golden ✔️ | bsd

begginings pt. 1

— akutagawa.

Akutagawa felt as his eyes flickered open. He saw bright light and for a split second he thought he'd actually kicked the bucket, yet the putrid smell of rubbing alcohol had made him realize that he was still very much alive. As his vision finally cleared, the black haired man knew exactly where he was, the agency's tiny hospital room. Slowly, he lifted his body up and groaned at the way his muscles ached. In the end Akutagawa opted to simply lean his back against the mountain of pillows that had been positioned behind him.

The last thing he seemed to remember was falling out of that train. He tried not to laugh at the memory, as out of place as his reaction seemed to be, but the timing of it all was too comical. Akutagawa had finally kissed the weretiger for the first time only to be violently attacked by god knows what. Who knew that loving Atsushi Nakajima would turn out to be this dangerous.

Speaking of the weretiger, where was he? Off somewhere feeling guilty that Akutagawa had gotten hurt? He could practically picture Atsushi with that worried expression on his face, as if the world was ready to devour him whole for not living up to its expectations of him. The longer Akutagawa imagined his partner like that the more it seemed to pain him. He half expected Atsushi to be sitting by his hospital bed waiting for him to wake up. Unless, Akutagawa's mind offered. His gaze traveled across the room and eventually landed on the coat rack near the door. Hung there was his usual black coat, the one that Dazai had given him so many years ago.

Unless he didn't make it out.

Akutagawa felt as his lungs constricted in a way they had never before. His ears picked up on the way the room was filled with a pathetic wheezing sound coming out of his mouth. The machines around him began to scream out only adding to his panic induced state. Images of Atsushi's tattered, and broken body flashed in his mind. Had he not protected him? Had Rashomon disobeyed his orders and let his partner fall to his death?

No no, Akutagawa shook his head, this can't be happening.

He needed air, right now. Akutagawa tried his best to lift himself off the hospital bed, in the process ripping out the IV that had been stuck into his arm. It stung but even so he didn't stop. For a second Akutagawa was sure he had enough strength to stand by himself but soon the weight of his own body became ever so present. Gravity pulled him under, knees and shins hitting tile ground hard. He doubled over in pain as the ability to breathe started to get more difficult.

Suddenly he felt like he was back in his fourteen year old body, laying in some dirty alleyway. Winter was coming soon but him and his sister hadn't found a safe place to stay yet. As he searched, hunger got the better of him, in turn forcing his body down. Akutagawa knew then it didn't matter if he died, not to him and certainly not to anyone else. That same winter he met Dazai, towering over his groveling body like a god. He'd felt so weak he had given his body to the Port Mafia in return for power. Akutagawa isn't quite sure if he regrets any of it.

However, now he felt like the world was caving in itself. Akutagawa just wanted to see him.

Tears began to roll down his face, landing on the cold ground beneath his body. As his vision became a blurry mess Akutagawa heard the door to the room open. With the last of his strength he lifted up his head, seeing a blurry mess of black and white. Relief flooded the walls of Akutagawa's mind as everything clicked. Atsushi Nakajima was perfectly fine and standing above him.

The weretiger knelt before Akutagawa, hugging the other tight. Akutagawa let himself melt into the embrace. Simply having the warmth of another person, no, having Atsushi made him feel whole again. Time seemed to slow as they stayed in that position for a little while longer than they should have. When Akutagwa had the courage he whispered, "I'm so glad you're okay."