That's Just The Way The World Works

Selfish

     I sat on the stool by my canvas faced towards Olivia who sat on my bed with her legs crossed. "I know that he has to save the world and that... But..." I huff, unable to make this sentence not sound bad. "I know I'm selfish for wanting him here with me but I can't even get one day??" I look down, unable to stop the sting of loneliness I felt in my chest.

    Olivia looked at me with sympathy in her eyes, "I know what you mean. You're not selfish for wanting more from your boyfriend."

    I look up at Olivia, "but I can't just tell him to not go."

   "No... you can't. But you should tell him how you feel."

   "Right..."

    Olivia looks at me sympathetically before scooting over to the edge of the bed and reaching across for my hand, grabbing it, "It'll work out MJ, I see the way he looks at you... I don't think he'd be able to function without." She giggles.

    I smile, "probably not."

   "Exactly!" She laughs.

    I let out a small laugh and slide off my stool, going to Olivia and hugging her, "Thank you."

    She hugs me back with a squeeze, "You don't need to thank me."

    I lean back and sit on the floor looking up at Olivia, "Well, would you like to go out to dinner? Or do you have other plans?"

   "No, I don't have any plans. Dani is still out at work."

   "Well, God only knows when Peter will be back." I joke, "we should go to a movie after. What's out?"

   "Not sure, let me see." Olivia says, looking around the bed for her phone before turning back and reaching for it. As she starts searching I hear a shutter from the fire escape. I look over and see a shadow go into Peter's room. I stand up when I see Peter round the corner and look at me through the doorway, his suit still on but his mask in his hand, I see him notice Olivia and then I ask, "Hey, what's up?"

    "Hey." Peter says breathlessly.

     I look at the time: 6:43 pm.

     Olivia looks over at Peter and is in shock before giving him a smile—"Hey Peter."

     He gives Olivia a forced smile and that's when I can tell that something is on his mind.

    "Um, Liv, I'll meet you at our favorite place, yeah?"

     Olivia looks back at me and takes the hint, "yeah! I'll see you then." She gets up, grabbing her bag before passing by Peter with a friendly departing hug that Liv was known for, "Bye Peter."

    "Bye." Peter says, as Olivia then took off, the door signaling to Peter and I that she had left. Peter looks at me, "Today has been hell." His voice is low but steady.

    "Tell me about it." I say, looking at him longingly, him not knowing what I was thinking. He comes deeper into my room and sits down on the corner of my bed, I sit down beside him as he sighs. "I'm worried about Yuri, Hammerhead got away again—this morning—and he did a lot of damage, not just to the streets but to people and families... Yuri isn't in the right frame of mind and I'm worried she's going to do something she'll regret."

      I nod slightly to show evidence of my listening before commenting, "that's rough... Hammerhead is relentless, huh."

      Peter looks over to me, "I know! And you think that's all today would have been but Otto's gone too."

     "Your boss?"

     "Yeah, he texted me that we lost our space--but I don't understand why I can't find him. The lab wasn't closed—sure it was dark but it was more destroyed than it was when I was there the day before." Peter's words were mangled and climbing after each other, he wasn't able to articulate the happenings as he was probably tasked with other minor crimes around the city. I could tell that he was exhausted from the day and that's why he was home. He needed to air out his thoughts that had been circling his mind.

     "I'm sure he didn't just skip town."

     "That's certain... Something just doesn't feel right about all of this." He says, gesturing to the window before running the same hand into his hair. I put my arm around him and rub his shoulder lovingly, letting him lean into me. "Your spidey sense telling you that?"

     He laughs with a hinge of exhaustion, "more like intuition."

     I lay a kiss on his head, breathing him in and scratching small circles from his shoulder to his back. As we sat in silence I continued comforting him, thinking about my own frustrations with his situation. I started to wonder what our relationship would be like if not for his double life. He wouldn't feel such a responsibility to everyone and it would just be us. Never have I thought it possible for me to want anyone this close to me... If it wasn't for Peter I wouldn't even have Olivia as a friend. I wouldn't have anyone. Now that I have people I suddenly wish more from them, when isn't what they give good enough?... Peter being here right now was enough. But is he here because he wants me? Yes, he wants me--we're in a relationship. But he's gone half of the time--especially lately now that he also has a job. Maybe I'm just needy--but I'm the least needy person I know. I can handle myself... Doesn't change the fact that I miss him every time I'm alone in the apartment... I would love a breakfast together... Lunch... Or dinner... Listen to me, god I'm so selfish. He came to me wanting to vent and all I can do is think about my own problems.

    A rumble was felt shaking the apartment.

    I guess the world was against me.

   Peter looks towards the window, getting up and going towards it.

   I take a breath in, "What is it?"

   He shakes his head an inch as he tries to search for what it was. "I think I need a different view." He opens the window and my heart panics, getting up quickly and going to his side before he steps out the window, "Let me check it out with you." I said, not making it a question. He blinks at me before climbing out the window and reaching for my hand once he was out. I grab it and he slides his mask on, grabbing me by the waist in one swift movement as he shoots a web and pulls us up to the roof, setting me down gently. I see the eyes of his mask squint and search the surrounding area. I look too, curious as to what could have made the complex shake. The sky was full of clouds and a blue tint covered New York, it not being exactly night yet but not day either. A weird in between that showered the world in a beautiful shade of blue. Wind tugs at my hair gently, I look in its direction and that's when I hear sirens and distant gunshots. The sounds I was hearing did not match the calm atmosphere atop the complex. This seemed to be a safe spot, like in a children's game of tag. No one can harm you here... Yet you can't stay here forever.

   Smoke was seen in the far distance, across central park.

   Don't tell me...

   I looked at Peter who had already noticed the smoke. He looks back at me and I look back at the smoke quickly, as if I had never looked at him. I feel him about to speak when I say, "I know."

   His breath catches, surprised at my blunt response. "... MJ-?"

  "Go... " I force myself to look at him, "I'll be here..."

   He nods but I can't see his expression, he turns his back to me and jumps off the roof... When I'm left alone, the wind doesn't feel gentle anymore. In fact it's harsh against my back, blowing my hair above my head enough for me to reflexively put my arms around myself... He'll be back.