golden ✔️ | bsd

aftermath pt. 2

— akutagawa.

The moment the two walk into a new compartment, Akutagawa makes sure to lock the door. Chuuya and Dazai look upon them from across the hall but now he rests assured that both of his mentors wouldn't be able to interrupt. He takes a seat next to the window, and closes his eyes. He lets his head rest against the wall, feeling how the train moves under his body. The sound is loud and resembles a growl. Surrounded by darkness he can imagine a beast, ready to devour him completely. However the only beast he is able to find was the one sitting directly across from him. His eyes remain closed for another second or two before Akutagawa opens them up again.

He's met with white hair and a strand of black in the middle. Sitting there is Atsushi, the boy that plagues his mind, day and night. Akutagawa senses the recurring pain in his chest, utterly terrified of the emotion that's been growing for so long. Like a flower, nurtured with just the right amount of water and sun. He isn't quite sure when exactly the seed was planted.

Was it the moment their lips met for the first time? Under dim lighting with the smell of Chuuya's favorite wine wafting around them. He had thought about pulling away, but the way the weretiger kissed him reminded him too much of his own yearning. But this had started much earlier than last night. Maybe it was in that early morning, a tiny pillow separating their tired bodies. Or possibly further back than that, all the way back to when they fought together on Moby Dick. There was something so exciting about having the weretiger by his side. After delivering the final punch that would put an end to Fitzgerald was when he would begin to fall.

A laugh builds in his throat, I didn't even try to stop myself. Because falling in love with Atsushi Nakajima was so easy, almost like walking into your own home. As his amusement retreats the black haired man is taken over by the urge to embrace the weretiger.

If only his fourteen year old self could see him now, even just himself from six months ago. Love had seemed so foreign to him back then. Too absurd for a man like himself, but Atsushi had crashed into his life and broke him apart. Filled him with rage and jealousy. Turned him into a dangerous storm, one igniting an old need for praise. However, Atsushi smiled so kindly he had cleared his skies. Akutagawa decided he wanted him more than anything, more than praise from a man he knew deep down would never give it to him.

His vision blurs, and soon there's tears running down his cheeks. And yet he doesn't feel an ounce of sadness. Akutagawa has never felt happier.

Atsushi looks concerned, bless him. The weretiger stands up and kneels in front of Akutagawa. He extends his hand out, wiping away the older man's tears.

"Are you okay?" He asks, voice silky soft.

"Never been better. It's just you that makes me so happy and my body isn't sure how to react to it."

Atsushi's face grows slighter redder at that. However he doesn't fall back like he usually does when he's flustered. Instead he takes Akutagawa's hand gently, bringing it up to his mouth and kisses the spot right above his knuckles. He gasps at the contact, it tickles.

"You make me feel the same way."

It's his turn to grow embarrassed, feigning a cough to hide his cheeks growing hotter and hotter. He's going to be the death of me.

Atsushi takes a seat next to him, still not letting go of the hand he had kissed. "We need to talk."

"Obviously."

The weretiger laughs at that, "Where should we start?"

"Maybe start when you kissed me without even telling me how you felt.