We Are Not Forgotten

chapter two.

“Stop fidgeting!” I chuckled softly, desperately trying to fix the collar on Gabi’s school uniform but she just couldn’t seem to stand still. I didn’t understand how she could be so hyperactive this early in the morning while I was so utterly drained. Although that was probably down to the fact that I hadn’t been sleeping particularly well over the last couple of weeks because I was struggling to cope on my own.

  

“C’mon mummy, I want to go to school!” She chirped happily, jumping up and down on the spot with excitement. I had never experienced anyone being this excited about going to school, she certainly didn’t get that trait from me. I found it extremely odd considering how both Wilf and I had hated school with a passion.

I then had the challenge of trying to push her puffy, pink coat onto her body as she twirled around beside me. I couldn’t help but smile at her despite me wanting to strangle her for being so restless.

“Will you stand still?!” I said, clutching her shoulders gently before crouching down next to her and attempting to shove her short, little arms through the sleeves of her coat.

“I can’t help it mummy, I’m just so excited!” She grinned, pushing her arms in her coat so quickly that she almost punched me in the face.

Not wanting to dampen her mood, I simply laughed quietly and grabbed her small, purple rucksack, opening the door of the flat in order for her to lead the way. I had to stay closely behind her at all times though because you never knew who was lurking in the corridors of the building, ready to attack. It is a cruel world in which we lived. I seriously wanted to move out of this council estate as soon as possible because it was certainly not a healthy environment for such an innocent little girl to be growing up in, but with no job and very little money I simply could not afford to.

It made me sad that I wasn’t able to have a lovely, idyllic house in a safe area in order to raise my daughter, but when you are a young, single mother the housing companies seem to think you are useless and simply forget about you. It was a ruthless system really.

Once we were out of the council estate, I allowed Gabi to skip ahead of me a little; in hope that it would perhaps wear her out so that she was not so energetic when she got to school. I watched her as she swung her arms carelessly and allowed the wind to blow through her curly, brown hair. She definitely had my hair, not only in colour but also in the fact that it was wildly out of control and curled out in random places. Sometimes she allowed me to put it in pigtails for her but today was not one of those days and it swayed freely as she skipped along the street.

  

As we came to cross the road, I observed proudly as she immediately stopped by the curb and waited patiently for me to catch up. She was such a smart child and I swelled with pride as I grabbed her hand and crossed when it was safe.

“Well done kiddo” I smiled, praising her when we reached the other side. She looked up at me, her big, blue eyes bulging and beamed from ear to ear evidently delighted with her achievement. However as I gazed down at her, I immediately thought of Wilf. She had his eyes and it physically pained my heart to be reminded of him all the time. I would never be able to escape from him because he would always be a part of her and in some ways that upset me.

Obviously Gabi must have also had her father on her mind as she was no longer skipping in front of me but instead toddling beside me. At first I was quite worried by her sudden change in behaviour because it was only natural to be curious. She glanced up slowly, puffing out her chest and asked me a simple question.