We Are Not Forgotten

chapter eight.

There were many things that made me smile but my daughter had to be the biggest reason. Every time she smiled or laughed, it would simply shine a light through me and it was impossible not to feel better. Even when she cried, it made me happy because I knew I would be the one to comfort her and that she depended on me to look after her. That made me happy.  And right now, as I watched Gabi on the small train ride at the funfair I simply could not be more filled with delight.

  

“Mummy! Look at me!” She giggled as she raised her chubby little arms in the air as the train turned the corner of the track. I had decided to take her out for the day because I knew I had been neglecting her. I frequently left her with Oliver during the day because I had other matters to tend to, but today was different and Gabi had my undivided attention.

  

“I can see you kiddo!” I called back, taking in the colourful array of carriages that sped past and were connected to the front of the train.

I loved to see the joy and excitement in her sweet face because it made my heart soar like nothing else possibly could.

Once the train ride had ended and Gabi had made her way back to where I was stood waiting for her, I offered to buy her some ice cream and of course, she said yes.

  

“I want strawberry please Mummy!” She cried excitedly, jumping up and down as we stood in line waiting. I didn’t care that several people were giving me judging look because she was being so loud. What did they expect from a child in line to get ice cream? I simply didn’t understand what their problem was.

“Sprinkles?” I asked, ruffling her already messy her playfully.

“Yeah yeah!” She proceeded to bounce up and down repeatedly beside me and I couldn’t help but feeling as though my life was getting better, merely because she was in it to keep me going.

Most women crave a man to make them happy and be always ready to protect them no matter what, but I realised now that I didn’t need that. Sure I still missed Wilf incredibly but overall I was okay. At first, I thought I was never going to cope but right now, with Oliver’s help, I was. Everything was going the way it should and I was thankful for that. I had enough money to buy ice cream even though it was technically Oliver’s, I had promised him I would pay him back as soon as I found a job and I had applied for many now. So things were certainly on the up.

  

“Shall we go home now?” I wondered, casually holding Gabi’s hand as we strolled away from the funfair. She was still distracted with licking her ice cream manically so she didn’t answer verbally, only nodded her head. I had to admit I was rather pleased she wanted to leave because there was only so much of screaming children and blaring music I could endure without wanting to die. Perhaps I was being overdramatic, but at this very moment I had had enough.

  

***

“Did you have a good time then?” I asked as we bustled our way into the front door of the flat. It was eerily quiet as we entered and I couldn’t help but notice Oliver’s absent. I was aware that he didn’t have to visit every day but it seemed that recently his surprise appearances were getting less and less frequent. I definitely intended to interrogate him about it however right now; all I wanted to do was go to sleep.