You're Special To Me

Phil's POV- 34

It hurt to think that Dan was self-harming, but what could I do about it? Obviously, he was having a hard time and me with my moods weren't helping, bit even if I tried not to be moody with him, how would I know what's upsetting him? I was thinking about this for two hours before turning over and going to sleep. The dream consisted of Dan and I standing in the halls of our old school, but we were tweleve.
"I'm Dan." Dan held out his hand, his grin wide. "You must be Phil. I've heard a lot about you."
"Y-you have?" Twleve year old me stuttered, staring at Dan's outstreched hand. "Good or bad?"
"Good. Everything is good, don't worry. Come on, let me introduce you to my friends." Dan led Phil down the hallway, out of the double doors and into the sunlight. "Tom!" He called, waving cheerfully. "Tom, look, this is Phil."
Tom shook Phil's hand with a cheeky smile. His hair was ruffled and his eyes soft. "Nice to meet you, Phil. Are you new here?"
Phil nodded shyly. "Yeah. Dan is in charge of showing me around."
"That's great. Dan's a great person to be around. Look how happy he is."

The dream dissolved, but another took it's place. This time they were in Lanzarote when they were fourteen.
Phil floated in the water, watching Dan cannonball into the pool.
"You try." Dan suggested, and Phil climbed out, ready to show off to his friend. "Go on Phil!"
He took a deep breath, ran to the edge but instead of jumping his feet slipped and he fell, legs in the water and back out. He looked to be at an unnatural angle, screaming in pain. Dan began to call for help as he rushed to his side, shivering.
"Somebody help! Anyone? Help!"

I was torn out of the dreams by the horrid sound of Dan's alarm next door. Grumbling, I stuck my head under the pillow, until I realised that Dan didn't have an alarm. That could only mean one thing.

Pulling on something that wasn't nothing, I rushed into his room and saw him on the other end of the bed, screaming once again. I wrapped my arms around him, mostly to comfort him but also to stop him from thrashing around. He sagged against me, whimpering, until his eyes opened and he stared up at me.

"Sorry for waking you." He mumbled, trembling. "I'll get some sleeping pills."
I stroked his hair back. I had nothing to say to that, so we lay in silence for a while until light burst into the dark room. At 8:12am we made breakfast and then remembered the Radio Show.
"We need to go shopping, and then I want to film a video, and then we can go." I offered, rummaging through my draws. "Don't wear anything black." I told him, fishing out a red shirt that would fit him.
"I don't have anything else-" I threw it over and he caught it. "Fine." He grumbled and pulled it on.

***

My heart pounded throughout the whole show. More than twice I stuttered or said something stupid and completley unrelevant, but when our boss spoke to us at the end she said we did amazing. I didn't believe her, but Dan had been great at it, despite the sweat running down his face and his trembling hands. Maybe it was because he was brilliant at drama, and words came smoothly to him. 

"You look tense." Dan noticed as we walked home. It wasn't far, but it was dark, and more than once a drunk man stumbled past us and tried to kiss me. Dan instantly shoved him in the chest and pulled me away, his face contorting in anger.  

"I guess the Radio show wore me out." I shrugged, glancing around us. It didn't think to bring a jacket, so I was freezing. "Where are we?" I moaned, my feet hurting. 

"Almost there." Dan sighed, grabbing my hand and dragging me along. He must've felt how cold I was, because he pulled off his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders. I was tempted to throw it back at him, but a gust of wind blew over us and I huddled inside it, shivering. "I'll make hot chocolate, eh?"

I nodded, my teeth chattering. "I need a  bath; a hot one. And we need to watch more Soul Eater. Seriously, when was the last time we watched that?" 

"I dunno." Dan shrugged and stopped outside a door; our door. I hadn't realised. He unlocked it and let me in first, despite that he wasn't wearing a coat. I climbed up the stairs, hearing Dan shuffling behind me, and burst into our apartment gratefully, taking in the warmth. Dan immediately ran into the kitchen to make hot chocolates, and I ran a bath with lots of bubble mixture, smiling that we had actually just been on our own radio show. It was almost hard to believe! 

After an hour in the bath with my hot chocolat eheld high above the water, I finally managed to settle down with Dan on the chouch, cuddled up into his chest. His breaths were slow and his heartbeat steady and when I looked up into his face all I could see was how calm and relaxed he was, unlike every other day when his eyes are sad and his mouth set into a thin line. I guessed the memories from his childhood hadn't gone away, but maybe they were, as he didn't seem to remember anything other than me and our love. That was all he needed to remember..