Poison Ivy

Chapter 1

Dear Diary
Today is the first day back at that hellhole we call a school. I am not prepared to face people yet. I hate the look I get each time they bring up the death of my parents. I don't need their pity.

Mostly I'm worried about Elena and Jeremy. Elena took the death of our parents the hardest. And Jeremy has been abusing drugs in order to cope. I don't blame him but I have to be strong for him.

As for Elena, well she doesn't fool me with her fake smiles and if I hear her say that she's fine one more time, I will scream. She's trying to be strong for everyone else at the expense of herself but that's not her job. It's mine, I am the oldest. Even if it's only 3 minutes older.

I haven't written in my diary since I was 13. Unfortunately my therapist thinks that I need to talk to someone and I refuse to burden anyone with what is going on right now. Hence why I decided that my diary is a healthy alternative.

I checked the time on my phone and realize that I woke up before my alarm. My alarm goes off at 6 am so that I can lay in bed for a while and then get ready. When you're sharing a bathroom with someone like Elena, you learn that getting up earlier than her is the only solution to ever using it before you become late. Jeremy has his own bathroom- lucky fish.

I enjoy the stillness that comes with being up as early as I am. I have time to think and have about 2 hours to get ready and not rush.

Looking in the mirror I look at my eyes. One pitch black and the other pale blue. My parents used to say that they were gifts. They would always say that you could see mischief in them. I love my eyes. It makes me feel special and unique.

Today though, they are filled with sadness and tears. I look into my eyes and they remind me of what I've lost. I am lost, my siblings to. Two precious people lost their lives and we are expected to continue with our own.

I only allow myself to cry about this for 10 more minutes. I cry in silence and alone. God knows I've screamed and broke to many things already.

I hop in the shower and wash away the tears and the feeling of loss as best as I can.

Once out of the shower I start on my black curly hair. It used to flow right to the top of my bottom but I cut it and now it sits in the middle of my back. I put my hair in a high bun. Thankfully I cut my bangs already so it's not in my face.

Elena was pissed when I cut my hair. She was always envious of my hair, hers was pin straight and dark brown. No natural curl in sight.

We may be twins but we only looked like sisters. We aren't identical. I'm curvy and shorter than my sister. She looks like a model and I don't. It's never been an issue and we loved each other just the way we were.

Going into my room I look through my closet and decide to wear black rip jeans, black Doc Martin's and a red lace top. My breast were average, I'd say more than a hand full. Same for my behind.

I don't wear makeup, it takes to long to apply and I have sensitive skin. I do however put in a generous amount of lip gloss. My lips are naturally big and I like to show them off.

I look at in the mirror for the last time, putting in my earrings in my ears. Simple hoops in my earlobe. I have double helix piercings in my left ear and on the right an industrial piercing. I only wear silver because it goes well with my eyes.