golden ✔️ | bsd

questions

— akutagawa.

Akutagawa knew this night was going to be trouble the moment he found Chuuya in their hotel room. The petite man was knelt in front of the mini fridge, hands rummaging through the contents. He puts something inside, something that Akutagawa can't quite catch a glimpse of. However, he knows that whatever it is it isn't good if it comes from his mentor's hands. He sighs, making his presence clear to the older man.

Chuuya's glances up and a smirk quickly takes over his face. "Hey."

Akutagawa crosses his arms, "What do you think you're doing?"

He gets up, "It's just a little gift for a job well done, I'm sure you'll thank me later."

There's confidence dripping from Chuuya, as there usually seems to be. He's not very big, physically that is but Akutagawa knows better than to underestimate him. He first met Chuuya after Dazai had introduced the two. Yet Akutagawa found it difficult to get close to him, back then it felt like Dazai was keeping Chuuya all to himself. Despite how much the two of them said they hated each other they never seemed to stray from one another. It was almost like they were unable to be apart for too long. At first he didn't understand why the two acted the way they did, but Akutagawa came to learn quickly.

He had just turned fifteen, coming up on his second year in the port mafia. At this point he had grown desperate to attain Dazai's approval with no avail, being met with brutality instead of praise. A part of Akutagawa knew then his mentor was something evil, he had to be but still he longed after the day he was approved under his eyes. That day however, Akutagawa was forced to see the worst side of his mentor.

The door to Dazai's office was open just enough so he could clatch of what was inside. Akutagawa had been walking past when the red of Chuuya's hair had made him stop in his tracks. He turned his head slightly getting a skewed view of what was going on. His superior was leaning against what he knew was Dazai's desk, with the man in question in front of him. From that angle Akutagawa couldn't see his mentor but a bandaged hand cupped the side of Chuuya's face.

Chuuya's face was pale, the only color coming from the circles around his eyes. Akutagawa could tell straight away that he wasn't happy, in fact his superior had clear tears running down the sides of his face.

Thin fingers wiped away his tears, muttering so gently one would believe Dazai was trying to comfort his partner. " You're so pretty when you cry ."

Chuuya slapped his hand away, "This is all your fault."

Akutagawa heard Dazai chuckle before he brought his face close to Chuuya's. What he did next was something Akutagawa was sure he wasn't supposed to see. Dazai placed his lips against Chuuya's, an unwelcome gesture at first, but soon enough the other gave into the action. Akutagawa watched their two bodies pressed against each other, rough and mean as they usually were. He felt like he was going to be sick watching it all unfold. Their intimacy was...hateful.

After a few seconds Dazai pulled away carrying that look on his face, the one Akutagawa knew all too well, the one he used right before being cruel.

While still holding Chuuya's face he whispered, "That's why I like it so much."

Hearing those words Akutagawa was almost sick to his stomach. He felt his lungs constrict in a way he was familiar with, like the air around him had been completely used up. In a moment of weakness he let out a cough, making his two superiors stop what they were doing. Before they could see him, Akutagawa quickly ran down the hall.

He was sure that the two never realized it was him, but sometimes Chuuya would look at him in such a way that made think back to those words, as if his mentor was guilty for forcing him to see that