Craving him: The beginning of us

10- Boyfriend vs Lover

Arielle

September 8,2020: Tuesday

I woke up the next morning my head was on his chest. I could hear his heart beating rapidly and his snoring.
When I lift up my head he wakes up instantly "good morning sleepy head" he smiles.

"Hey love, good day, am I taking you home or are we going to school?".

"My house my uniforms are at my house. I get up before I do he lays on my legs I sit up and look down at him and gave him a kiss "I could get use to this. You should just leave your uniforms here. So when you sleep over you could just go to school"

I stared down into his eyes he started to blush. I played with his hair and he started playfully kicked his legs like a dog. I say "who's a good doggy" joking with him.

We are in the car he's been smiling all morning. I like seeing him like this so happy. We both reach to turn the music up it was playing some song by Demi Lovato.

He sang the song with me in the car bopping our heads to the beat. This was the most fun I had in weeks and not thought of Blaine. Damn it, I thought about him. He reached for my hand and let him hold it.

When we reach the house Blaine came out instead of Anthony I say "where's Anthony?".

"He's in the house he's still asleep. He doesn't have classes until later" he moves to go to the drivers side. He yanks Oliver's car door open, I rush over to get in between them before Blaine could fight him.

"If you fucking touched her I will kill you. You heard me?" He threatens.

"I'm not scared of you Blaine" he says as Oliver gets out of the car and walks in front of him "Arielle is my girlfriend you don't tell me what I can and can't do. If I want to fuck her I will"

I'm shocked by his words. I never heard him say anything like that before I didn't know neither to like it or hate it.

Blaine punches Oliver in the face. Oliver is on the ground now holding his nose it's bleeding on his sweater. I bend down next to Oliver to get him up I yell at Blaine "why would you do that for?.

He stands there looking puzzled he just punched my boyfriend because he talked about fucking me. Why would he care about that?when he made it clear he didn't care about me.

Oliver gets up and punches Blaine in the face blood running down their faces. I get in the middle I scream "we are not fighting each other today okay" I turn to Oliver "please leave, I'll see you at school".

He comes and gives me a kiss on my cheek Blaine makes a threatening move as Oliver gets in the car and drives away. I walk back into the house pretending he's not there in front of me.

He grabbed my hand arms "you are going to pretend I'm not here?" He follows me.

"Yes, I can Blaine I need to avoid you. I can't believe you fought Oliver Mr doesn't have feeling because he said things about fucking me".

His face gets angry I put my hands on his chest rubbing my hands along it "what you don't you like Oliver's hands all over my body. You don't want him to be the one fucking me holding on to my-"

"Shut up!" He screams his face is red he clenches his fist in anger. He puts his hands around my throat "I don't want you fucking him. I can't bare it".

"And what makes you think you tell me what to do?"

"Do you want to hear me say that I care about you. That I think about you nonstop every day and night before I go to sleep. That every time I close my eyes everything we did together replays in my mind at night".

"Your just saying this so I will forgive you and things could go back to the way it was before. I can't do it anymore I'm with Oliver. I need to respect him enough not to cheat" I say.

"I tell you and you don't believe me anyways. Oliver will never give you what I give you.".

"Why should I believe you? Give me one reason?" I say with my arms crossed.

When he stays quiet I turn start walking into the house he grabs my hands and turns me into his body wrapping his hands around my waste I look up at him his brown eyes shining in the morning light. He kisses me holding on to me I kissed him with so much passion others would think we was eating each other whole.

I pull away "if my brother ever catches you,he would murder you Blaine. You also can't kiss me and everything is fine. You said what you said and you can't take it back". I look everywhere but his eyes I know if I look into them I would give in I always did.

I walks into the house and into my room. I get my uniform and run into the bathroom I started to cry. I didn't know why in the moment. Everything was too much lately it's like I'm not breathing and I have been trying to catch my breath but things come along and knock the breath right back out of me.

I broke down in the shower I let the hot steamy room of sadness consume whole. I put my head back and let the water run on my body as I cried. I thought about all the moments that brought me here starting with the party and all the way to today.

I heard a knock on the door "Elle are you okay?" It echoed in my ear.

I say through my tears " I'm fine Blaine good away" I lied.

It was like he heard me crying he knocked on the door again "please open this door Elle".

I thought about it did I really want to open the door and let him in? more than anything. But should I? Definitely not.

I wrapped myself in my towel and opened the door slightly "what do you want Blaine?" I say quietly not to wake up my brother.

"Your eyes are red have you been crying?" He reached for my cheek and I pull away. I can't let him touch me right me now I would just want to jump into his arms and I can't.

"No, it's the water in my eyes I been in here for a long time" I lied. It's like he knew I was lying he shifted his legs from one to the other leaning on the door way.

"You know you don't have to lie to me, please let me comfort you" he says.

"I can't, I have to get dressed before I'm late to school I can't have you distracting me" I closed the door. I leaned on the door and took a deep breath and started to cry again.

I want to do is scream I never thought in a million years that this would be my life. I'm fighting with Blaine that guy I know I should stay away from but I can't the same guy I knew for years and has never changed. Oliver the sweetest guy you could ever met and isn't selfish or ignorant about him being rich.

Why do I always put myself in these situations?. I know what I should do: stop seeing Blaine, don't speak to him, don't look at him but I can't. I had a crush on Blaine since we were kids. When I was 9 and he was 10 he used to get on his knees and give me a ring pop every Saturday for months.

When he turned a teenager he decided to drink and party and smoke all the time. This was around the time he finally hit puberty and he became Blaine, the playboy with the heartless attitude. He pulled away from me and it just became him and Anthony. I found Riley and it became just me and Riley.

I always wanted to ask him why? I guess I just didn't want to know badly. But here I am in a situation we're my morals are questioned. Day by day I know it's wrong but I wanted his touch, to feel his skin on top of mine, to feel his lips on mine. I left lonely without his touch, unprotected.