out my hands

"Fuck I forgot about this" I say ashamed.

"Look I'm not here to judge you but it's clear you don't have anyone looking out for you. And I want you to know that I'm here. I really am. Whatever is happening you're gonna get through it" he says to me.

I just stared at the walls and then back at my knuckles I felt like I was gonna cry but it never happened. I never cried in-front if people. Only hawk that one time but it was barely anything

He just sighs pulling me into one of those hugs. The one I got that day at school when I found out about johnny. It felt so good to be back there again. Of course I would never tell him how safe I felt in his arms. But when he went to let go I wasnt just ready yet and kept my arms around him. Him shocked at first but just wrapped me back in his arms. Which were getting more toned by the way.