That's Just The Way The World Works

Three Little Words

I had heard Peter leave early this morning but didn't feel like speaking so I stayed 'asleep'... It has been three weeks since I heard I love you... I sigh and sit up in Peter's bed, the sheets sliding off of me... I only wore a tank top and panties, not seeing the need for pants even though it was cold outside. I look over at the window and clasp my hands together... Did I just ruin a good thing?... Leave it to me to self sabotage... It's not that Peter and I have been detached or haven't talked... We have, but I felt that I had tainted a perfectly good thing and it would never be the same... Truth is: his words scared me... Those three words felt heavy, like I needed to make his words true... I just can't say it... If I say it then I give everything I am to him... He can hurt me if I say it... But Peter wouldn't do that, I know him... I groan and throw the blankets off me, standing up and going to the kitchen.

I walk over and brew some coffee... As I wait, I walk over to the TV and turn it on to the news--not the Daily Bougal-- for some noise in the background. I then go into my room and change into niki shorts and a large light purple T-shirt. I go back to the kitchens and pour the coffee into a mug. After some time alone I get a knock at the door.

I walk over and look through the peephole, to see none other than Olivia. I smile and open the door, "What are you doing over here?"

She smiles, "Is it a crime to have a day off?"

I smile and then give her a hug, "It's nice to see you."

"It better be." she jokes, walking in and putting her stuff in a breakfast bar chair.

I close the door and mosey around the bar and into the kitchen, grabbing my mug.

"Just black coffee?"

"Yup."

"Good lord," She laughs, "I could have fixed it up."

"I like tasting pure coffee."

She nods and sits down in the seat next to the one that held her bag, "I saw your blog... Wow, no one would have known that museum was all forgery."

"Oh... Thanks." I smile, "took the pictures myself. I interviewed the woman who gave me a tour and she went pale when I asked about her boss's business... The man sold priceless paintings and filled a museum with fake ones... It's ridiculous." I set my mug down and pour Olivia some coffee with cream before setting it down in front of her.

"You've also seemed to get more of a following, I wish you would have told me over two hundred thousand that read your blog."

"I didn't see the need to boast." I shrug.

"Of course you didn't." She laughs, sipping her coffee.

I sip my own and look over at the news, not looking at what it spoke about but just stared into space in it's direction.

We're silent for a bit, Olivia pulling out a magazine she must have just bought. I sip more of my coffee and then Olivia asks: "How are you and Peter?"

"Fine..."

".... What happened?"

"For real, we're fine... There's just a minor update I forgot to tell you..."

"Oh my god-"

"Don't freak out-" I say, holding a hand up. She looks at me with wide eyes.

"It's only that... Well... On New Year's Eve... Right before midnight... Peter told me he--loved me."

Olivia gasps, "That's so sweet!!!" she studies my expression, "Wait why is that wrong?"

"It's--not."

"MJ, what's up?"

"I just... Wasn't ready."

"Oh-that's ok! Totally... is that all you're worried about?"

"No it's just that-I don't know... I feel like I ruined something..."

"I see... What did he say?"

"Take all the time that I need." I sip my coffee.

Olivia nods and does so as well, we both are stuck in thought as I look over my own situation.

Olivia takes a breath in, "Easy enough... Just take your time MJ, you don't have to do or say anything until you're ready."

I nod but I stay caught within my own thoughts.

Olivia drinks her own coffee before turning to the TV, something new coming over her body and expression, "Holy shit..."

I snap out of my thoughts and look at olivia who gets up and walks to the TV, I look back at the news and the realization sets in, my stomach dropping-

"Holy shit."