Craving him: The beginning of us

30-Moving to The Taylor's

Blaine

December 12, 2020, Friday

Elle rushed to put her clothes on. I still had my pants on without a shirt. I walked to the door I find my dad. "What do you want?" I give him an attitude.

He looked in my room to see if anyone was there "Nothing,I just thought I hear someone else's voice here".

"Elle here's" before he could say anything else she walked out he looked at her. She was dressed and looked exactly how she came.

He looked at her I was hoping he wouldn't say anything to her"is Christmas already is it?" He asked. He was trying to make a joke but it wasn't funny.

"No" she responded before I could say anything back "my brother and I had a fight and he kicked me out".

"Well you can stay here on one condition. You sleep in your own room we don't need babies running around, do we ?" Another joke wow. I can't believe he's actually being nice to her, he was such an asshole to her.

She nods her head slowly and I grab her hand to comfort her. She stands closely next to me like she's afraid he's going to do something to her. He walks out and it's awkward silence on her part. I wonder what she's thinking about she looks sad again.

I sit on the bed and motioned for her to sit on my lap. She sits on my lap no questions asked. I wanted to ask her what's wrong but I know what wrong. She feels guilty for what she did with me. Her whole world is falling apart because of me.

Madeline walks in "ah, looks who's here I didn't know you were here?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes "what the fuck are you doing here Madeline?" I screamed at her. I can see Arielle worried expression on her face.

"You said we were" she puts it in air quotes "hanging out" Elle looked at me then got up with a disgusted look on her face.

"Well I don't want to bother your guys hanging out I'm going to unpack in the farthest room from here. So I don't have to hear you guys" she puts in in air quotes "hanging out" I grabbed Arielle arm, she hit my arm causing me to let go.

She walks out upset at me, she's right I do let Madeline get in the middle of our relationship. But for some reason I can't let her go. I yell "Did you have to do that?"

"Yes Blaine, you need to let go of the fantasy that she's going to let you be with her. She doesn't trust you because of your playboy past, you can claim you don't do that anymore but once a playboy always a playboy"

She's wrong completely Arielle wouldn't have left with me if she didn't want me. I knew she was right I let Madeline manipulate me into thinking I wasn't good enough to for her.

"You need to leave Madeline, I'm in love with Arielle and we are already a couple " she gasps like she didn't expect me to say.

"Well there's something you don't know" she sings songs it. I'm intrigued.

I move closer to her and stand in front of her towering over her. "Say it" I yell in a threatening tone. Whatever game she was playing with me, I wanted no part in it.

She doesn't look me in the eye I can tell it's bad. She tells me "I think you should sit down for this one."

When I sit down she continues "your dad didn't send me away because I was with you, he sent me away because I was pregnant".

I jump up from the bed angry "your telling me this whole time you were keeping my child away from me" I scream. I'm so mad I can't think straight.

"It was his idea to keep the child from you. I'm sorry Blaine I am" she apologize. I can't believe they both kept this from me for 5 years.

"You kept my child away from me for 5 years. You don't get to apologize and what I am supposed to tell Elle huh?" I scream. I have so much anger building up inside. I can't believe this.

"Tell her nothing she doesn't need to know" she puts her hand to my chest "come on, now we can be the family we always talked about". I grab her wrist to take them off of me.

"I don't want you, what do you not understand about that" I yell for her to get it through her head. I let go of her wrist and I'm pacing throughout the room. I honestly can't believe this.

"Arielle will never be okay with this" she comments "and you know that little Virgin Mary is the type to want a guy,marry him and have some kids. Not marry some guy who had kids from someone else especially someone she hates and you know I'm right" she walks out.

I want to scream and yell and trash the whole house. Instead I walk to my dads study, he's sitting at his desk writing something. "Is it true?" I slam my hand on the desk to get his attention.

"Is what true Blaine?" He acts oblivious like he didn't know what I was asking him.

"Did you know I had a child from Madeline?" He clears his throat. It gives me all the confirmation I need.

"Of course I knew Blaine, you didn't need a child running around distracting you from being the best you. I thought it would give you the best chance to become great"

I hit the desk "bull shit !, you wanted to control me like you always do. How you could lie to my face all these years? How could you let me fall into the deep end?"

"Falling into the deep end is what got you your little brown-haired princess Arielle. I wasn't going to let you have your future destroyed over a child. I'm sorry you don't see it..."

"Nobody fucking sees it that way !" I snap and interrupt by screaming in his face. "you are such a fucking piece of shit. I wish I never met you and I wish for a different father" I stick the middle finger at him before I left.

My mind went instantly to Arielle "what I am going to tell her. I mean I could tell her the truth but then she's think I still want to be with Madeline. I don't want Madeline, I want her Arielle . It's always been her.

I can imagine her now her long brown her with those awful highlights she got. The way she  smiles even brighter than the sun, she was always my light in dark places and now more than ever I need her. But I couldn't tell her this.

I walk into her room before I walked in I made sure to take a breath so I don't release my anger out on her. I needed her right now so when I walked in I wrapped her in my arms. She chuckles "what's wrong Blaine?."

I move my hands to her cheeks "just hug me and don't let me go" she wraps hands around my body giving me warmth and I wrap mine around her too. Still I wonder about the child. Does he look like me? Does he want to know me? Questions I needed to ask Madeline.

Arielle whispers "I'm going to go to the hospital". Before she could finish I pulled away I swear if he's hurt I couldn't handle it. "I'm going to the hospital to get birth control" she reassured me. I took another breath in relief.

I pulled her back in I don't think I couldn't take any other bad news especially losing her. I laid in bed with her we watched a movie.