Her Secret

Birds

    It was the last day of the second stage of initiation, and classes had gotten out early. Tris found herself running towards Jeanine's apartment to see if she was there. She bursts in, seemingly out of breath. Jeanine looks up from her book and walks over to the girl. "Are you alright? How did rankings go?" She asks.
    "Yes. Second," Tris says in between breaths.
    "You got second place?" Jeanine asks. The girl nods.
    "Jean, I've got something to tell you," Tris whispers as soon as she's caught her breath.
    "Go on," Jeanine says with a nod.
    "First of all, I'm not dying. You don't need to be so concerned," she says with an eye roll. "But, I didn't even mean to choose Erudite in the first place," she adds quietly.
    Jeanine stares at her. "I'm not surprised," she says after a moment of silence.
    "You mean you're not mad?" Tris asks in a small voice.
    Jeanine shakes her head. "You were going to pick dauntless, weren't you?"
    Tris nods. "Why didn't you say anything?" She asks quietly. 
   "I didn't want to poke. It was quite obvious. You seemed surprised when your chosen faction was announced," Jeanine says with a small shrug. As she does this, a strand of hair falls loose from its position tucked behind her ear. Tris quickly pushes it back into place before she realizes what she's doing. Jeanine laughs at the look on Tris' face. Tris laughs with her before turning serious again.
    "I did something Dauntless the other day. I know I shouldn't have. I'm really sorry," she mumbles, hanging her head.
    Jeanine tilts her chin up to look at her. "What did you do, Tris?" She asks sternly.
    "I- I might have gotten a tattoo," Tris mumbles.
    Jeanine sighs. "What am I going to do with you, dear?" Tris quickly apologizes again. "I'm not mad," Jeanine states. "But, uh, how bad is it?" She asks.
   Tris unbuttons the top button of her blouse and pulls the top away slightly to reveal four birds on her collar bone. "They're pretty," Jeanine whispers.
    Tris nods and gently grabs the older woman's hand. She places it on her collar bone and slowly moves it over the birds. "This one is for Caleb. This one represents dad. And this one for my mother," she says.
    This time, Jeanine moves her own hand over to the fourth bird. It was further away from the small group of the other three. "Who's this one for?" She asks.
    "Well, these three are for the family I left behind. These ones for the family I gained," Tris whispered.
    For the first time, Tris sees Jeanine slightly confused.
    "This one is for you, Jean."
    Jeanine sits in shock for a few seconds before it registers. "Tris... you shouldn't have done that," she whispers after a long time.
    The girl looks up at her. "Why not?" She asks.
    Jeanine drops her hand. "Relationships don't always last forever. Ink does," she mutters. Jeanine heads over to the sink and fills a glass of water.
    Tris crosses her arms. "It's my life. If I want to name a bird Jeanine, then I think I'm damn well entitled too."
    As upset as Jeanine was, she snorts. As soon as she turns around to look at Tris, she immediately starts feeling bad. "Of course you're right, but what if we don't last?" She asks. "I have a habit of screwing relationships up."
    Tris smirks. "Well, it's not like I specifically had the bird named in permanent ink. I can just say it's for the next person," she whispers.
    Jeanine nods. "Tris... I— just— please don't get so attached to me," she whispers. Jeanine seems incredibly sad. "I just don't want to see you heartbroken if—."
    "Nothings going to happen to you, Jean," Tris states.
    "You don't know that! Half of the city wants me dead already for my work what if—,"
    "No what if's, Jeanine. Have you ever tried thinking positive? It helps a lot," she mumbles. "You don't have to be negative all of the time. Plus people die. I have the same chance of dying tomorrow as you do. Just promise me you won't try and go somewhere on me? Please?"
    Jeanine smiles and sits next to her. She pulls Tris into a hug and kisses the top of her head. "I promise, cheré. I'll do my best. But you ought to do the same. Dauntless are wreckless," she mumbles.
    Tris lets out a small chuckle, leaning her head on Jeanine's chest. "I'll do my best too."
    "Good. Now, what do you want for dinner?"
    It had become a thing for the two to skip dinner in the Dining Hall on Fridays and eat in Jeanine's apartment. Tris shrugs. "Pasta sounds good?" Tris nods and pulls out her laptop. Jeanine starts cooking as she does so. Tris watches her for the longest time before quietly sneaking up behind her and giving her a hug. Jeanine is tense as she wasn't expecting such. She then turns her head around and plants a kiss on Tris' lips. They're distracted for a minute before pulling away. "Is that— bloody hell," Jeanine mutters, practically running over to the oven. "Way to go, kid. Garlic bread is burnt," she mumbles, pulling it out.
    Tris turns red, obviously feeling quite bad. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
    Jeanine chuckles. "You act like I'm mad at you or something." Tris looks up at her. "Why don't you do your homework while I finish up here. Then we can continue. Without the risk of burnt dinner." Tris nods and sits back down, a small smile on her lips.
  
    After they eat, Jeanine and Tris curled up on the couch, each with their own book. Tris slowly starts edging closer to Jeanine. Jeanine, who had noticed the first time she moved, pulls the girl up against her. Jeanine proceeds to rest her book on Tris's head. "Comfortable?" She jokes.
    "Why yes. Very much so," Tris responds; a hint of sarcasm could be detected in her voice.