You're Special To Me

Dan's POV- 23

My mum did come around that afternoon to pick me up from Phil's, and when she did she looked mad. I waved goodbye to Phil, who looked exhausted. We climbed into the car, and the journey home was silent. My mum was in her stage of rage where she was so mad that words couldn't come out of her mouth, so she sat there and didn't look at me at all until her rage had died down enough for the screaming to begin.

We pulled into the drive and she locked the car behind her once we were both out. My head was spinning from blood-loss and my mouth was dry as I waited for the abuse and shouting and embarassment. I stepped inside and leant against the wall, licking my lips. She was standing outside in the cold, her eyes staring into space, until I cleared my throat and she stood facing me in the hallway. I made eye-contact with her dark brown eyes, much like me although mine were chocolate brown, and took a deep breath as she opened her mouth.

"Oh, Daniel." She wrapped me in a hug, much to my surpirse, and didn't let go until I started to gasp for breath. "Dan, Dan, Dan... I'm so sorry." She lifted my hand to expose my long, white scars and scabs. Tears filled her eyes. "How long? What do I have to do? Do you need to speak to someone? Is it my fault? I'm so sorry-"

"Mum," I grabbed her shoulders, as I was taller than her. "Listen to me. I am fine, this is just a one-time-thing. I won't do it again, I promise." I hugged her again, reassuring her depite my hatred towards my whole family.

"Good, good." She sobbed into my shoulder. Eventually, she pulled away, offering to run me a bath like she always did when I was six years old. She would make bubbles and fill it almost to the top, so when she came in the floor would be drenched and I'd be covered in bubbles head-to-toe. Everything back then was the best, because I didn't understand life or how to live it or the stress of everything, but now I do, and I know my parents still don't. "I'll put bubbles in it." She smiled through her tears. "I'll fill it up to the top. And I'll make you a hot chocolate for when you finish. Just like old times, remember?"

I tilted my head at her, slightly confused. Why would she do that? She didn't care about me. She never had done. "Yeah, I do..." I slowly walked away, until I felt her grab my hand desperately. On an impulse, I yanked it away, but turned to face her.

"I'm sorry Dan. I mean, I know you've felt left out and neglected. I understand Adrian has been giving you a hard time, but I have no idea why. But just know that I love you, and you make me so proud. I try to be a good parent, but it seems I am incapable of it." She bowed her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're the best child a parent could wish for."

I stared at her in shock for a moment, trying to digest what she had just said. And then I realised, and I started to cry. She did love me after all, and she did try to be a parent. She knows she's doing it all wrong, but everyone makes mistakes. I wrapped her in another hug, and this time I meant it.

***

"So, I heard you and mum made up." Adrian's cold eyes glared at me from the doorway of the living room. I glared back at him, hating how he basically controlled the way I felt and acted.

"Yes, we did." I mumbled, flicking the TV off. "Got a problem?"

"Yeah, I've got a problem." He removed himself from the doorway, eyes burning like the fiery pits of Hell itself. "You."

"How am I your problem? What did I ever do to to?" I spat, rising from my seat.

"You existed, that's all. Plus you're gay, and mum and dad won't like that. Think of grandma's reaction..." He notcied my face darken with worry. "I heard what mum said to you. Guess what, Dan?"

I clenched my fists, glaring daggers at him. "You didn't." I breathed, waiting for my mum to come running.

"No, but I'm going to. Just try and stop me." He walked away, towards the stairs and began to climb them. Coming out of my shock, I bounded after him, hatred and terror swelling inside of me. I saw him push open the door to the bathroom and whisper in our mother's ear. Her eyes widened and she looked straight at me, right in my eyes.

My heart stopped.

"Mum... I... I..." I swallowed, feeling the guilt and shame consume me. "I..."

"Don't." She shook her head, biting her bottom lip. "Just don't." Adrian shot me a smug look before shouldering past me and locking himself in his bedroom. That left two.

"Mum, please..." I begged, feeling my throat tighten and my palms sweat. "What did he tell you?"

"I thought Phil was just your best friend. Nothing was going on." She seemed to be talking to herself on that last sentence. "It's not possible. My son isn't gay; he can't be."

I bowed my head. "What can I do to make this better? Mum."

She looked at me again, though she didn't seem to see me. Her eyes were clouded and unfocused. "Break up with him of course, and I won't tell your father or grandma. Promise me, and I'll let it all pass."

I felt my bottom lip start to tremble. "But I love him. I can't do that."

"Who do you love more? Your family or some boy you met?" She immediately stopped herslef.

"He's not some boy!" I yelled, sobbing. "He's Phil and he's that best person I will ever know, and I sure as hell love him more than my damn family!" I dropped to my knees, staring at her in hope that she will understand.

"If you feel that way then..." she paused. "I can't tell your father and grandma this. They will have you sent to Hell for sure, and I would not wish that on my own son. That leaves me with only one choice. If you can't break up with Phil then I'll have to make you."

"What?" I asked, shaking.

"We're moving." She declared. "Far, far away from here where you can never speak to Phil again."

My whole world stopped spinning. "No... no, you can't do that! Mum! You can't do that! Stop!" I grabbed her sleeve as she moved out of the bathroom. "I'll do it!" I screamed, making her freeze. "I'll do it I'll do it I'll do it just please don't make me move please please please. I'll break up with Phil."

"Really?" She asked, shocked. "You mean that?"

"I can't move away from this place." I lied. I hated the place, but I loved Phil. "I've lived here all my life. I plan to keep it that way."

"Oh, Dan..." My mum hugged me again, but I didn't return it. Instead, I carefully pushed her away.

"I'll break up with him," I told her quietly, "but I will never forgive you. Never. Do you hear me?"

She nodded, her face hidden from me, and in the end I stormed into my room and phoned Phil. He answered immediately. "Dan? Is there something wrong?" He asked.

"Phil, we need to talk. But not over the phone. Can you go to the park?"

"Yeah. Is it urgent? You sound dreadful."

"Just be there as soon as possible please." I added on quickly before I went, "I'm sorry."