We Are Not Forgotten

chapter eleven.

I was a little shocked to hear Wilf’s voice again after so long and strangely, it had even shaken me up. The vivid images of his depressive mood flashed through my mind; the shouting, the alcohol, the disappearance. Everything that had happened between us had been dragged up again and I feel utterly crap. I had only just started to move on with my life and forget about the man I had loved, but once again he was all I could think about. 

I woke early one morning and simply laid completely still in my bed. Staring at the ceiling as though something was going to come from it, but nothing ever did. I had the weirdest dream that the ceiling would open up and I would be lifted towards the starry sky until I felt nothing but peace. It was a recurring dream and I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant. I continued to gaze aimlessly at the ceiling until I was jolted by a sweet, timid voice that broke the painful silence.

“I’m awake mummy” She beamed, stepping into my bedroom with Mr Snuffles tucked under her arm. I blinked and sat up gradually, giving her a weak smile.

“I can see… Come over here” I motioned. Quickly, she hopped up onto the bottom of the bed and climbed towards me. I enveloped her into my arms and squeezed her tiny, body tightly against mine. Words could not describe how much I loved this little girl and right now, my emotions took over me. She was all I had in the world. I was never going to let myself forget that.

“Did you have a good sleep?” I questioned, stroking her mousey, brown hair affectionately. I released her from my death grip and slumped back onto the pillow behind me. She rested her head on my chest and nodded,

  

“Yep, I had a dream about peach blossom” She giggled, I had to rack my brains to figure out who the hell peach blossom was until I remember it was one of her plastic toy ponies. The pleased look on her face caused my heart to swell with happiness.

  

She was such a sweet child, which was odd considering Wilf and I had both been utter brats when we were younger. Sometimes I’m scared that she will turn out like the two of us. I didn’t doubt that she had heard some of the arguments that we had had; perhaps subjection to violence would make her think it was normal.

“Aw, is peach blossom your favourite?” I smiled,

  

“No…” She murmured, “She was Uncle Oliver’s…” Once again, the mention of Oliver caused my heart to sink and I couldn’t help but think about him. I wondered what he was doing right now in his brand, new house in Ireland. Surrounded by beautiful fields and historic culture, he must be having the time of his life. I doubt if Gabi and I even entered his mind.

  

“Oh…” I sighed, glancing down at her. She looked sad for a second before leaping out my arms and clambering hastily off the bed,

  

“Can I have breakfast now?” I knew this was probably just a ploy to make me forget about Oliver and I mentally thanked her for changing the subject. I swear, sometimes she acts beyond her years. She knew how to make people feel better, a trait I was definitely grateful of. Gabi was what kept me going right now and the fact she cared so much about me, let me know that I hadn’t failed totally as a mother. I might not know where we were headed in the future, but I had raised her to be a kind and caring person, that was worth way more, right?

“Of course” I replied, flicking the warm duvet from off of me. I instantly felt the brutal cold and grabbed my dressing gown that was slung carelessly on the floor. I pulled it on quickly before following Gabi to the kitchen.