Her Secret

The Journal

     Tris heads back to her dorm. She finds a boy sitting in Audrey's office chair. "Um... who are you, and what are you doing in my dorm?!" She asks, walking over to her bunk and grabbing a book. She holds it out in front of her almost defensively.
"I'm just waiting for Audrey," the boy says with a shrug. "But I'm James."
Tris doesn't say anything but sets the book down and climbs up on her bunk. She takes her blazer off and pulls an oversized sweater over her head. She then proceeds to read the book as Audrey comes out of the bathroom. "I'm ready to go!" She says.
Tris down at them. "Have fun on your date," she mutters.
Audrey smiles at her. "Will do!" She says before ushering James out. She looks at Tris. "What if I could get you a date with that special someone?" She asks with a smirk.
"Fat chance of that happening. She doesn't believe in dating anyways," Tris mumbles. She then waves Audrey out of the room, thankful for time to herself. She grabs her bag and flips through it before pulling out what she was looking for. She had kept Jeanine's journal for almost a week. She hadn't wanted to return it to her in fear that Jeanine would be livid. Which was a valid fear, especially being Jeanine had been looking for it. She opens the journal and starts reading it. She felt terrible about it, but at the same time felt she had a reasonable excuse to do so. Or at least she was going to use it as a learning purpose; which was something very Erudite-like, and made her feel better about the ordeal.
She starts reading from the beginning. It starts out with Jeanine as a teenager. Tris almost chuckles to herself as she observes that Jeanine's handwriting is not as neat as she thought it would be. It was cramped and sloppily written cursive. Tris reads through the few pages of her teenage years. She smiles as she reads Jeanine's writings of Andrew Prior. Suddenly the journal skips a large part of Jeanine's life. She's propelled into a year before the present, finding various entries about Jeanine's life. A lot of things about Jeanine surprised her. The thing that surprises her the most though is the latest entry.

12/16
Beatrice Prior kissed me today.

It was pleasant. I enjoyed it and asked her to do it again. I immediately felt bad because I knew it was a terrible idea to get involved with an initiate. The biggest problem was that Tris could be accused of passing through initiation because of me. Second, I could lose my job.

"Aw! She was concerned about me!" Tris says aloud to herself. She then continues to read.

As much as I'm concerned about this I can-

There was a knock on the door before she could finish reading the sentence. "Come in!" She calls. She was slightly surprised as she wasn't expecting anyone. A woman opens the door to the apartment and walks in. "Tris. We need to talk." Tris slams the journal shut and shoved it under her pillow before sitting up to find that Jeanine had entered her dorm.
     "What the hell are you doing here, Jeanine?" Tris asks.
     "It has been brought to my attention that being you are the most likely candidate for future faction leader, We are unable to ignore each other forever," Jeanine mutters. "And trust me. I wish that were not the case."
     "Miss Matthews, with all due respect, I think I'm the one who has the right to be upset here."
     "You? You're the one who- is that my sweater?"
     "No," Tris lies.
     "I knew you or Joanna had it..."
     "But it's super soft and fuzzy," Tris mumbles.
     Jeanine rolls her eyes. "Fine. Keep it. I don't care. But are you going to come down, or do I have to go up there myself?" Jeanine asks, gazing up at Tris in the loft bed. Tris shrugs and Jeanine looks around. "Your side of the room looks very... stiff like, do you know that?" She asks.
     "Not surprised. Haven't had time nor money to buy decorations," Tris replies cooly.
     Jeanine sighs. "Look, Beatrice. I had to do what was best for both of us," she says, walking over to her bed.
     "Yeah. I'm sure you did. Always serving the greater good. Quite admirable, Jeanine," Tris mutters sarcastically.
     "Did Audrey ask you to talk to me, or why the fuck are you here?"
     "Language, Miss Prior," Jeanine chides.
     "It's English," the girl retorts.
     Jeanine sighs, knowing she's right. "I'm here because I wanted to be on speaking terms. If there's something wrong with that, I can leave and you can blow your chance at doing something in the future," Jeanine snaps. "But either way, I was unaware that I wasn't allowed to be concerned about an initiate."
     "That's the problem, Jeanine! You say I'm too involved in your life when it's just the opposite! You keep wanting to talk to me to express your concern or something, and then you're doing more involving than I am!" Tris rants. She brushes a few strands of hair behind her ear that had fallen loose from her braid.
     Jeanine purses her lips. "You're absolutely right," she whispers.
     "I'm sorry. Repeat that?" Tris says, having not heard Jeanine because she had spoken so quietly.
     "I said you're right. But you know what I think?"
     "You think I'm right?"
     "No. My god, you're slow. We already established that," Jeanine says with an eye roll. Tris opens her mouth to protest, but Jeanine shushes her by cutting the girl off. "What I think is well, what if it didn't matter? This thing between us. What if we didn't have to ignore it?" Jeanine asks quietly, staring at Tris.  "What if it could work?" Tris stares at Jeanine without speaking for a long time. "Goodbye Miss Prior," Jeanine says after a long moment of silence. "I expect to see you around." Tris swallows and nods, but it was pointless. Jeanine was already gone.